So apparently Osama Bin Laden’s mutilated corpse was not actually buried at sea as President Obama once claimed, but rather shipped back to the United States. Now anyone who knows me knows I'm not Obama's greatest supporter. But I'm not even going to put Obama on blast because I believe he made the right call. Osama Bin Laden deserved the furthest thing from a proper burial. The guy was directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of American citizens. I wish they would have taken him alive because death was the easy way out for him. He didn't have to suffer like the families of the victims. They should have reopened Guantanamo Bay just for him. Water boarding would seem like a god damn vacation by the time it was all said and done.
But believe it or not there is arguably a bigger issue here than what we should do with some piece of shit's worthless carcass; and that is the fact that all of this information was brought to light by hackers and Wikileaks in the first place. Let me start out with the hackers. This is why I'm NEVER mean to nerds anymore. Last thing I'm looking for is pimply faced, computer wiz to gain access to all my finances, credit cards, or social security number just cause I cracked some joke about how uses the sword too much in Halo or hasn't stopped pwning noobs on World of Warcraft in over 6 years. Would rather just be nice, joke around with them, and have them on my side.
Finally moving onto Wikileaks itself. For those of you who don't know or don't care, Wikileaks is a not for profit media outlet run by Australian internet activist Julian Assange. Assange makes his living leaking classified documents that have normally been hacked or given to him by whistleblowers. Normally I could give a fuck less about Australia. Honestly, can't even remember the last time I even thought about Australia until now. Perhaps when Steve Irwin died? Anyways they pretty much have absolutely no bearing on world affairs. But then you got Julian Assange just trying to put them on the map leaking classified (some top secret) documents for the whole world to see. Just publicizing and illustrating to the entire world all the corners the United States has cut to gain the military and intelligence edge it has today. Wtf Julian? I know you look like Bill Maher's evil twin brother but come on its not that bad. Ehh maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe he just needs to get out in the sun more. Looking like a human Casper ain’t gonna score you any points either. You wanna play the big time you can't look like an adult Draco Malfoy and expect to be taken seriously. Every time I see Assange I feel like a game of Quidditch is eminent. Regardless U.S. needs to get this guy and it needed to happen yesterday. Personally, I say we just seal team six his ass. What's Australia gonna do? Either way Obama needs to do something. If not for America do it for yourself. Have some god damn self respect. Really gonna let some fuckin Aussie basically show the whole world you’re a liar.
Bush Cheney would
have locked him away in some secret detention center starved him for hours,
waterboarded him, and then pissed on him.
For those of you who don't know politics all that well I'm gonna simplify this all in a DirecTV commercial type analysis. When you make fun of nerds they hack shit. When they hack shit they give it to albino Australians. When they give it to albino Australians, the albino leaks it. When the albino leaks it everyone knows you’re a liar. When everyone knows your liar you do nothing about it, you get one upped by George Bush. Don’t get one upped by George Bush.