Friday, March 25, 2011

Three Things To "Get Down" With This Friday

In honor of Rebecca Black's musical abortion "Friday" surpassing 50 million views on YouTube, I've decided to title this next post "Three Things To Get Down With This Friday". Just three things to be on the look out for/check out. Not sure if this will turn into a weekly column or not, but as long as Ms. Black is debating on whether to kick it in the front seat, or sit in the back seat, my fingers will be typing away. Also, who's the fat Usher lookalike in the above video? That guy is just oozing with street cred after that performance.

1. Derrick Williams- Not since Crystal Gail Mangum has one individual done this much damage to the University of Duke. In last nights coming out party, Williams had a career high 32 points and 13 rebounds, en route to a 93-77 dismantling of #1 seed Blue Devils. Williams has shined thus far in the NCAA and Pac 10 tournaments, and is doing all the right things to build his case for top pick in this June's NBA Draft. One scout refers to him as a cross between a better David West, and a stronger Antawn Jamison. Not a bad comparison if you ask me.

For the first time since 2006, the #1 pick in the draft isn't a shoe in this late in the season. If Williams and the Wildcats can get past Kemba Walker tomorrow night and into the Final 4, look for Williams draft projections to skyrocket to the top, if he's not there already.

Also, does rooting against Duke ever get old? I had them winning it all in my bracket and was still happy to see them go down. Kyle Singler is the team captain of the "Guys Who Are So Ugly That Despite Being Great Athletes, It's Conceivable That They Don't Get Any Ass" All-Stars. Other players on this team include Sam Cassell, Robin Lopez, Greg Ostertag, Joakim Noah, Bryant "Big Country" Reeves and Kueth Duany.

#2. @shelbyfero's Twitter page- I came across this 17 year old's Twitter account after a RT (re-tweet) by Bill Simmons a few weeks ago, and she has far and away the funniest timeline of tweets I have ever seen. Shelbyfero is 140 characters of pure gold. To be honest, I don't even actually know too much about her. She has no wiki page, doesn't write the name of her high school, or even what state she's from. But what she does write is the funniest, most society-aware (yup, just made that word up) tweets I've ever seen. I'm in the process of writing a mega-column about Twitter now, in which I plan on touching on a lot more Shelby-isms. But in the meantime enjoy these few gems from her.

  • My childhood ended the first time my iPhone corrected “gelato” to “fellatio.”
  • There should be some sort of Nobel prize for dads who aren’t creepy towards babysitters.
  • I’ve been using whitening strips for weeks but I still hate golf.
  • “This is probably a good time to reflect on every mistake I’ve ever made” - 3am
  • Nothing like a fun, friendly game among friends to find out who's an asshole
  • Winking is a good way to let people know you're not afraid to rape again
  • I love when people tell me they’re spiritual so I don’t waste any time and get straight to hating them.
  • It's been over ten years since I said "bye" on the phone without sounding like an asshole.
  • No, I'm pretty sure you're saying she's a gold digger.
And if you didn't like those, don't worry there's still 6,000+ more to read from.

#3 Adam, from "Real World: Las Vegas"- For those of you that haven't been watching this season (episode 3 aired this week, so it's not too late to catch up), you're missing out on one of the biggest reality show train-wrecks of all time, Adam. So far this season he's been kicked out of various posh Las Vegas night clubs for smashing bottles, fighting bouncers (see above), and taking his shirt off. In addition to this, he has also smashed beer bottles in the apartment, and gotten into a physical altercation with fellow housemate, and garbageman, LeRoy. Not a night goes by that Adam doesn't hit the bottle hard, and he's close to entering the reality T.V. Sheen Zone, for complete and utter ridiculousness.

The best part about Adam is his background. We find out through his drunken confession to Nany that he started selling drugs at the age of 14, and within a few months was "the biggest drug dealer in my state (Maine)". At the age of 16 he orchestrated a drug robbery that went array, and resulted with the man they were robbing getting shot. Although Adam didn't pull the trigger, it was his gun, and idea, that led to him being sent to juvie for the next three years. However, Adam uses this to his advantage, and successfully (and creepily) predicts that opening up about his trouble past to Nany will make her all the more attracted to him. And low and behold, in next weeks preview it shows her getting into bed with him. Well played, indeed. Maybe I should start opening up more about that time that I got caught stealing dice from 'Try and Buy' when I was 11. That will really get the ladies going.

-fresh (@danye33)

1 comment:

  1. You were 14 when that happened and please never come in our store again.

    -Try 'N Buy Toy Stores Inc.