Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Definitive Superhero Power Rankings (Pt. 1)


Hello Weavers, is it Miggs you're looking for?

It's been a while (lead singer for Staind voice), but I’m back with a brand new double feature article. As you may remember, I'm somewhat of a superhero geek. But I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I wore a Spiderman outfit during my senior prom and lost my virginity painted green and wearing purple shorts because although that would have been awesome, it didn't happen that way. I'm just a guy who appreciates a good unrealistic superhero jaunt. People don't realize that superhero movies are a relatively young medium and only in the past five years have we seen a real jump into serious film making. Unlike your typical flick, all of these movies have a main character whose name doubles as the title of the movie. This puts a tremendous amount of pressure on the character and actor to deliver, because no one wants to be the next Jonah Hex. 

I decided to power rank my superheroes using some of the following traits- 
  • The success of their film- were they were able to carry a movie franchise on their back? 
  • Was the character popular before they took it over or after they took it over? Basically, if they reinvented the way the character is viewed in the ethos.
  • Did they change the way that that character is going to be played in future reincarnations of the film? 
So without further ado, here are my top ten superhero power rankings.


10) Hit girl- Kick Ass (2010)- Chloe Grace Moretz

At the time, this was a pretty unknown graphic novel among the general public. It's a pretty generic superheroes' tale of how a young, unspecial man, tries to fight crime, gets beat up and hit by car, loses his ability to feel pain, and becomes a real super hero. Through his miss-adventures he meets a daddy daughter crime fighting team that actually gets shit done. This is where we are introduced to Moretz, aka Hit-Girl. She is the wise cracking ass-kicking Robin-like figure that pretty much steals the movie. The character itself is pretty bad-ass, after losing her mother, her cop father dedicates both of their lives to fighting crime under vigilante alias. In the end Hit-Girl must continue her mission even after the death of her father, and become a crime fighting wonderkid all by herself. The movie did well enough to warrant a sequel that will be coming out later this year with Chloe playing a much bigger role. If this franchise grows in its next installment, expect Hit-girl to be a big reason why. She's only 16 and is already being mentioned as one of Hollywood’s next big up and comers, and Hit-Girl is a big reason why.


9) Hulk- The Avengers (2012)- Mark Ruffalo

Right off the bat, the simple fact that in a movie starring pretty much every major Marvel character this guy stood out to me, says a lot. All the other characters in The Avengers had the luxury of building their character in a self titled film before it was made. Ruffalo had the handicap of taking a character that was butchered by one movie and pretty lack luster in another. But despite those odds against him I left that movie thinking to myself "wow, that dude Ruffalo gave me a Hulk sized nerd boner". 

He did such a good job in The Avengers that rumor has it Marvel may be rushing to get a singular Hulk film done before Mark ages out of the role. Hulk SMASH!!!!!! 


8) Blade- (1998-2004)- Wesley Pipes

Kind of a curveball here, because people don't really associate Blade as being a superhero movie, but it is. Despite being an R-rated comic book movie before films like 300 and Sin-city made it the cool thing to do, this movie still sunk its teeth into the box office three separate times. I wouldn't consider any of these films instant classics but if you're looking for a good action/True Blood/superhero combo movie this one would have to be at the top of the list. Extra points for being on the vampire bandwagon before the tweens took it over for good. If you say Wesley Snipes wasn't that great and was a weak attempt at a vampire, just compare his bad assery to Edward Cullen and get back to me.

Disclaimer: the CGI doesn't really hold up to today’s standards, but at least Jessica Biel is in the third one.


7) Superman- (1978-1987)- Christopher Reeves

This is the man who started it all. Christopher Reeves is known and will always be known as Superman. I mean, aside from a handful of Eminem references can you honestly name anything else he was in? It was the first big superhero movie success and spawned multiple sequels including one that co-starred Richard Pryor. Many still consider the sequel to be one of the best superhero movies of all time, and the guy is hanging by wires the whole time. Reeves' flies everywhere and shoots lasers out of his eyes, all pre-CGI, and it still holds up to this day. When I think of Superman I picture Christopher Reeves in that blue suit flying around the Earth so fast that he stops and spins back time, something I thought was completely possible til like last week. 


6) Rorshach- (2009) Watchmen- Jackie Earle Haley
    
Rorshach is probably the hardest hero to love on this list. He's aggressive, has a short temper, and his mask his super creepy, though he does have the luxury of having some of the best source material to base his character on. Rorshach isn't the leader, and he isn't all that charismatic. Yet you find yourself wishing more superheroes acted like him. They find the moral wrong and squash it, no ifs, and's or mutilation about it. He's a bad man that gets to the bottom of the entire mess that is caused in the Watchmen. No one follows his lead, but they should. So what if he's like 85% crazy? That’s how good Jackie Earle, who always plays these creepy type characters (including the new Freddy Kruger) is. Somehow, through all the creepiness, I still end up siding with him. Very strong performance.

This concludes our first half of Superhero Power Rankings. Come back next time as I break down the final five and reveal who I think is on top of the Superhero world....

FOR NOW... MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA MWUAHAHAHAHA

-Miggs (@NickMiggs)

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