Friday, June 29, 2012

The Six Winners And Losers Of This Year’s NBA Draft

Six Winners

New Orleans- Sure having the #1 pick helps, but anytime you can land two starters in the same draft there’s cause for celebration. Rivers and Davis make up two of the top three players in the high school class of 2011, and immediately bump the Hornets up from bottom of the barrel to playoff contenders out West.

Golden State- An All-American (granted it was pre-season), the Big 10 Player of the Year (Draymond Green) and a pair of 7 footers (Vandy’s Festus Ezeli and Ognjen Kuzmic from Turkey)? I’ll take those additons any day. Look for Barnes to help stretch the floor and thrive in Dorell Wright’s former minutes in the Bay.

Boston- They got bigger, stronger and more Orange on the inside. If Sully’s bulging dick can clear up, then they just got themselves some lottery talent at a bargain price.

Houston- So Daryl wasn’t able to turn his three first round picks into Dwight, Tyreke, Josh Smith or Andre Drummond, but he did walk away with three guys with lottery level talent in Jeremy Lamb, Royce White and Terence Jones. All three will be solid contributors next season and at the very least intriguing trade chips.

Oklahoma City- Knock him all you want but Perry Jones at #28 is an absolute steal. Anytime you can add a guy who was at one time in the not-so-distant past considered a top 5 pick for pennies you’ve got to be happy. Like I said in the mock draft, anything the Thunder got out of this draft would be icing on the cake for the leagues most complete team. 

Milwaukee- I liked the Hensen pick at #14, but I loved the Lamb pick at #42. This is someone who will be a quality backup guard in the league for years to come and has unlimited range from three. 


Six Losers

Brooklyn- They could have headed to the Big Apple with Harrison Barnes, instead they got Ilkan Karaman.

New York- They could have opted for a home grown talent like Kyle O’Quinn or Kevin Jones, instead they drafted a player from Greece who we’ll probably never see in a Knicks uni.

Portland- Anytime you spend two lottery picks on a point guard who never competed against a top 25 team in his four years of college and a 7 foot white guy with minimal playing experience you've got to be a little hesitant to give it the old stamp of approval. Will Barton and Tyshawn Taylor were nice second round steals, but I don't like them enough to forget about the Leonard pick. I would have gone with John Hensen.

Cleveland- It's hard to say any team really loses when they add lottery talent, but with that being said I feel the Cavs really reached on Dion Waiters. I know my biased 'Cuse fans love the guy, so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I just hope this isn't another case of Marvin Williams all over again. However, the real reason Cleveland makes it on my shit list is because they traded three draft picks for Tyler Zellar. Not knocking Tyler, but in a deep draft I feel they could have improved even more by adding a few more pieces. 

Miami- Even though they landed themselves a future #1 pick from Philly, you've got to hate when a team drops out of the draft altogether. Especially with Perry Jones still on the board. 

Denver- For the sole reason that they robbed us of seeing our first All-American first round since 1995!


-fresh (@danye33)

Katie Holmes Finally Decides To Shave The Beard


(People)  After five years of marriage, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce, PEOPLE has learned exclusively. "This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family," says Holmes's attorney Jonathan Wolfe. "Katie's primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter's best interest." The Rock of Ages star, 49, wed actress Holmes, 33, in an Italian castle in November 2006. They have daughter Suri, 6.

Divorces are horrible. I wouldn't wish them upon any family, especially when there's a child in the picture. So I'm just going to make the obligatory "her five year contract expired" joke and move on to the real point of this blog- which is the fact that Tom Cruise invented Tebowing. Check out the above mash up from Cruise's infamous and possibly staged couch-jumping-manic-episode on the Oprah show from back in '06. Dude straight up Tebow's right in O's grill piece like a boss. The fact that America's favorite backup quarterback gets all the love, hype and (possibly) money from this move is outrageous. Not only that, but Cruising sounds 100x cooler than Tebowing, so please, the next time we see someone honoring their lord and savior in a public forum lets call it by it's proper name.  


-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Slice You Should Know- 2 Bro's Edition

So I’ve come to the realization that I’m addicted to pizza. At no point was this ever clearer to me than last night at about 7pm as I lined up to start a 5k race in Central Park for the sole motivation of a free pizza party that was set to follow. I’m not kidding, I represented my company in a media race just so I could have an excuse to eat pizza. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that 80% of the reason why I work out daily (m-f) is so I can eat pizza whenever the hell I feel like it. And you know what the funny part is?  I’m not even mad. I’m 100% down with working out as a means to justify my ‘za intake.

With this acceptance comes a responsibility to inform my fellow readers of all the great (and not so great) pizza hot spots New York city has to offer. In today’s inaugural edition we’re going to be talking about 2 Bro’s Pizza, specifically, the one located on 46th st. between 5th and 6th Ave. The chain originated on St. Mark's Place, where you can find not one, but two of them located just steps away, and they're known for their famous $1 slices. 

BANG FOR YOUR BUCK:  * * * * * five pepperoni's 

2 Bro's is the most affordable dining spot in midtown, which is a gift and a curse considering its just a block and a half away from my office. For a buck you can get a a delicious, thick slice of plain cheese or go for the 2 plain/can of soda combo for $2.75. Are you a toppings guy like myself? If so, you're in luck. They have everything from pepperoni, meatball, sausage, BACON or mushroom for an additional 50 cents, or you can be a BAWSE and go for the chicken/combination slices for a mere 2 doll hairs. I mean check out my lunch from today. Cost me $3.50 total. Three hours and one trip to the bathroom later and I'm still full.  


SERVICE: * * * * four pepperoni's 

The service really is pretty remarkable at this place, especially when you consider the speed at which they get you your food, coupled with the fact that the line is routinely out the door. Unfortunately I'm going to have to deduct them one pepperoni for having English as their second language. I know it's not fair, but that's the way it's got to be. Can't be giving out perfect scores on the first review. Don't want to set the bar too high. 

OLD FAITHFUL: The Barbecue Chicken Slice

 If you have two dollars in your pocket and a pair of functioning legs (which oddly enough, an inordinate number of people on 6th Ave do not), I suggest you get your ass over there and treat yourself to one of god's greatest creations. This puppy has turned my frown upside down on many a winter's day and is the clear cut 2 Bro's fan favorite. Chicken stacked almost an inch high drowning in rich BBQ sauce is the perfect remedy for a shitty day at the office. If they're not sold out, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm snagging one upon entrance no questions asked.

OVERALL RATING: * * * * * four and a half pepperoni's 

If you're looking for a quick, fulling fix, or an extremely cheap date (recession proof!), 2 Bro's is the place to go. Trust me, I'm their biggest fan. 


-fresh (@danye33)

Got a pizza place you want reviewed? Hit me up at dan.chiavetta@gmail.com

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

MLB Midseason Recap



With the NHL and NBA playoffs coming to an end, our national pastime can officially take center stage once again. In case you were as caught up as I was with praying that the Heat and Devils blew it in the Finals (1 out of 2 ain’t bad) and moved baseball to the backburner, here is a brief recap of the first half of the 2012 MLB season.

In the AL, the Yanks, Rays, Rangers, and Angels are playing at the level we would expect them to be playing at albeit the Angels were off to a horrific start, bouncing back nicely. Detroit is struggling a little more than expected but it is still early. Expect Detroit and Chicago to be fighting it out for AL Central championship come September.

Biggest AL Surprises: Listen, if you were going to tell me that the Baltimore Orioles would have the 5th best record in the bigs at the midway point of the season I probably would have sent Leonardo DiCaprio to your house to tell you to wake the fuck up. Well, unlike Leo, these Orioles are not waiting for a train, they’re on it and steam rolling just about everyone. At 41-31, the Orioles currently hold the AL’s 3rd best record. Much credit goes to Buck Showalter, who was brought in for the sole purpose of changing the atmosphere surrounding the Orioles and appears to be doing just that. Coming into the season, pitching was supposed to be the one thing holding the team back, however through 70+ games the pitching staff has gotten the job done. Especially the bullpen, who has been lights out with Jim Johnson anchoring the staff. The Orioles don’t appear to be going anywhere, look for them to be in the hunt this fall.


Another surprise team hails from the south side of Chicago. The White Sox and first time manager Robin Ventura currently lead the central at 39-35. For a first time manager he seems to be pushing all the right buttons. Getting players like Dayan Viciedo and Alejandro De Aza to step up and be key contributors to the offense, coupled with the re-emergence of Adam Dunn and Alex Rios have led to a potent offense. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the most underrated offensive player in baseball, Paul Konerko, batting .342 with 13 homers and 39 RBI’s. Speaking of re-emergence, Jake Peavy has finally returned to form posting a 2.74 ERA thus far; paired with Chris Sale who is a CY Young candidate, the Sox have a nice 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation. With the addition of Kevin Youkilis, this team will be fighting with Detroit until the end.

Out in the NL, the Braves, Reds, and Cards are about where I expected them to be record wise. I knew the Nationals and Giants would be good but they have exceeded even my expectations with both teams over the 40 win mark. With all the hype surrounding the Marlins, Ozzie and company have been inconsistent through the early goings and are currently 34-40.

Biggest NL Surprises: After the team was finally sold off for a mere 2 Billion Dollars, the Dodgers have come out of nowhere to post the best record in the NL. The natural assumption is Matt Kemp must be going all Rosie Larsen on everyone and killing it, which he was until he got bit by the injury bug. Perhaps the most impressive aspect of the Dodgers start, is that it has been a team effort. Matt Kemp has missed about half the season thus far and the Dodgers haven’t missed a beat, maintaining an above .500 winning percentage without the slugger. The real key to the Dodgers success has been their pitching staff which has been the best in the majors. While Clayton is certainly proving why he was last season’s Cy Young  winner, Chris Capuano has arguably been the Dodgers ace. They’re playing great team baseball and seem to be in it for the long haul.


Perhaps an even bigger surprise comes out of the Big Apple, where the New York Mets are currently three games over .500 and battling for first in the new beast that is the NL East. Personally, I consider this feat way more impressive than what the Dodgers are doing for one reason- competition. The Mets have to deal with four playoff contenders in their division alone, while the Dodgers get free passes against the abysmal Rockies & Padres. Johan appears healthy and is throwing much better than his 5-4 record would indicate. R.A Dickey is arguably the best pitcher in the NL right now. And the most important person for the Mets, David Wright, finally appears to have his confidence back with the new hitter friendly dimensions of Citi Field. However, all good things must come to an end and I believe that notion holds true for the Amazins’.

Biggest Disappointment: There’s really only one team that I can put here without question and that is the Philadelphia Phillies. As much as I love to see Philly fans suffer because they all suck, I’m still shocked that baseball’s ‘Big Three’ hasn’t been able to keep this team afloat while Howard and Utley recover from injury. Now, I know that Doc Halladay wasn’t himself and was put on the DL at the end of May. Regardless, how the fuck does Cliff Lee have 0 wins and we are approaching the All-Star break. Just to put everything in perspective, 49 year old Jamie Moyer, who is now bouncing around the minor leagues and tops out at a blistering 80 miles per hour, has 2 wins… WTF! On the bright side, Chase Utley is on the verge of returning to the Phillies lineup and Ryan Howard’s leg is getting stronger by each passing day. Hopefully with the return of the two key veterans, three including Halladay, the Fightin’ Phils will do just that and make a run at the final wild card spot.

Now that we have given a brief synopsis on the teams, let’s get into the individuals who have earned the mid-season awards.

AL Most Valuable Rookie: While Will Middlebrooks of the Red Sox has thoroughly impressed me in the early going, the Angels Mike Trout has been the best rookie in all of baseball and it’s really not even that close. Batting .335 with an OBP of .395 along with swiping he has been the spark plug for a struggling Angels’ lineup.

NL Most Valuable Rookie: Almost by default, I have no choice but to pick Bryce Harper, who has no real competition in the category. All things considered, he is 19 years old and has put together a very good rookie campaign. Making it even more impressive is that amount of attention and hype he had to live up to. Since being called up on April 27th, Harper has hit .280, scored 32 runs and hit seven homeruns. This kid will be the next big thing and is certainly off to a good start.

AL MVP: Who knows where this guy could have been without all the off the field issues, but Josh Hamilton is the best left handed hitter in baseball hands down, probably the best hitter regardless. Batting .317 with 24 jacks and 67 RBI’s, the man is going to be in contention for the triple crown a la his 2010 MVP campaign. I smell a repeat… not relapse… as this year’s AL MVP.

NL MVP: This isn’t as easy as the AL. I have it as a tossup between Joey Votto and Carlos Beltran. As nice as it is to see Carlos Beltran re-emerging as one of the game’s best outfielders, I’m taking the second best left-handed hitter in the game in Joey Votto. Batting .353 with a ridiculous .478 OBP, simple put the man is on fire. If he keeps hitting at this pace the Reds will be serious contenders in October.


AL CY YoungAs of right now it comes down to last year’s Cy Young Winner, Justin Verlander, and Chris Sale. And just like when I hit the bars, I’m looking forward to a repeat offender, in this case, Justin Verlander. He has the most innings pitched, the second most K’s in the league, a 2.52 ERA and a .201 OBA. Not to mention, I don’t know anyone that can throw 100 mph fastball in the 8th inning on his 100th pitch… and at 101… and again at 102. #NOLANRYANSEE-ME-SAW-YOU.

NL CY Young: The NL has a couple of worthy candidates here, between Strasburg, Cain, and this guy Dickey, you can’t really go wrong with all three. But how can I go against the legend, you know who I’m talking about. 11-1, 2.31 ERA, .91 WHIP, 106 fucking strikeouts R U DICKEN me, R.A. Dickey is slapping that tag on every game he pitches. I am praying to god he keeps pitching like this, best name in baseball and he throws a knuckleball.

Personal side note: As a diehard Yankees fan, want to give a quick shout out to the Melk Man, Melky Cabrera who is quietly leading the league in hits with 105 and batting .352 for the Giants.

In case you want to take a look back at our three part MLB preview from March, click here, here and here

-Palaz

Joe is the 2 man weave's baseball afficionado

That Shit Cray



LeBron James has quite the documented history of rapping, so when I clicked this video of him mouthing "N*ggas In Paris" I thought I was in for another one of his typical lip syncing charades. WRONG. This is arguably the most bad ass basketball video I've ever seen. Apparently it was from one of James' lockout All-Star games last summer and the video starts with Bron singing his boy Hova's single while someone shoots a free throw.  Afterwards, the ball is in-bounded to James, who then takes two nonchalant dribbles before sinking a 50+ foot jump shot from behind the half court line that swishes at the buzzer. It wasn't a heave, it wasn't a chuck, it was a pull up J. FROM HALF COURT! Take that Skip Bayless. Clutch gene like a MF'er.

-fresh (@danye33)

Monday, June 25, 2012

2012 N.B.A. Mock Draft, 2 Man Weave Style


Welcome to the second annual NBA Mock Draft, 2 Man Weave Style. This year's crop of incoming talent features a slew of ballers who have already been on America's radar for quite sometime. Unlike last year's draft which saw four of the first seven picks come from overseas, this class has been primarily born and raised state side, and features a handful of household names.

The draft is my favorite night of the year. Tall men don ridiculous outfits, smokeshow girlfriends are put on display like show room cars and words like "wing span" and "potential" get tossed around like a Mike Martz offense. It's a night where hype surpasses talent on the food chain of relevance and it's a time where hopeless teams can (temporarily) find hope.

The 2012 NBA Draft kicks off on Thursday, June 28th, live from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey and will air on ESPN. And now, the picks!

1. New Orleans- Anthony Davis, 6'10 PF, Kentucky

Davis is a gem of a player, a lanky big with the rare ability to dictate the game from the the defensive end. He led Kentucky to their first National title in 15 years, and officially murdered the stigma that one and dones can't win it all. He shattered the SEC single season block record (186) and took home the highly coveted Naismith Award, which is given annually to the nation's top player.


With a possible assist from commissioner David Stern, the Hornet's luck out big time here. He is the only player in this draft I would feel comfortable betting my life on that they will make at least one All-Star appearance, and the addition of the Unibrow is certain to go a long way in luring other marque free agents (like SG  Eric Gordon) to sign. In essence, he is New Orleans' life preserver.

2. Charlotte- Thomas Robinson, 6'9 PF, Kansas

Ah, what to do for the team that needs everything? I'd say taking Thomas Robinson, the reigning Big 12 Player of the Year and First Team All American is a good start .  If the Bobcats don't trade down, or out altogether, which I highly suggest they do, then I think they have to go with the decorated Jay Hawk enforcer. He averaged just under 18/12 in his junior campaign, and his 7'1" wing span will more than make up for his slightly undersized 6'9" frame at the next level. The Bobcats may not be landing the star they had hoped for after a season in which they set the record for impotence, but adding someone who can contribute right away is a nice consolation prize. It’s the safe pick, which goes against MJ’s track record as a GM. 

Maybe that’s a good thing.       

3. Washington- Bradley Beal, 6'4 SG, Florida

The best case scenario for the Wizards would be to have sharp shooter Bradley Beal Occupying John Wall Street in the D.C. back court for the better half of the next decade. This Gator gunner enters the '12 draft as the most highly coveted two guard, and despite shooting just 34% from behind the arc as a freshman, scouts feel he will have no problem adjusting to life behind the NBA 3 point line. He has 6'7" wingspan, and pulled down 6.7 boards per game at UF, stellar production from a guard.


4. Cleveland- Harrison Barnes, 6'8 SF, North Carolina

It's no secret that the Cavs have a sweet spot for this UNC swingman. Had Barnes left Chapel Hill after his freshman year, it probably would have been him, not Tristan Thompson, wearing the crimson and yellow alongside Kyrie. So it makes sense for Cleveland to scoop him this time around if available. It's easy to knock Barnes for not living up to expectations in college, but when you consider what was expected of him before he even donned a uni (first and only freshman to ever be named to the Pre-Season All American Team), it makes a little bit more sense why he came up short. At 6'8" he is the ideal size for a small forward, and the safe pick to contribute right away. You can pencil him for 10/5 his rookie season, which leads us to...

5. Sacramento- Andre Drummond, 6'11 C, UConn

Andre "high risk, high reward" Drummond is the most polarizing player in the 2012 Draft. He stands 6'11" with a staggering 7'6" wingspan, and is the most physically imposing player to enter the draft since Dwight Howard. But although you can't coach size, you better hope the Kings coaching staff will be able to teach other basic fundamentals like foul shooting (29%) and rebounding (less than 7 defensive rpg per. 40 minutes last season). Though a front court pairing of Drummond and DeMarcus could leave fans salivating in Sac-Town, one still has to question how a team with two lottery players failed to find even marginal success in college (Andre and Jeremy Lamb led the Huskies to a mediocre 20-14 record in 2012). Fair or not, the Hasheem Thabeet comps will be prevalent until proven differently.

6. Portland- Jeremy Lamb, 6'5 SG, UConn

Admittedly, this is a bit of a reach pick for Portland, but I think he fills a need that the Blazers must address- shooting guard. He averaged nearly 18 ppg for the aforementioned underachieving Huskies last year, however he was an intricate part of their 2011 Championship team the year before, playing alongside Kemba Walker.  This draft is extremely deep at the 2-guard position, and Lamb is the second best option behind Beal. He can guard all three perimeter positions with his 7'+ wingspan, and could go a long way in helping Blazer's fans get over the loss of Brandon Roy.

 *pours out 40*

7. Golden State- Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, 6'6, SF, Kentucky 

Like most David Lee anchored front courts, the Warriors have spent the better part of the last two seasons severely lacking muscle and toughness inside. Sure, the debut of Andrew Bogut in the sunshine state will help that cause, but not as much as the addition of Kidd-Gilchrist will. The Wildcat wingman averaged just under 12/8 per game, and despite not having as high of a ceiling as some of the other guys in this draft (Henson, Lillard, Waiters), you know exactly what you’re going to get with MKG and sometimes that’s even more important. He has won at every level and is a fierce competitor. This move will also make room for Klay Thompson to shift to shooting guard, where he'll use his size advantage to thrive in his second season in Golden State. If Mr. Glass, Steph Curry, could manage to stay healthy, the Warriors would have a nice, budding, young nucleus to go to war with out west. 


8.Toronto- Dion Waiters, 6'4 SG, Syracuse

Waiters has already allegedly received a promise from a team in the top 10, and I'm willing to put my money on that team being Toronto. The Raptors will head into next season with Jonas Valanciunas, last year's #5 overall pick, which allows them to enter this draft playing with house money. Meaning they can address specific needs, rather than go for best available. Though Waiters passing and rebounding could both use severe improvements (sub 3/gm in both categories last year at Cuse), the wing from Philly will bring some much needed scoring, and toughness, to America's hat.

9. Detroit- John Henson, 6'10 PF, North Carolina

Henson is the ultimate defensive package. He averaged more than 10rpg last year for the Tar Heels, to go along with his Serge Ibaka-esq. 3.2 blocked shots per contest. With this pick, Detroit shows a commitment to improving on defense, and provides great young help down low for their leader, Greg Monroe. Another strong draft from the Pistons and they'll almost be back to playing competitive basketball, after those crippling '09 contracts they handed out to Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva.

10. New Orleans- Terence Jones, 6'8 PF, Kentucky

Had Jones left Kentucky after his Freshman year, he likely would have been a top 5 pick. Instead he now finds himself in the lower half of the lottery, where he will be reunited with front court running mate Anthony Davis. The duo won a national title together this past season, so clearly chemistry isn't an issue, and Jones' range and length make him a match up nightmare for either forward position. Plus, he ran the point as a freshman in high school so you know he's comfortable with the rock in his hands.


11. Portland- Damian Lillard, 6-3 PG, Weber State

Portland has been pretty open about their lust for Lillard, and with any luck, he'll still be on the board when the Blazers go on the clock at #11. The Oakland product averaged a jaw-dropping 24.5 ppg last year, while shooting 41% from behind the arc and 89% from the stripe. If the Blazers are in fact able to pair up Lillard with Lamb in their back court, things could really start looking up in the pacific northwest. I still can't believe the Nets gift wrapped this team a rebuilding package for (quite possibly) nothing (if Wallace opts out this summer).

12. Milwaukee- Tyler Zellar, 7'0 C, North Carolina

The Bucks reload with Bogut 2.0 in Tyler Zellar, the 7 foot senior out of North Carolina. Zellar is a great talent who earned himself ACC Player of the Year honors, after putting up close to 17 ppg/10 rpg in his last season as a Tar Heel. He has great range for a big man and improved drastically in each of his four collegiate seasons. There's no reason to expect that trend to stop once he reaches the pros.

13. Phoenix- Austin Rivers, 6-4 SG, Duke

Rivers, the ACC's Freshman of the Year, has an immense knowledge for the game, essentially growing up in NBA arenas while father Doc played and later coached. The 6'5" (in shoes) combo guard showed some chops in his only season in Durham, and although he could have benefited from another season under Coach K (who wouldn't?), he should have no problem logging serious minutes right from the get go. It remains to be seen whether or not Steve Nash will resign in the desert, with Miami, Toronto and New York as possible alternative landing spots, and if that happens I think the no brainer move would be to hand over the point guard keys to Rivers.



It really is a shame that Boston doesn't have a higher draft pick, but I'm still holding onto hope that they'll trade up so we can finally see a father-son NBA duo.

14. Houston- Terence Ross, 6'7 SG, Washington

The sophomore, All-Pac 12 shooting guard has the ideal frame for an NBA 2. And although Houston's back court is already a bit crowded with Kevin Martin, Kyle Lowry and (possibly) Goran Dragic, you can never have too many scorers on your roster. Ross will need to bulk up, and improve his touch around the basket, but you've got to love his knack for hitting the glass (6+ per) and that silky smooth jump shop of his. Random fact- Ross and Terence Jones (#10 in mock) were high school teammates at Jefferson High School where they won three straight Oregon class 5A state championships.

15. Philly- Jared Sullinger, 6'9 PF, Ohio State

Sully is a proven winner and force to be reckoned with down on the blocks, which is why it's so unfortunate that his limited athletic ability will likely scare off lottery teams from drafting him. Despite being named as a first team All-American and captain of a Buckeyes team that made it all the way to the Final Four this past season, Sullinger's draft stock has taken a massive hit of late due to concerns about his weight, potential effectiveness at the next level and most importantly, his back issues. Philly could be looking at their next starting power forward, or the next Sean May. Either way, it's a high risk-medium reward situation, but I think Philly rolls the dice with Sullinger.

16. Houston- Perry Jones, 6'11 PF, Baylor

As PJ3 continues to do his best Facebook IPO impression and plummet down mocks across the country, I can't help but think Houston will stop the bleeding and snag him at sixteen.  This is a player who as recently as early May was thought to be a high end lottery pick, and had he left Baylor after his freshman year would have been a top 5 pick. The knock on Jones seems to be his tendency to disappear every now and then, including a 2 point performance in the opening round of the NCAA Tournament against S.D. State and 4 points in 41 minutes earlier in the year versus West Virginia. At 6'11" you would like to see Jones bulk up and learn to play with his back to the basket. But apparently he has other plans in mind. Check out this tweet from Chad Ford -


Regardless, you've got to love the Paul George comp, and the fact that this pick comes via the Knicks (the unforgivable T-Mac trade) is why I'm almost certain it will pan out for Houston.

17. Dallas- Kendall Marshall, 6'4 PG, North Carolina

Marshall is a transcendent point guard who averaged a mind blowing 9.8 apg for the Tar Heels. Had it not been for a freak fractured wrist in the second round of the torney, it might have been a lighter shade of blue that lifted the gold plated Wooden Championship trophy.  He would be a great fit in Dallas as the heir to their PG throne once J-Kidd finally goes the way of Old Yeller, and an even better consolation prize if they miss out of the D-Will sweepstakes.

18. Houston- Meyers Leonard, 7' C, Illinois

Houston obtained this pick from the Timberwolves in a trade for 2012 Dunk Contest participant Chase Budinger on Tuesday. The move leaves the Rockets with three first round picks (14,16 & 18) which could be used to either rebuild or go after a marquee player like Dwight Howard. But regardless of whether it's Orlando or Houston making this pick Thursday night, both would be in desperate need of a center, and Meyers is a 7 footer who could come in and contribute right away.

19. Orlando- Maquis Teague, 6'2 PG, Kentucky

Teague is the latest in a long line of elite UK point guards destined for success at the next level, following in the footsteps of Rajon Rondo, John Wall and Eric Bleadsoe. Maquis boasted a respectable 10/5, while logging over 1300 minutes in his lone season in Lexington. And although he may not be primed for a starting job right off the back, if Jameer Nelson opts out of his contract, the position is his to lose.

20. Denver- Moe Harkless, 6'8 SF, St. John's

Harkless hopes to be the first Johnny since Eric Barkley (2000) to get drafted in the first round. Which is almost as unbelievable as the fact that the last Red Storm to get drafted, period, was Omar Cook back in the second round of the '01 draft. Moe gets up and down the floor like a guard and attacks the rim with reckless abandon. The Big East Rookie of the Year averaged an impressive 15/8.6 and should fit right in with the run and gun Nuggets, the NBA's highest scoring team for two straight years. Right now he's kind of teetering between the lines of a small or power forward. However, if he wants to excel as a 3 in the league he'll have to improve his 20% shooting from behind the arc. But then again, that's the same exact percentage Tyreke Evans shot this past season, so maybe he's already good to go?

21. Boston- Arnett Moultrie, 6'10 PF, Mississippi State

Arnett, last year's most highly touted transfer (after leaving UTEP for Miss St.) finds himself a nice landing spot in Boston, on a team with lots of holes, and more importantly, front court minutes to go around (especially if KG high tails it out of there). The double double machine was named to the All-SEC team in his junior campaign, which saw him log a ridiculous 36 minutes per game. One stat that really jumps out to me when I look at Moultrie's numbers is his 5.2 offensive rebounds per 40 minutes, to go along with his 10.6 rpg overall. Look for Greg Stiemsma's bench reign to come to an abrupt halt next season in Bean town.

22. Boston- Doron Lamb, 6'4 SG, Kentucky

Okay, so Moultrie and Lamb doesn't have quite the same ring to it that Garnett and Allen once had, but if two of the big three decide to call it quits in Boston, it'll be reassuring to know that they can get a good chunk of their rebuilding done in the draft. Rondo, Bradley and Lamb would make a terrific three headed back court monster that could spread the floor and cause headaches for opposing defenses on a nightly basis. Doron shot better than 47% from deep in his two years at Lexington, and was the leading scorer in the 2012 National Championship game (22 points).


23. Atlanta- Andrew Nicholson, 6'9 PF, St. Bonaventure

Nicholson is a strong power forward who logged over 3,600 minutes in his four year tenure at St. Bonaventure. He increased his rebounding totals each season and was a prolific scorer who can burn you from anywhere on the court. The Hawks are one of those teams that have been stuck in no man's land for about three years too long, consistently finish either forth or fifth in the East, but lacking the talent/coaching/chemistry to make that next leap. A rebuilding process man be in order in Hotlanta, and if that's the case, Nicholson could be a nice piece to that puzzle.

24. Cleveland- Jeffery Taylor, 6'7 SF, Vanderbilt

Taylor is as durable as they come, missing only one start in his four years at Vandy. He has the ideal size for an NBA wing, and is a lock down perimeter defender. The Cavs are in the midst of a full on revival, lead by Kyrie Irving and (if this mock plays out) Harrison Barnes. Another young piece that will provide Iman Shumpert-esq. defense on the perimeter could be very beneficial for these young gunners.

25. Memphis- Quincy Miller, 6'9 SF, Baylor

The Big 12 Freshman of the Year led the Bears to their highest ranking ever this past season (#3) and Grizzlies hope he can bring them to never before seen heights as well. The versatile, lanky wing can guard both forward positions and is an excellent shot blocker/rebounder. He's only 19 years old, so a few seasons playing the role of Rudy Gay's apprentice could go a long way in setting him up for a successful career.


Random fact that has nothing to do with basketball- Quincy has thirteen siblings!

26. Indiana- Royce White, 6'8 PF, Iowa State

It's almost impossible to read up on Royce White and not come across the words "lottery talent" and "anxiety", and unfortunately this write up will be no different. The 6'8 bruiser out of Iowa State nearly averaged a double-double last season, but it's his ongoing battle with anxiety that captures the attention of most NBA GM's. White was ready to transfer to Kentucky back in 2010, with an offer letter on the table, when his fear of flying led to a severe panic attack and caused him to cancel his trip to Lexington. He's since addressed these issues, and I don't think it should deter Larry Bird from making this pick. Indian is on the cusp of becoming a power house in the East and if they hit a home run with Royce, Boston, Chicago and New York better watch out.

27. Miami- Fab Melo, 7'0 C, Syracuse

The Heat payed out a combined 8 million dollars in 2012 for the dismal services of Joel Anthony, Eddy Curry, Juwan Howard and Zydrunas Ilgauskas, so you better believe they would welcome this young 7 footer and his rookie contract with open arms. Sure, Fab may have single handedly ruined his schools chances of winning the title this year after he was ruled ineligible just days before the tournament started, but his 3 bpg and 56% shooting from the field are sure to make this Brazilian big man a hot commodity come draft day, and Miami is ready for the heat.


28. Oklahoma City- Tony Wroton, 6'5 PG, Washington

Wroton has been on basketball scouts radar since he was in middle school and excelled last season at Washington, where he took home Pac 12 Freshman of the Year honors. He's a combo guard who can get to the rim with the best of them, but he needs to needs to improve his long range shooting something awful. He averaged the same ppg as his 3P% (16), which is beyond unacceptable for a guard. Luckily for OKC, they're the most complete team in the league already, and anything they gain from the draft is icing on the cake. Look for Tony to contribute immediately off the bench, and excel in Derick Fisher's former minutes.

29. Chicago- John Jenkins, 6'4 SG, Vanderbilt

For the second year in a row injuries led to Chicago's premature demise. The signing of oft-injured Rip Hamilton proved to be much ado about nothing, leaving the Bulls once again in the market for a 2. If Jenkins is still available at #29 then he is a no brainer to become D Rose's latest running mate. John averaged 20 ppg last year for Vandy and hit nearly 4 threes per contest.

30. Golden State- Draymond Green, 6'7 SF, Michigan State

Golden State received this pick from San Antonio during the baffling Richard Jefferson-Stephan Jackson swap, which on paper was one of the worst trades of the season (I'm looking at you, Billy King). Jackson is the better player, with the better contract, and on the surface it looked like the Spurs once again were playing chess while the rest of the league played checkers. That still may be the case, but this pick will be the Warriors last chance to save face, which is why they should go with a proven vet, Big 10 Player of the Year, Draymond Green. He was the first player from a power conference to average 10/5/3 since Tim Duncan in '97 and  was the only player in the Big 10 to finish in the top ten in points, rebounds and assists per game. The do-it-all wing would be a nice addition to a team that once started Chris Wright, Charles Jenkins, Jeremy Tyler and Mickell Gladness.

Pick for 2013 Rookie of the Year- There's only one choice and it's the one eyebrowed bandit, Anthony Davis. Look for Davis to log close to thirty five minutes per night, and with Okafor gone, the paint will be his playground in N'awlins.

-fresh (@danye33)

Dan is the editor in chief of The 2 Man Weave


For a look back in time, check out our 2011 Weave Mock Draft.

Friday, June 22, 2012

It Took More Than The Big Three For LeBron To Get #1



The “A” story of the 2012 NBA Finals is obvious: Lebron James won his first NBA Championship. Today, billions of words will be written about things like exoneration, retribution, and legacy regarding King James. However, anyone with a macro-perspective on LBJ and the sports media as a whole knows it’s going to take more than one successful trip to the Promised Land for Lebron to cement his place in history and achieve his highest goals as a professional. After all, it was James himself who told us “…not 5, not 6, not 7….”, and understandably so for an individual who could be regarded as the most genetically gifted athlete in American sports history.

When I watched The Miami Heat dismantle the precocious Oklahoma City Thunder this past week, I was honestly bored by the idea that Lebron was winning his first title. In all honesty, did any person realistically think that he was going to finish his NBA career without a title? After the game, Lebron himself said it best: "It's about damn time." He was clearly the best player in the NBA this season, the best player in these NBA playoffs, and no one was surprised when he was named Finals MVP. Lebron finally played like Lebron, which is why everyone got on his case in the first place. People just want to see greatness when it matters, and Lebron finally gave the people what they wanted. 

The strongest and simultaneously most endearing narrative that jumped out to me was that The Miami Heat played like a championship team. Their dominance wasn't just a result of Lebron's greatness, his BFF D.Wade (the Scottie to Lebron's Michael), or the overlooked and often awkward Chris Bosh. It was about all of the things that Miami lacked a year ago: chemistry, camaraderie, confidence in each other, and unmatched will to win. For players like Mike Miller and Shane Battier, it was about compartmentalizing the pain of plaguing injuries and nearly two dozen combined seasons ending in disappointment, knocking down clutch 3 after clutch 3 (after clutch 3, after clutch 3....), and playing relentless defense against a group with twice their athletic ability. For younger players like Mario Chalmers and Norris Cole, it was about combining their youthful exuberance with the pervasive maturity they seemed to draw from their veteran teammates. Even the much-maligned Coach Spo carried himself with a certain patience and quiet distinction, something he acknowledged as being a result of the turbulent 2011 season.

There was no "Big 3". There weren't those tentative moments between James and Wade where they couldn't decide whose turn it was to make a play. It didn't matter which line-up was on the floor (Bosh played center basically the entire series), they played as a unit. It didn't matter who had the ball in their hands, they were all aggressive and fearless. It didn't matter who the open shooter was, they all caught and shot with confidence and weren't surprised when the 3's continued to fall. 

At one point, my roommate noted that this 2012 Miami Heat team was displaying the same will and desire to win that the 2011 Dallas Mavericks channeled just 12 months ago. I regarded it as "The Look Of A Team Whose Wives and Children Would Be Shot If They Lost This Game” (Ed. Note: I’m calling this the “Chris Benoit look”). An intense metaphor, but it's the most poignant way I could describe a group of men who would not let ANYTHING stand in the way of their common goal. It evoked the spirit of Rudy Tomjanovich's famous line "Never underestimate the heart of a champion." It no longer felt like The Team That Free Agency Built. Every guy on that roster earned their ring, and the right to be called an NBA champion. Except Eddy Curry. 


- J Fonts

So My Ex Wrote Happy Birthday To Me On Facebook- Gettin Miggy Wit It, Vol. 4



Ahhh it feels so good to be back. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last entry to the weave, but like Adele at an all you can eat buffet, I just can’t quit you guys. In my absence I’ve been working a lot, going to DMB concerts (yeah brah!) and trying BK's new sweet potato fries (they're delicious) so if you’re mad that I’ve left you craving for your next hit of the hip street drug known as Miggs...I say this to you in the immortal voice of the late, great, Chris Farley.. LAY OFF ME I’M STARVING.

As always, these are actual e-mails from our readers. If you have a question that needs answering, hit us up on our Facebook fan page, or e-mail us at dan.chiavetta@gmail.com. Enjoy.
 Yo miggs,
 I recently celebrated my 23rd  birthday and as always, very much enjoyed the heavy dose of ego-inflating birthday wishes that I received on the old Facebook page. While scrolling through my well wishes, I couldn’t help but notice not one, but two, old flings of mine writing to me saying “Happy Birthday”. Only it wasn’t your typical “happy birthday”, there was extra letters (ex. Birthdayyy), smiley faces and one of them even said she missed me. Now I haven’t talked, or kissed, either of these girls in over two years so my question for you is this; were they just being courteous, or is there a chance of me getting to see their “Land Before Time 2”? And if so, how should I go about pursuing this? -S.D.
Great question S.D, and thanks for reaching out. 

Before the existence of social media the only way you could see how an ex-lover is doing is by actually bumping into them and asking how they're live is progressing on without you. Depending on how the relationship ended we could either wish them luck and good fortune or we can wish that they catch an STD from a toilet seat and end up smoking (sniffing?) bath salts and getting they're face eaten off. But now with new technology we’re just a few clicks of a mouse away from seeing who they've been hanging out with, if they've been traveling, if they're seeing someone else and most importantly, if they’re happy without you. It used to be a lot easier to try and just cut somebody out of your life. We used to have control over the situation. Now unless you take it upon yourself to fully delete them as a friend and then block them via fb/twitter/instagram it takes a lot more effort physically and mentally to drop someone out of your life.

Which leads us to S.D.'s dilemma. It has become a national past time of ours that when it’s your birthday you sit at your computer desk (ed note: smartphone) and bask in the glorious ecstasy  of accumulating birthday wishes on your wall. Top 5 feelings of all time. Everybody comes out of the woodwork YOUR day. You get the kids you don’t remember because you met them at the bar one night blacked out, the weird kid that asked for your e-mail in class because they like to have a contact in case they call out, hell often times the majority of your well wishes are from the randos.  Good friends normally opt to text. But it goes without saying that the most challenging birthday wishes to interpret come from ex flames.

Obviously this is a person you once cared for. There was a moment of shared love and it meant something to you.  Their opinions once mattered in decisions like what to wear, how to cut your hair, what you eat and what movies you go see. This person probably played a significant part of your life. So you can’t just dismiss a happy birthday message because yes, it defiantly could mean more than that. I’m going to break it down for you below. 


1) Am I single, and if so, am I happy? Also, is she single?

 If you’re dating someone and you’re happy with that relationship, I highly recommend to stick with it and don't harp on the past.  Think about any budding relationships you currently have. If you’re kind of feeling this chick at work and you want to take her out and try and start a pants fire with her then continue with that. Columbus would have never found North America if he retreated back to Spain every time he thought about one of his hoes. Let’s say she has a boyfriend. Only advance if you’re willing to physically fight for this girl or at the very least deal with the overall drama that will inevitably take place if she is currently dating someone else. if none of these issues concern you then looks to point 2.

2) I’m single...but I don’t have fond memories of this person.

If you are single, give it some thought...If every time you think of this person it makes you think of her carrying your sack around in her purse, then the answer should be kind of clear to you. Even if all you want is al little bit of late night lovin...keep this in mind...this isn’t sex with a stranger...I’m assuming you had sexual relations with this person before...so it is near impossible to take our own preferences and prejudices that we would have with a one night stand and apply it to a reconnecting booty call. It’s a different mindset and would be pretty hard to keep it emotionless because there is more than just love juices floating around, you guys have a history. So before you make a move really think whether or not you want to possibly get back with this person? if the answer is yes, follow the next piece of advice.

3) I’m single...and I really did enjoy being with this person.

Any form of communication between you and your old partner is all that’s needed to get the party started again. So if you are single and think and you remember being happy with this person and feel like you could/want to rekindle a relationship then my advice is to go for it. The worst thing that could happen is you talk to her and realize that the spark is no longer there, allowing and you to close that chapter of your life. The results can range from meeting up for a cup of coffee to a passionate sex romp in front of a fire place on top of some sort of animal skinned rug (I’m assuming that is a fantasy of everybody’s, not just mine) ... to a fully fledged second tour in relationship 'NAM.
  
What is all boils down to is that it really depends on your feelings about that specific person...keep in mind any action towards that person can result in a reaction of starting your relationship back up again. I hope I was helpful to those who experience this when an ex writes reaches out to you using social media. My final piece of advice for you is when you start thinking "I hated being with that person but I really need to get laid."  to just open another tab and type in youjizz.com...scroll around for a little bitm take care of business, eat a couple packs of fruit snacks and then call it a night.

NO...NO...NO...NOTORIOUS.

-miggs

Miggs is the 2 Man Weave's perma-frat boy

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Weave Gotcha Covered- Phillip Phillips "The Stone"


Much like its predecessors Music Videos That Don't Suck and Awesome 90's Songs You May Have ForgottenWeave Gotcha Covered is a (fairly) new music feature we've been putting out from time to time to shine some light on our favorite musical covers.  This installment features American Idol season 11 winner Phillip Phillips, covering The Dave Matthews Band's fan-favorite "The Stone", off their album Before These Crowded Streets. Throughout Phillips A.I. gauntlet run, the 21 year old spoke openly about his admiration for Dave, and it's apparent in everything from his voice to his mannerisms. Phillip's does an admirable job of hitting both the hard and high notes on The Stone (no easy feat) and I'm rooting for him to break the Idol curse of "sucking after winning" aka Taylor Hicks disease.  


-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Toss Up! Which Ex-NBA Star Has The More Embarrassing YouTube Video?



In today's installment of "Toss Up" we're going to break down two bizarrely unique YouTube videos featuring former NBA All-Stars, Scottie Pippin and Stephon Marbury. Pippin's video features the former 6x World Champion/Dream Team member getting beat up by a gang of angry midgets. While Marbury's vid features him crying, shirtless and listening to "Lean On Me" by Kirk Franklin. We're going to take this one to the tape to see just which one of these grown men stars in the more embarrassing clip.




Look, life’s tough. And everyone grieves with their hardships in different ways . So if something is eating you up inside, or your down in the dumps, there’s nothing wrong with throwing on a little Kirk Franklin, saying a prayer and watering your cheek bones. HOWEVAH- this does become a problem when you decided to do your aforementioned mourning over the internet during a live YouStream show.  Though not as disturbing as that time he ate Vaseline, this video came off as way darker, and gave us a deeper insight to just how far his fall from stardom had taken him. Could you picture Kobe Bryant making a video of himself shirtless and crying while listening to Boyz II Men? No, you couldn’t imagine it because it would NEVER happen. But with Marbury, anything is possible.

Bonus points for eating his own boogers at the end!  





The Pippin videos come to you via “Midgets vs. Mascots”, which you can order today for only $14.99 (includes free pack of midget condoms to give to your friends. Not kidding)! Apparently it’s a “Borat” meets “Jackass” shockumentary where five little people and five mascots battle for $1 million apiece. Gary Coleman is credited for starting the fight with Pippin, though he cannot be seen in the above video (presumably because he’s too short- ZING!). Anyway this has got to be one of the lowest point in MJ’s sidekicks career. I mean, other than that time he sued countless blogs that had been reporting that he was broke. Because, you know, he totally didn’t NEED that money he was suing for. Either way, it’s probably better that he got beat up by those “little people” than his bookie amiright?

The Winner

There's no crying in baseball basketball!

-fresh (@danye33)

Dads Are The New Moms? Sign Me Up!

(Yahoo!) According to the most recent Census, the number of stay-at-home fathers in the United States has tripled in the past 10 years up to 154,000. Yet, these at-home dads are still the exception to the traditional household and many treading in unchartered parenting waters. "I think it's often perceived as something that people do without having a choice about it," he said. "This is something I was really excited to do." As Jake plays with their daughter, Erica spends her day knee-deep in tax documents. This working mother said she doesn't feel resentment towards her husband, but jealousy. "Definitely I am jealous when he calls and says 'oh she did x, y, and z' and I'm so happy that at least one of us gets to see it," she said. 


 Since the stone age (I'm assuming) it's been the mans job to provide for his lady and children, risking death and depression to make ends meat and keep the family above water. But not anymore! It looks like the tables are finally starting to turn for us men for the better. I can't for the life of me think of anything that would be better than being a stay at home dad. Make a couple of PB&J sandwiches, walk the kids down to the bus stop, check out the 9 am Sportscenter, "surf" YouPorn, (maybe) workout and then just blog all day from this computer chair. Greet the misses with some kisses, order in some dank takeout, rinse and repeat. Everyday would be like that movie Groundhog Day, only instead of covering some rodent in Punxsutawney, you'd be living the care free life of a adult frat boy with the occasionally duties of driving little Timmy to karate or taking Emily to Cold Stone. There's nothing emasculating about having your wife bring home the bacon, as long as you provide the stuffing. 


-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Here's The Leaked Cast List For The Upcoming Season Of "The Real World Challenge"


Two weeks ago I wrote about the new trailer that was released for The Real World: St. Thomas. I couldn't have been more underwhelmed, and talked about how it looked like a cross between The Simple Life and Bug Juice. I ended that column by submitting a plea to the public to "wake me up when The Challenge starts back up again." 


Well it turns out my prayers have been answered! The rosters for the latest (still untitled) season of The Challenge have been leaked,  and let's just say there's a lot of fresh new blood in the water. 



Alton (Las Vegas)
Chet (Brooklyn) 
CJ (Cancun) 
Danny (Austin)
Derek (Cancun) 
Dunbar (Sydney) 
Dustin (Las Vegas) 
Frank (San Diego) 
Issac (Sydney) 
JD (Brooklyn) 
Knight (New Orleans) 
Preston (New Orleans) 
Robb (St. Thomas) 
Trey (St. Thomas) 
Wes (Austin) 
Zach (San Diego) 
Ashli (Sydney) 
Ashley (San Diego) 
Devyn (Brooklyn) 
Jasmine (Cancun) 
Jemmye (New Orleans) 
Jonna (Cancun) 
Kelly Anne (Sydney) 
Lacey (Austin)
Laura (St. Thomas) 
Marie (St. Thomas) 
McKenzie (New Orleans) 
Melinda (Austin) 
Nany (Las Vegas) 
Sam (San Diego) 
Sarah (Brooklyn) 
Trishelle (Las Vegas) 



Although the location and format of the new season has yet to be reviled, the cast was spotted leaving JKF airport together in late May. 

Many theories have been floating around the blogosphere about the shows format, but the one that seems to make the most sense would be a potential "Battle of the Seasons". There are thirty two contestants, sixteen males/sixteen females, representing eight different Real World Seasons. Each season has two male and two female cast members, so the numbers play out nicely. The only possible flaw to this theory would be the fact that Nany and Dustin were not on the same Las Vegas season as Alton and Trishelle. However, I could still see them pairing them up based off location alone. 

Roughly half of the cast will be popping their Challenge cherries, so the possibility of a rookies vs. vets season is also in play. 

The first thing that jumped out to me while looking at the cast list was the unmistakable absence of some of the games most popular players like Johnny Bananas, Kenny, CT, Derrick and Paula, though to be fair, they could use the break. 


This season's cast features a nice mix of wild cards (Frank, Preston and Dustin are all capable of losing their shit at the drop of a hat) and instigators like Trishelle and Wes. To go along with with some epic smokeshows like Nany, McKenzie and Ashley. Anyone up for some water challenges?

Unlike their minor league farming system (The Real World), The Challenge rarely disappoints, and right now I have a three way tie between this, fantasy football and The Walking Dead for things I'm most excited for this fall. Stay tuned for more previews and predictions as the summer progresses. 

-fresh (@danye33)

LeBatard's Back With Another Rant!



Shortly after LeBron's "Decision" back in 2010, Dan LeBatard hit Miami radio airwaves with an epic rant that continues to live on in infamy to this day. Well, he's back at it again, and this time he's shitting on Boston, whom the Heat recently eliminated in the Eastern Conference Finals. Granted seventy five percent of why I love these things so much has to do with the background beat he's screaming over, but the fact remains I look forward to these rants the way stoners look forward to free Slurpie day at 7-11.

Below are my top my favorite quotes from his latest installment.

5. Hey Boston! Your Doc loses Game 7. Our Docs augment breasts!
4. The sixty story John Handcock tower boasts thirteen acres of glass. After Game 6, LeBron returned to South Beach, and thirteen acres of ASS!
3. Your most famous party Boston featured tea! Our most famous parties, FEATURE E!!!
2. Marquis Daniels looks like a cat fish!
1. You eat Boston cream pies, baked beans and chow-dah. You know what we eat? We'll eat your motherfuckin' face!


What the hell does too debaucherous mean?

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Jackass Star Plummets Off 100 Foot Cliff On Kayak



Bam Margera, the Jackass star with the onomatopoeia for a name, has been relatively quiet of late. But have no fear! For the tattoo clad stuntman is back and this time he's taken his stupidity to Oregon's Metlako Falls. Watch as he and pro-kayaker (there is such a thing?) Steve Fisher ride a tandem mini canoe off this 100 foot cliff.  


All in all, the eight different CONTOUR camera angles failed to capture any great shots. However, Bam was later hospitalized from the fall and needed emergency hernia surgery, so I guess there was a silver lining after all.  


-fresh (@danye33)
(via Gawker)

The First Kevin


As humans, we have this strange, inherited obsession with comparing new things in life, to things that we already know and are familiar with.  We’re always looking for that next person, band or political leader to come along that reminds of us whatever various person, band or political leader we’ve attached ourselves to in the past. In no case has this been more clear than in the witch hunt to crown the next Michael Jordan.

Before Michael’s career was even over, America had already begun it’s crusade to crown an identical successor to His Airness. First there was Allen Iverson, than there was Kobe Bryant, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady and most recently, LeBron James. And though all had moments (prolonged in some cases) of greatness, ultimately, all fell short of achieving MJ’s legacy. How do you emulate a transcendent man? You can’t.

With the bar set that high, failure is the only option. So when you start off comparing these young superstars to Michael Jordan right off the bat, it’s like playing a game of craps with a pair of loaded dice. You’re not going to win.

The latest player to get his name thrown into the ring of fire that is the MJ comparison is Kevin Durant, the 23 year old forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder.  The 6’10” “small forward” can cover opponents centers, or bring the ball up the court. There is no stopping him.  In just five years in the league, Durant has already won the Rookie of the Year award, led the league in scoring three times, made the first team All-NBA roster three times and has now led his franchise to their first Finals appearance in over fifteen years. Before that, he was the first player to win the Naismith Award, college basketball's highest honor, and was drafted second overall in the 2007 Draft. Jordan went third in ’84.


The Durantula has already solidified himself in the NBA circles as the poster child for everything that is right with the league. He announced his re-signing with the small market Thunder humbly via Twitter. He toured the country, dominating street ball games while the rest of his colleagues played videogames and moped about the lockout. He never criticizes teammates, officials or opponents. He takes, and makes, the last shot, then goes over to hug his mother. He’s the guy fathers want their daughters to date. In 2012, he is basketball.

To compare this young man to anyone is not only unnecessary, but it’s also unfair. The ink from the first chapter of Durant’s basketball story hasn't even dried yet, and when it’s all said and done, you can bet on it being a bestseller.

So would I say he’s the next Jordan? Not in a million years. He’s the first Kevin, and that’s exactly the way it should be.

-fresh (@danye33