Sunday, November 17, 2013

Homeless in T-13 Day- It's Your Week 11 NFL Picks Column

On Tuesday I was greeted with this gem of an e-mail from my soon-to-be ex-landlord. Basically kicked us to the curb via e-mail with no reasoning, leaving my girlfriend and I with slightly more than two and a half weeks (one of which being Thanksgiving) to find a new spot. I've also been sick as a dog and even had to miss some time from work because of it so I apologize for the delayed column, but in the immortal words of Martin Lawrence: 

click to enlarge
I regret to inform you that I will need to take back the apartment permanently at the end of this month.  Please plan on removing all belongings and vacating the premises by Saturday, November 30, 2013 at 5:00 p.m.

I will cancel cable before the 30th and let you know where and when to return the boxes.  I trust you will deliver the apartment in the original state in which it was given to you.  Thanks.
(number redirected)
A few things to address here- first, this guy must be out of his goddamn mind if he thinks that cable box is getting delivered anywhere other than the bottom of the East River. Second, I have zero respect for any man who shares a joint e-mail account with his wife. Grow a spine will ya? Any lastly- does anyone have any room on their couch for the kid?

2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (3-7) Jets +1 in the Ruff Tuff Buff

This is completely a gut call but I just think New York will be able to chew up the clock with their running game and limit the turnovers in what is sure to be a windy one at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Mind you this is the Jets, a team that'll upset a Super Bowl contender one week and then get Mercy ruled the next, but I feel pretty good about this one. Kellen Clemons stopped the bleeding for me last week, and I'm banking on another shitty QB to keep the mojo flowing this time around. 

And now, the picks!
The King's Throne
Keytwitty (26-24)  NYG -5, NYJ +1, S.D. -1.5, Det -2, Car -2.5

Watch The Throne 
Danye (23-26-1)   Det -2, N.O. -3, N.E. +2.5, S.D. -1.5, NYJ +1

Dough Boy (23-27)  Oak +7, N.E. +2.5, Indy -3, Det -2, S.D. -1.5

Chooch (22-28)   Jax +7, N.O. -3, NYJ +1, S.D. -1.5, Pitt +2

Cambo (21-27-2) K.C. +8, Cincy -6, Det -2, S.D. -1.5, Ari -7

Gary (21-28-1) NYJ +1, S.D. -1.5, Indy -3, Cle +6, Det -2

J Fonts (20-29-1)  Tenn +3, T.B. +1.5, Jax +7, Mia +1.5, Pitt +2

Miggs (17-32-1)  Philly -3.5, Cle +6, NYJ +1, N.O. -3, NYG -5

The Mush
Flem (16-31-3) Indy -3, NYJ +1, S.D. -1.5, G.B. +5, Det -2

Obscure Gif of the Week / Jacked Chick 

Bonus Gif of the Week / Slow Mo Face Melt 

Babe of the Week / Need A Pick-Me-Up So We're Going With Old Faithful 

Random YouTube Video Of The Week That Has Nothing To Do With Football / Barenaked Ladies "The Old Apartment"

This one hits a little too close to home...

-fresh (@danye33)

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