Monday, November 18, 2013

Unverified Study Finds Birth Control May Increase Women's Chances Of Going Blind


(Foxnews) Women who use birth control pills for three years or longer could have an increased risk of developing glaucoma, one of the leading causes of blindness, DailyRx News reported.

In a study presented at the 117th Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Ophthalmology, researchers examined data from more than 3,400 women aged 40 and older in the United States, who had completed questionnaires regarding their reproductive care and eye health.

Overall, women who took the pill for three years or more had double the risk of developing glaucoma, compared to women who used the pill for a shorter period of time or who never used the pill at all.

"We believe at this point, by analyzing the data, there is an association between long-term birth control use and glaucoma," study author Elaine Wang, of Duke University, told CNN. "Why? We're not sure. The next step is to examine the eyes carefully and look at exactly what is happening to a woman's vision when she's on birth control pills.We need to verify these findings."

Thank God for the last sentence in this article. I was reading this in a cold sweat with my teeth clenched. The pill, the single greatest invention of the last century (in my opinion), increases your risk of going blind. This wonder pill that lets you rawdog your girlfriend without getting her pregnant and (sometimes) makes her boobs bigger might also make her blind like Billy in 4C? 

Monogamous boyfriends everywhere started getting anti-boners. All of a sudden that becomes a much tougher sell to the gf."Here honey take this because the biggest perk of this relationship is that I don't have to use condoms anymore. No pressure but our relationship kinda hinges on you medicating yourself. Also, and this really isn't THAT big of a deal BUT it might make you go blind. Love you!"

But then there's that breath of fresh air, that beam of light at the end. "We need to verify these findings" It's inconclusive! Unconfirmed! Of course it is! What do these pseudo docs know anyway? Buncha science nerds if you ask me. Huzzah! We did it! Set that cell phone alarm, babe. Can't afford to miss a day.


-Joe Turner (@Joe_Turner00)

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