Friday, December 13, 2013

Week 15 NFL Picks Column

possible cover photo?

Listen up everybody, I know excuses are like assholes, but I just need to address something real quick. So I moved into my apartment Thanksgiving weekend and had a date with the devil (installation appointment with Time Warner) scheduled for December 4th. Now when I first moved in I noticed that there was no visible cable wire, but Caesar, the super, assured me that it wouldn't be a problem so I really didn't think much of it.

Fast forward to the Time Warner appointment and now I'm shit out of luck because the dude says he's going to have to reach out to a different set of engineers to run a cable from the box in the hallway, through a hole that they're going to have to cut into my apartment. He was friendly so I didn't rage out or anything and he gives me his bosses e-mail address and tells me I'll be hearing back from them the following day to set up another date.

Obviously I never hear back from them and my three e-mails to go unanswered. I finally get in touch with a representative at the end of that week who tells me that they scheduled a new set-up date (without my approval) for December 17th between NINE AM AND SEVEN PM!!!! Which is totally fine because its not like I have anything better to do than sit in a internetless apartment for ten hours.

Then I get another phone call from them this week saying that the aforementioned December 17th appointment is just to run the necessary wires into my apartment, but the actual internet hook up won't go down until the following day on the 18th.

So long story short I've been without internet going on three weeks now and it's pretty much affected every facet of my life (blogging, fantasy football, masturbation, etc.) and I'm about to reach my breaking my point.

It really bums me out too because I take a lot of pride in this site, and especially in these weekly picks columns, but I just haven't had the access to make the magic happen.

I appreciate you (the readers) sticking with me, and promise to bring the heat once I finally start seeing wi-fi bars in my apartment.

As always, fuck Time Warner.

2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (4-10) Shaguars +2 vs the dolla dolla Bills

Don't look now but the Jags are tied for the second longest winning streak in the NFL. The sad thing is, if this team didn't play Blane Gabbert at the beginning of the season they might very well be in the playoff hunt!
The Bills are a horrendous football team and have no business laying points to anybody. You can pay off your mortgage with this bet.

The King's Throne
Keytwitty (38-31-1)  Wash +6, Jax +2, Az -2.5, Chi +1.5, Sea -7

Watch The Throne 
Chooch (34-35-1)   (needs to submit picks)

Cambo (30-37-3)  K.C. -4, Jax +2, Philly -4.5, S.F. -5.5, Sea -7  

J Fonts (30-37-3)  Philly -4.5, N.O -5.5, Car -11, Pitt -3, T.B. +5.5

Miggs (30-38-2)  K.C. -4, Ten +2.5, Jax +2, Mia +2.5, T.B. +5.5

Danye (29-38-3)   K.C. -4, N.O -5.5, N.E. -2.5, Jax +2, Philly -4.5 

Dough Boy (28-40-2)  S.F. -5.5, Chi +1.5, Indy -6, Bal +6, N.O. -5.5
Flem (25-40-5)  S.F. -5.5, Ari -2.5, N.O. -5.5, Philly -4.5, K.C. -4

The Mush
Gary (25-42-3)   Az- 2.5, Jax +2, N.O -5.5, Sea -7, Indy -6

Obscure Gif of the Week / Birthday Cake Fail

Bonus Gif of the Week / The Biebs Getting Lit Up On "CSI"

ah, happier times

Random YouTube Video Of The Week That Has Nothing To Do With Football / Hockey Player Makes Little Kid's Day

Babe Of The Week- Kristen Bell

Chief Keef "Locked 'N Loaded" Fantasy Player To Watch For

Chris Ivory, RB, Jets

"This shit kinda crazy for me to say in a public forum, but I think its time I come clean... I'm wifed up. Fell hard for my main thang Ashley. She a down ass chick, always quick to slurp a nut, or hide the burner, so I made her my Bonnie. She's a white girl that likes that white girl so we been having fun, but when I'm on tour I be missing her like crazy. After shows lately I just been smoking some dabs and firing up the ebony and ivory porn on the ipad. Makes daddy feel right at home, so yea, start Chris Ivory this week for the playoffs."

-fresh (@danye33)

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