Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Would You Pay $20 A Month To Watch The Aspiring "World's Most Obese Woman" Eat Herself To Death?

(AOL) Donna Simpson, a single mom in New Jersey, weighs 700 pounds and is trying to gain an additional 300 pounds so that she can claim and hold the Guinness World Records' title of World's Most Obese Woman. She says that she couldn't do it without the help of her 4-year-old daughter, who shops with her, helps her prepare food, and feeds her so that she can pile on additional pounds. Simpson pays for her $580-to-$750 per week eating habit plus other expenses by, basically, being overweight. She has a website, geared toward "fat admirers," where people pay to see her eat and flaunt her flab. She claims that she has 7,000 paying fans, and makes nearly $100,000 annually from the site. A three-day membership to her site goes for $7.95, and a one-month membership costs $19.95. For that you get to see videos like "Squashing," "Blue Dress" and "Eating a Pie" plus access to more than 270 photos.

Look at Donna Simpson just crushing life the same way she crushes trays of Eggplant Parmesan. This is another one of those situations where as much as I would love to hate on Jaba the Hutt, she's pretty much owning every facet of life.

Let's first look at this financially. We'll meet somewhere in the middle and say she spends $675 a week on food (Hasn't she ever heard of the dollar menu? You know she's not dropping her extra change at the organic section of Trader Joe's), that comes out to roughly 35 k a year. Take that away from her $100,000 annual take home and she's still sitting pretty at 65 large (no pun intended). Meanwhile I bust my ass at work 5 days a week and still have to pinch pennies on days when I opt. for the footlong over the 6 inch at Subway.

Next let's look at her sex life. Sure she's a single mom now, but having a 4 year old daughter means shes gotten laid at least once in the past 5 years and that's more than I can for most 700+ pounders. Plus you know there are some twisted chubby chasers out there that absolutely eat this shit up (pun intended).

And lastly, she's an internet star! It's 2011, isn't this what we all strive for? She's got her own website with tons of loyal followers cheering on her quest (assisting in her suicide) to become the World's Most Obese Woman. But for real who are the assholes supporting this site? 8 bucks for a 3 day pass to obtain access to 270 pictures of her naked (I'm assuming)/eating/starring in videos such as "Squashing"?

In all seriousness though kudos to Donna for inovling her daughter in this whole shindig. Dragging her along to the supermarket, having her prep meals etc. Truly making the most of their time together now, fully knowing that the over/under on the Donna Simpson heart attack pool is next Tuesday at noon.

Donna Simpson > 2,800 Quarter Pounders

-fresh (@danye33)

Is it bad that I kinda really wanna see this "Squashing" video?

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