Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Three Quick Thoughts

Okay, so I've been working on an epic Jersey Shore episode 4 re-cap, but before I finished up with that I had three thoughts on my mind that I wanted to share with you all.
Quick thought #1. In the previous episode of Jersey Shore, Tommy (Jwoww's boyfriend), confronts Jwoww via phone about how his friend (spy) caught her bumping and grinding with Pauley D on the dance floor at Karma. Jwoww denies the allegations at first, but then changes from denial to reasoning that she only danced with him for 5 minutes, but more importantly, that they were dancing to House Music. To further this point, Snooki enters the room, gets on the phone, and tells Tommy "It was House Music!" Which got me to thinking.... What if in life, whenever you fucked up, you could simply blame it on house music and everything would be okay? "Honey, why are you getting home at 2 in the morning and why was your phone off?" "Sorry babe, I was driving home, but then some house music came on the radio and I just got in the zone." Or "You haven't paid rent in three months, your being evicted, pack up your shit" "Ah man I'm really sorry, I've been listening to a lot of house music lately. Don't worry I'll get you your money" and everything would be gravy. Now that's a world that I someday want to live in.

Quick thought #2. This picture doesn't really pertain to my thought, but its the closest picture I could find that resembles my favorite demographic of man out there... The 50+ year old black man who still talks/obsesses/reminisces about getting ass. I'm serious, there isn't a more entertaining group of people then these guys. I know because I've worked with a few of them in the past and its great. Always talking about who they want to/would bang (usually in the workplace), obscure places that they have banged, and constantly talking about all the "tail" they used to pull when they were younger. If you've never met someone like this before, I suggest you do so immediately. Oh and if your lucky, you'll find one of them who has an "old lady" but still talks (brags) about all his side chicks.

Quick thought #3. And lastly, a point that was brought to my attention by my cousin Cj. Mary Swanson. You know, that chick from "Dumb & Dumber" whose husband is being held for ransom, and the owner of the briefcase that Lloyd and Harry drive across the country to deliver? If shes married, and her husband is being held for ransom, then why the hell is she going on dates with Harry AND making out with him in his car like a 16 year old on a first date? What kind of shit is that? Your husbands tied up somewhere and your hitting the slopes like Peekaboo Street and having flirty snowball fights? Jeez, if a beautiful girl like Mary Swanson can't be faithful at a time like that then who can? Now when I'm married and if I ever get kidnapped and held for ransom, I'm going to have to have this thought in the back of my head the whole time. Talk about adding insult to injury.

"What was all that talk about one in a million?"


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