Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Dan Le Batard Eviscerates The State of Indiana In His Latest Rant

Without a doubt the greatest thing to come from the Heat's dynasty has been Dan Le Batard's epic rants following the team's numerous playoff series wins (11 in a row for those of you counting along at home). The Heat knocked off the Pacers in game 6 Friday night in Miami, prompting Dan to go all 300 bars and runnin' on the state of Indiana. He thew 10 straight minutes worth of jabs (including a special cameo from Heat grandma) and proved once again that his job is more fun than yours.

Below are my ten favorite one liners from his latest installment.

Rashard Lewis is the black Mike Miller!!!!


Stugotz what do you call a beautiful person in Indiana? A visitor!!

You blow in our ear...We'll snort blow off your rear!!!

The Indianapolis 500 isn't a race, the Indianapolis 500 is your basketball team's record since the All-Star break!!!!

More than one hundred species of trees are native to Indiana, and Michael Beasley finna smoke all of them.

Indiana's football owner gets arrested with $29,000 in a briefcase and drugs in a laundry bag. You call that a scandal, we call that a MONDAY!

Game 7's and Paul George's internet girlfriend have something in common- neither of them actually exist!! They are fantasy... and one of them is a dude!!

You have cities named French Lick and South Bend.... We have strip clubs that offer the French Lick AND the South Bend!

Paul George's house was burglarized. Found missing- $16,000, an All-Star ring, a Flex watch, a pair of Air Jordan 4 Toro's... AND ROY HIBBERT!!!!

-fresh (@danye33)

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