Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I Met Rapper White Nawty At McDonalds At 4 am. Check Out His Tribute (?) Tat To Howard Stern

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I just got back from accompanying a co-worker on a 4 am pilgrimage to Micky D's for some coffee. While waiting in line I encountered one of the most bizarre characters I've ever met in my entire life.

His rap name is White Nawty, though he told me he's in the process of getting that changed to The White Nagger (a play on words from the popular South Park sketch). During our brief convo I learned a few interesting tidbits from this strange fellow.

  • He's part of a rap posse up in Harlem
  • His goal is to appear on the Howard Stern Show, get his video (embedded above) to go viral and "not work another day in my life"
  • He allegedly went to high school with Weird Al Vankovic
  • DDP Yoga once helped a man lose one hundred pounds and gain the ability walk again after a "lying" doctor told him he would be unable to do so 
  • He ordered a hot fudge sundae (respect the hell out of that move) but was told the machine was out of order
  • I forget what he ended up ordering, but paid using three crumpled up singles and asked the cashier "if the upstairs seating area had ketchup?"
And just like that, in the bite of a french fry, he was gone into the abyss. So many questions left unanswered, but none bigger than "Will Howard Stern ever suck his black balls?". 

The world may never know. 

-fresh (@danye33)

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