Thursday, July 18, 2013

Comedians Rewrite Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" So That It's Finally Ironic



Alanis Morissette burst onto the music scene in the 1990's with one hand in her pocket and the other firmly planted atop the Billboard music charts. Her 1995 album Jagged Little Pill featured a slew of singles including "Head Over Feet", "You Learn" and "You Oughta Know", the latter being an ode to her relationship with Full House's Uncle Joey. The fourth single off that album, "Ironic", was ironic for the fact that none of the situations that occur in the song were actual examples of irony. A more appropriate title for the track might have been "Bummer."

But regardless of whether or not Morissette's failed attempt at irony was intentional or not, Eliza and Rachel Hurwitz have created there own remix of the song, nearly two decades later, to set the record straight. Feel free to read along from the lyrics below as the song plays.

An old man turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day
from a sever paper cut from his lottery ticket
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
that was specifically purchased to repel black flies
It's a death row pardon that causes your demise,
because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus
And that really is ironic
We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)

It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
And who would've thought, it figures!

Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to drive,
Instead he packed his suitcase and got ready to fly
He wasted his whole damn life being afraid of cars
But as the plane crashed down, he thought, well isn't this nice?
And that really is ironic

We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)

It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
And who would've thought, it figures!

We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you
When you think your irony is okay and the examples in your song are right
We've got an editorial way of helping you out when your song
About irony is wrong and everyone says it to your face

A traffic jam causes you to leave early,
But you rush and get in a crash, which causes you to be late
A no-smoking sign you hung up when you quit,
Now you started again but can't smoke 'cause of the sign

It's like ten thousand spoons you bought with your only knife
Now all you need is a knife, but you only have spoons!
It's meeting the man of your dreams...
And meeting his beautiful wife at couples therapy

And that really is ironic, don't you think?
Finally ironic, and yeah we really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
Our changes make it so your song makes sense
Who would've thought, it figures!


-fresh (@danye33)

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