Friday, August 12, 2011

Parents Give 12 Year Old Daughter Psychedelic Mushrooms

(BTLS) Early Wednesday Morning police found a 12 year old girl near Regency Lodge. They said she was muddy, crying, and distraught. The girl told police her parents had given her mushrooms (psilocybin) for religious purposes. She then left her house and continued her “religious experience” by laying in a creek and walking through the mud. Christopher and Cynthia Ewerdt have been booked for Felony Child Abuse and Manufacturing a Controlled Substance. Police said they did find evidence of a “mushroom grow operation” at the parent’s home. Public Information Officer Lieutenant Darci Tierney said police believe this wasn’t the first time the parents gave their kid mushrooms

Without even looking at the mugshots for these people I know that they're white and I'll tell you why. Because right off the bat they broke Rule # 5 from Biggie's 10 Crack Commandments. "Never sell no crack where you rest at, I don't care if they want an ounce tell 'em bounce". Granted, in this instance we're dealing with psilocybin mushrooms instead of crack-cocaine but the same rules apply. There's just no possible way a black drug dealing couple gets this step wrong. Biggie literally wrote a step by step booklet for you to get your game on track, not your wig pushed back, and what do these people do? They grew, stashed and dealt from their living room to a person they lived with no less! So what if it was their daughter, still a no-no.

And what's up with this chick anyway? "The girl told police her parents had given her mushrooms for religious purposes". Hasn't she ever seen the Melo "Stop Snitchin" DVD? Just because they gave it to you doesn't mean you had to eat it sister. And it "wasn't the first time the parents gave their kid mushrooms" well you're gonna have a tough time finding that shit now. That was your #1 connect and you just sold them out faster than those Beanie Baby Happy Meal toys at McDonald's. I don't know what other 12 year olds are moving that kind of product on the playground.

As Christian Bale would say "For fuck's sake, you're amateur."


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