Saturday, January 16, 2010

Saturday Afternoon Rant (Facebook Status Edition)

Alright so today is a busy day for me; sister's home from college so I'm doing the family thing, along with squeezing in basketball at open gym, the NFL Playoffs, and going out in the city tonight, but before all that I just wanted to get this quick little rant out about Facebook status updates.
Is there anything more annoying then the overbearing, habitual status up-dating "friend" of yours that constantly takes over your News Feed like they're Alexander The Great? Granted, if your doing something out of the ordinary, or have a funny/important link or quote that you want people to see then by all means do it. But I'm appalled at all of the over use of these status updates on meaningless shit.

Here's a list of the three most annoying types of statuses, in no particular order because I hate them all equally.

1. The "Gym" or "Gym'in it" status. This is one of the more repetitive trends, that I'm guaranteed to see at any given time, while on Facebook. Okay, we get it . You work out a lot, and like to make that fact known. To everyone. Everyday. Seriously, there's some people out there that you look at their page, and everyday at the same time you see "Gym" or "Getting my swell on" or any basic derivative of that sentence. Look, if you're really going to the gym that much, I can tell by looking at three pictures of you. I don't need you constantly beating it into my head everyday.

2. The "Hit the cell"/"Text me"/"Call me"/"Cells good" status. Question: Has anyone ever called or texted a person, simply because they felt instructed to by looking at their status? My answer: No. And if you have, that's just creepy. The constant need for someone to "text me :)" or "cell's gravy" reeks of desperation, and is a huge pet peeve of mine. If I want to call/text you, I can assure you that I will. I don't need your in-your-face attempt at conversation wasting precious New Feed space.

3. The "Derek Jeter is my hero" (after he hits a home run)/"I can't believe he missed that"/"Touchdown baby!" status. Basically, anytime there is a popular game on television, and the whole Facebook community feels the need to update their status simultaneously while the game unfolds. Example, A-Rod hits a home run in the ALCS, and within 5 minutes your News Feed is BLOWN UP by Yankee's fans writing "Homerunnnn!!!!", "Lets go Yanks we got this", "Did you see that fucking home-run?" (which btw to answer that question, yes I did see that fucking home run, the whole world saw that fucking home run, hence there is no need to write about it you loser), or worse, the girls that refer to him as their "husband" that just went yard. It doesn't make you a "better fan" by doing so, in fact, leaving the television to go to a computer to write that makes you a "worse fan", and if you're updating your status from your phone then that just makes you even more pathetic. Once again, I can sympathize with you when there is a truly amazing moment worth updating your status for, i.e. David Tyree's catch or a walk off/intense victory in the playoffs, but every time Mark Sanchez throws a first quarter touchdown we don't need you writing about it like he just pulled off Montana to Clark for the comeback win versus Dallas in '82.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I just thought of a new situation where the phrase "going raw" can be applied to. How about anytime you are at the gym without an Ipod on? Is there a more risky/dangerous maneuver then going to the gym without music? I personally feel unmotivated, lost, and out of place without headphones on at the gym, but get me in there with full battery life and I'm training like Stallone in Rocky IV. Anyways, just a thought, hopefully it catches on.

Lastly, I'll leave the Jet's fans with some old highlights to get them in the spirit for the big game tomorrow!



  1. dayne,

    i agree with the whole facebook status. its pretty annoying for people that need to let us know what they are doing every minute of thier lives. And yes i would feel naked without my headphones when im at the gym. but yeah man. Im rooting for the jets only because i hate the chargers and phillip rivers...hes not good

    way to keep the vary the topics between you two. other than that, if you have enough readers, you should create a discussion fourm to have readers express how they feel about the article and coverse with other readers. I know that comment section is probably for that. just a suggestion


  2. Danny Boy, couldn't agree with you more about these rediculous FaceBook status updates. Personally, the one I hate the most is the annoying females who decide to pour their emotions out about how their having the worst day ever, in an attempt to get people to feel bad for them (also brings into debate the "Judy likes this" stupid add on). For example, Claire's status says, Claire...."Hates people who go behind their backs and hook up with Tony because I had him first, but I guess we all know who the real friends are....fml...ugh bad day, tanning, gym, sleeping. call/text." First of all, I don't give a shit because your probably a skank anyway getting banged up by every dude on campus who drops a simple line, so shut your cootie hole Claire.

    On a second note, hilarious Jet draft video. My dad always used to say, "Don't let your babies grow up to be Jet fans." I'm hoping for the best tomorrow.

  3. Yo the Jets would be better off looking at Mel Kiper's draft board than going to their retarded scouts. Jesus man, who drafts a fullback in the first round and uses their first pick on a kicker. They are terrible in the draft