No rants today, just a shameless plug for our Midseason Fantasy Football Awards column and a big ole shoutout to Pleasantville High School for winning the Section One football title for the first time in more than twenty years!
2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (2-6) Saints -5.5 at NYJ
Look, the Jets have been my kryptonite this year. In my big money keeper league in consecutive weeks I made the mistakes of dropping Harry Douglas instead of Bilal Powel, and then after Chris Ivory's 34 carry game verse the Patriots (which I also Anto-Lock failed in this column) I dropped Andre Ellington for him just days before his 25 point coming out party against Atlanta. I seriously am at a loss for trying to understand how things work in that organization. It's like they waste every ounce of energy, intelligence and effort the two times they play New England, and then go and lose to the Bengals by 40. If Breesus can't beat them by more than a touchdown I quit.
And now, the picks!
The King's Throne
Keytwitty (21-19) K.C. -3, N.O. -5.5, Wash, Oak -1, Bal -2.5
Watch The Throne
Dough Boy (20-20) Wash, Ten -3, Cin -2.5, Indy -2.5, Atl +7.5
Chooch (20-20) Dal -10.5, N.O. -5.5, St. Lou +3, Bal -2.5, G.B. -11
Danye (16-23-1) N.O. -5.5, Chi +11, Min +10.5, Ten -3, K.C. -3
J Fonts (16-23-1) Cin -2.5, N.O. -5.5, St. Lou +3, SD, Indy -2.5
Cambo (15-23-2) Oak -1, Indy -2.5, N.E. -6.5, K.C. -3, N.O. -5.5
Gary (15-24-1) Cin -2.5, N.O. -5.5, Indy -2.5, Cle +2.5, K.C. -3
Flem (13-24-3) Cin -2.5, Ten -3, K.C. -3, Philly +1, Bal -2.5
Miggs (13-26-1) Mia +2.5, Bal -2.5, Oak -1, N.O. -5.5, K.C. -3
Obscure Gif of the Week / Kid in wheelchair hit by long distance cake to the face
Bonus Gif / Just a guy and a girl jumping rope together NBD
Babe of the Week / Kelly Brook, aka the reason some British dude's wife left him
Random YouTube Video Of The Week That Has Nothing To Do With Football / Street Snowboarding
Halloween Costume I Wish I Was Creative Enough To Come Up With- Bud Lightyear
Gametime Drug For Justin Blackmon To Wallow In His Sorrows With- Time Bomb Blunt
Chief Keef "Locked 'N Loaded" Fantasy Player To Watch For
"So after a long night of snortin, sniffin, I got like three-four girls all lined up to put day mouf on it. Daiquiri, D'quisha, Marla and Brandi just switching off and waiting for they turn to grab the joystick. This shit ain't nothing new for me, so I just close my eyes and hit the L. Next thing I know I hear my boy Big Ugly say to himself "Man, I would kill a kitten for some head right now." Every muhfucker in the room stopped what theys doing to look at the poor bastard before bursting out laughing. Ever since that day we done called him "would head". So yea, Danny Woodhead it is."