Ahhh it feels so good to be back. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last entry to the weave, but like Adele at an all you can eat buffet, I just can’t quit you guys. In my absence I’ve been working a lot, going to DMB concerts (yeah brah!) and trying BK's new sweet potato fries (they're delicious) so if you’re mad that I’ve left you craving for your next hit of the hip street drug known as Miggs...I say this to you in the immortal voice of the late, great, Chris Farley.. LAY OFF ME I’M STARVING.
As always, these are actual e-mails from our readers. If you have a question that needs answering, hit us up on our Facebook fan page, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Enjoy.
I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday and as always, very much enjoyed the heavy dose of ego-inflating birthday wishes that I received on the old Facebook page. While scrolling through my well wishes, I couldn’t help but notice not one, but two, old flings of mine writing to me saying “Happy Birthday”. Only it wasn’t your typical “happy birthday”, there was extra letters (ex. Birthdayyy), smiley faces and one of them even said she missed me. Now I haven’t talked, or kissed, either of these girls in over two years so my question for you is this; were they just being courteous, or is there a chance of me getting to see their “Land Before Time 2”? And if so, how should I go about pursuing this? -S.D.
Great question S.D, and thanks for reaching out.
Before the existence of social media the only way you could see how an ex-lover is doing is by actually bumping into them and asking how they're live is progressing on without you. Depending on how the relationship ended we could either wish them luck and good fortune or we can wish that they catch an STD from a toilet seat and end up smoking (sniffing?) bath salts and getting they're face eaten off. But now with new technology we’re just a few clicks of a mouse away from seeing who they've been hanging out with, if they've been traveling, if they're seeing someone else and most importantly, if they’re happy without you. It used to be a lot easier to try and just cut somebody out of your life. We used to have control over the situation. Now unless you take it upon yourself to fully delete them as a friend and then block them via fb/twitter/instagram it takes a lot more effort physically and mentally to drop someone out of your life.
Which leads us to S.D.'s dilemma. It has become a national past time of ours that when it’s your birthday you sit at your computer desk (ed note: smartphone) and bask in the glorious ecstasy of accumulating birthday wishes on your wall. Top 5 feelings of all time. Everybody comes out of the woodwork YOUR day. You get the kids you don’t remember because you met them at the bar one night blacked out, the weird kid that asked for your e-mail in class because they like to have a contact in case they call out, hell often times the majority of your well wishes are from the randos. Good friends normally opt to text. But it goes without saying that the most challenging birthday wishes to interpret come from ex flames.
Obviously this is a person you once cared for. There was a moment of shared love and it meant something to you. Their opinions once mattered in decisions like what to wear, how to cut your hair, what you eat and what movies you go see. This person probably played a significant part of your life. So you can’t just dismiss a happy birthday message because yes, it defiantly could mean more than that. I’m going to break it down for you below.
1) Am I single, and if so, am I happy? Also, is she single?
If you’re dating someone and you’re happy with that relationship, I highly recommend to stick with it and don't harp on the past. Think about any budding relationships you currently have. If you’re kind of feeling this chick at work and you want to take her out and try and start a pants fire with her then continue with that. Columbus would have never found North America if he retreated back to Spain every time he thought about one of his hoes. Let’s say she has a boyfriend. Only advance if you’re willing to physically fight for this girl or at the very least deal with the overall drama that will inevitably take place if she is currently dating someone else. if none of these issues concern you then looks to point 2.
2) I’m single...but I don’t have fond memories of this person.
If you are single, give it some thought...If every time you think of this person it makes you think of her carrying your sack around in her purse, then the answer should be kind of clear to you. Even if all you want is al little bit of late night lovin...keep this in mind...this isn’t sex with a stranger...I’m assuming you had sexual relations with this person before...so it is near impossible to take our own preferences and prejudices that we would have with a one night stand and apply it to a reconnecting booty call. It’s a different mindset and would be pretty hard to keep it emotionless because there is more than just love juices floating around, you guys have a history. So before you make a move really think whether or not you want to possibly get back with this person? if the answer is yes, follow the next piece of advice.
3) I’m single...and I really did enjoy being with this person.
Any form of communication between you and your old partner is all that’s needed to get the party started again. So if you are single and think and you remember being happy with this person and feel like you could/want to rekindle a relationship then my advice is to go for it. The worst thing that could happen is you talk to her and realize that the spark is no longer there, allowing and you to close that chapter of your life. The results can range from meeting up for a cup of coffee to a passionate sex romp in front of a fire place on top of some sort of animal skinned rug (I’m assuming that is a fantasy of everybody’s, not just mine) ... to a fully fledged second tour in relationship 'NAM.
What is all boils down to is that it really depends on your feelings about that specific person...keep in mind any action towards that person can result in a reaction of starting your relationship back up again. I hope I was helpful to those who experience this when an ex writes reaches out to you using social media. My final piece of advice for you is when you start thinking "I hated being with that person but I really need to get laid." to just open another tab and type in youjizz.com...scroll around for a little bitm take care of business, eat a couple packs of fruit snacks and then call it a night.
Miggs is the 2 Man Weave's perma-frat boy