Friday, August 12, 2011

"Three Things To Look Forward To" Mid-August Edition

1. Fantasy Football- I don't know about you guys, but I haven't been able to work, eat, sleep or get a boner without thinking about my fantasy team ever since we set the draft date for year 2 of our "Remember The Tight Ones" keeper league (Sunday, August 14th. Expect detailed analysis post-draft. I'm self indulgent, deal with it). Fantasy football is one of* the best things that has ever happened to mankind. And I mean that 100% towards "man." Never before has gambling been made so accessible, marketable and portrayed so positively in our culture. It leads to hundreds of hours of debates, Internet banter, water cooler fodder talk and ultimately, the biggest bragging rights one guy can ever have over his peers (Sans sleeping with someones girlfriend, pre-when they started dating. Obviously).

*other things that deserve mentioning- Internet porn, birth control pills, the RedZone channel, the "Fire and Ice" grill/cooler combo, Xbox Live and the opening scene of "We Own The Night"

So far, so good for Johnny, CT and LeRoy. All three have made it to this seasons last episode

2. The finale of "The Challenge: RIVALS"- Wednesday, August 17th, 10pm on MTV. Not since Seinfeld ended when I was in 4th grade will I have been this upset about a show going off the air. This season, with the return of CT, has provided me with the most entertaining hour of television each week, all summer long. For the Final challenge (and the challenge leading up to it) the cast was flown from Costa Rice to Argentina, where things really got loco. Last weeks episode saw Wes dump a 2 liter bottle of soda of Cara Marie, Laurel break Paula down like an abused puppy dog (Insults Laurel hits on in her 45 second tirade- Paula's battle with anorexia, the fact that she is 39 and both unmarried and without children, that she is ugly and that she has never won a challenge before) and they set the stage for a final elimination round duel of CT/Adam vs. Johnny/Tyler. In case you didn't watch the Cutthroat season from a couple years back, click here to see what happened the last time CT and Johnny faced off in an elimination round. I expect their battle next week to yield the same results. For my betting odds on which team of rivals will win it all, click here. "You killed it".

3. 30 Minutes Or Less- Admittedly, I don't know too much about this movie, other than what I've gathered from watching the trailer a bunch of times. My take is that Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network) and Aziz Ansari (Parks & Rec) are two down on their luck buddies in their early 20's who get kidnapped by two ruthless, dimwit criminals (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson). Once they are kidnapped they are then strapped with a bomb and told they have 9 hours to rob a bank or else they will be blown to smithereens (Haven't heard/used that phrase in while. Don't plan on using it again anytime soon). The title comes from the pizza company that Eisenberg's character works for, and the criminals get him to their place by ordering pizza from his restaurant. Clever! I may* try that tonight when I order my chicken parm wedge. Regardless the movie looks funny and I'll be reporting back on it soon. Can't go wrong with Mark Zuckerberg, Kenny Powers and the dad from Road Trip.

*definitely not trying that tonight


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