Friday, July 12, 2013

The Definitive Superhero Power Ranking (Pt. 2)

 

If you missed Part 1 of Migg's Superhero Rower Rankings, click here

5) Batman- (2005-2012) Christian Bale

Put away your batarangs and hear me out for a second. You ask 100 people what was a better Batman movie, 8 out of 10 will probably say the Dark Knight trilogy, and for the most part they are absolutely correct. The movies as a whole are better, but let’s be real, what sold those movies was the dark take on them helmed by Chris Nolan and the villains (namely, Heath Ledger). The film’s success cannot be understated, it’s one of the biggest movie franchises of all time and they basically got there through terrible circumstances. The first one was a decent success but breathed life in what seemed like a dead character post-George Clooney nipple batman. So let’s give thanks to Bales grittier take on what in recent years had become a campy joke. The second film was a huge success but thanks mostly to The Joker who basically gave his life for the film. The third film had to deal with a national tragedy based around the opening weekend of the film and still made major dough and gave a decent end to a fantastic trilogy (Ed Note: That's not what you said last year). All these are validate Bale's seat at the table, but I'll tell you what, there's still another Batman on this list yet to come.


4) Spiderman (2002-2007) Toby Maguire

Swinging in at #4 is your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, played by Toby Maguire. He gets points for being the first incarnation on film of Spidey. The first two films are instant classics among superhero nerds. Toby captures the innocence of being a teenage superhero but also the wise ass attitude that I loved so much about Spiderman in the comic books. Watching it in theaters as a cherub faced 12 year old, I couldn't help but think "wow, this is what a comic book movie should be like." So many classic moments, Uncle Ben dying, BONE SAW ISSSS READYYYYY and an upside down kiss that actually kind of turned Kirsten Dunst into a hot commodity, most likely because of the wet t-shirt, but she was pretty good in the movie anyway. The second and third films pale in comparison, but Toby will always have a web attached to my heart.


3) Wolverine (2000-The Future) Hugh Jackman

Ok, I understand that not every X-men movie has been that good. Heck, the best one they've made only features Wolverine telling Magneto and Dr. Xavier to fuck off. But the thing is this guy has longevity. He has been the only incarnation of one of comic book cultures most revered characters, and has been doing it for 13 years. It’s amazing that he plays a man who does not age and is ripped to shreds and has looked the same for all the movies he's been in. It makes me think that Hugh might be a super human in real life, because not gonna lie, I saw Le Mis (Ed Note) and this guy can sing too. So even if they decided to make an X-men spin-off-musical, no one is going to take the claws from this guy anytime soon. With the release of the second solo titled Wolverine movie ( The Wolverine) and the upcoming release of the next X-men movie (X-men Days of Future Past) it will mark his 8th time acting as the Berserker Bub. Amazing, he has played Wolverine in a major motion picture more times than I’ve been to the gym in the past year. 


2) Batman (1989-1992) Michael Keaton

Yes!! That’s right, I said it- Michael Keaton is the best Batman of all-time! Now, after all you nerds take a puff of you inhaler and listen to me for a second I'll give my reasons. Who even cared about batman before 1989? It was a campy (yet wonderful) TV show from the 60's and an aged comic book that people thought was sucked dry of possibilities. That all changed when Mr. Mom donned the Cowl. He was just enough of a dick playboy to capture Bruce Wayne and was able to be badass enough to take on the likes of Jack Nicholson and Danny Devito. Look at the incarnations of Batman before Keaton took on the role. The look of every Batman changed to the dark brooding character that he has become. Even the actors adopted what Keaton laid down in his version by being a millionaire with a hint of cockiness, and then the grizzled voice he speaks in when he is the Caped Crusader. Trust me re-watch those original Batman movies and you will see you prefer Keaton to any other batman before and after him. POW!!!!


1) Ironman (2008-Forever) Robert Downey Jr. 

RDJ straight kills it and you know it. There is no argument here, RDJ is Tony Stark, who is Iron Man. I wouldn't be surprised if he has an actually working suit at home. He has it all, every category is basically checked when you look at Ironman. Major financial success, multiple successful follow ups, he was the first incarnation, he will forever be connected to this character and I feel bad for the poor bastard who has succeed him in this role. He basically single handedly created a mega world of Marvel Superheroes that we now get to enjoy on film. Meaning if it wasn't for the success of Iron Man, there would be no Avengers, no Thor, nor Cap.  Nobody. We should all bow to RDJ's power as the best super hero of all time. 

Iron man was kind of a forgotten character in the Marvel Universe to the point where people were befuddled when they announced they were making it into a blockbuster film. Flash forward a short six years later and we are signed up for at least three more installments of seeing Tony kick ass and drink martinis. It is kind of a dream scenario and makes you think RDJ was born to be Ironman. Downey Jr. had wealth and grew up a child actor before falling into hard drugs and becoming the butt of many a Lindsey Lohan-esque jokes in the 90's. 

Then he figured his shit out, gets cast as Iron Man and fulfills his lifelong destiny of playing the baddest MFer in comic book history. Iron Man was an over privileged rich kid who had his own substance abuse problems, until he eventually figured out how to build "the suit" and then became the hero the world needed....and gosh darnit we need RDJ to be Ironman forever. Hopefully with the help of CGI and plastic surgery he will never age out of the role.

So there it is folks, that's my definitive list of Superheroes. Thanks to the success of these characters mentioned above, we will have many more opportunities to add to this list as we we're introduced to new characters each summer. I think the next step for actors to be recognized for their efforts as superheroes is for one to be nominated, or dare say win, an Oscar. 

Do I think it’s logical? No. But we're talking about made up characters after all, so who knows...

-Miggs (@NickMiggs)

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