Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Pete Walsh's Hip-Hop State of The Union Address

After reading my friend, and fellow 2 Man Weave co-founder, Peter Walsh's article yesterday on Red Cafe and the state of "teams" in hip-hop for SLAM Online, I couldn't help but come up with some questions for the rap guru to bring us up to speed on the forever changing rap game. The following interview took place over a series of e-mails.

How would you rank the crews in hip hop right now? 

Pete: As far as ranking crews, it's almost a moot point right now. There are no traditional "crews" that we're prevalent during the early '00s (DipSet, G-Unit, etc...) So it's almost impossible to develop some sort of ranking system. Plus, beef is more or less dead (think about it, the biggest 'beef' this year has been Drake / Common, which most likely ended in a pillow fight) so most artists are working together, which is both good and bad. Good because it creates interesting dynamics and fusion of sounds, bad because it has ended competition. When Jay and Nas were battling, it created a serious debate about who the "King of New York" is. Today, all rappers are scared to take that position and fight for it, well, except Papoose. (Wrote this shit a while ago touching on all that.) 

Actually, now that I'm thinking  about it MMG (Ross, Wale, Meek Millz) probably have the strongest crew right now. Can't believe the jump Ross has made, if you told me he would be this big after "Hustlin'" I would have never believed it. But, he has the game in a headlock right now and it's because of his consistency. Dude is the only rapper to survive a 50 Cent beef and it actually propelled his career. He is proven fraud, but all of that gets swept under the rug because he makes solid music.

What about Kanye West and the guys over at G.O.O.D. Music, any chance that they make a run for the top? 

Pete: G.O.O.D. music will never hold that spot cuz Kanye would never let anyone (Pusha T) be better than him, something he undoubtedly learned from Hov. Look at the early Roc-a-Fella days, so many talented artists who just faded into obscurity. 

Can Young Money be taken seriously?

Pete:  Depends on your variation of serious. Drake / Nicki / Lil Wayne have all gone platinum over the last year, so as far as reach and appeal, absolutely. Nicki is about to make that leap to full fledged pop star a la Katy Perry / Madonna / etc... which will only strengthen their appeal. Musically, I don't really mess with them but they have arguably the three biggest stars in music today so they're not going away anytime soon.  

What are some of the up and coming, non-mainstream crews you've been listening to lately?

Pete: Crews out there that aren't necessarily mainstream that I am a fan of are the ASAP crew and the Black Hippy movement. ASAP is riding strong with ASAP Rocky who is their current solo act. Their visuals are awesome and the mixtape they came out with last October still gets knocked on the regular. They got a million dollar plus deal just on the strength of those two music videos. Dudes are from Harlem so they definitely have that brash style in the same vein as the Dips, will definitely be hearing a lot from them over the next year. 

Black Hippy are 4 dudes from L.A. who can all spit. It's Kendrick Lamar, Schoolboy Q, Ab-Soul and Jay Rock. Kendrick has been making a lot of noise over the last year--and for good reason, dude can really rap. Schoolboy Q is good too, a lot more hardcore and fucks heavily with ASAP. Expect to hear a lot from them as well. 

I'm really fucking with this dude Action Bronson. Just peep his debut "Dr. Lecter" and all his youtube videos--guy is insane and can rap his ass off. 

With the advancement of the internet it's become easier to make a name for yourself and build a fan base all on your own. Do you think that being "independent" as a young rapper is the move these days?

Pete: Independent is definitely the way to go. All rappers should follow the Wiz Khalifa / Mac Miller model. Build your fan base, drop solid releases, tour endlessly and then when you're about to peak, sign to a major and get paid. I don't know why anyone would do it differently.

Follow Pete on Twitter (@goinginsquad)

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Looks Like Sweetney Found His Sweet-Tooth

While other power forwards from the 2003 NBA draft such as David West, Kendrick Perkins and Nick Collison are gearing up for playoff runs, Mike Sweetney, a one-time All American from the University of Georgetown, has been putting his car in gear for the drive thru.  Sweetney, the #9 pick in the famed “LeBron draft” , never panned out in the NBA, last appearing in a game in 2006.  But now it appears he’s back and better bigger than ever.  The 6’8 "round, mound of refills" signed a deal in January with the Vaqueros de Bayamon of the BSN, Puerto Rico’s basketball league. This happens to be the very same league that Robert “Tractor” Traylor played in before dying from a heart attack last May. 

I hate to state the obvious comparison here, but if Mike doesn’t switch up his eating habits/workout regime, he could potentially face the same fate that took another former lottery busts life. As a Georgetown fan, and more importantly a basketball fan, I hope the big guy can pull it together before it's too late. 

 -fresh (@danye33)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Don't Forget To Vote For The Best Sports Movie Ever!

What are you waiting for?!! Go vote for the Best Sports Movie of All-Time over on the 2 Man Weave's Facebook fan page. Polls close at 5 pm on Thursday, March 1st.

The Nominees are Rocky IV, The Sandlot, D2: The Mighty Ducks Are Back, Remember The Tight Ones Titans, Space Jam and Happy Gilmore.


Friday, February 24, 2012

Vince Carter At The 2000 Dunk Contest Taking You Into The Weekend

Sure there have been other performances at the Slam Dunk contest that were arguably more impressive than when Vinsanity tore the roof off the building in Golden State, but I'll never forget the feeling I got watching that particular one as an 11 year old in my family's living room.  First time I ever saw a man fly.

Jimmy Fallon Signs "Jeremy (Lin)" As Eddie Vedder

Jimmy Fallon has been bringing the heat on stage for years now. I remember back in 2001 when I saw him open up for Blink-182 at Jones Beach and he absolutely killed with his comedy songs.  He did this amazing troll rendition where he would just sign classic songs but make the lyrics about this Troll doll that he had on stage with him. Also loved his 80's Medley and the History of Rap with JT, so basically nothing he does surprises me in terms of recognizing his talent.

But with that being said, the dude was spot on Vedder right there. The look, the darkness, the tone just everything executed to perfection. Lyrics may have been "ehh", but you certainly can't knock the hustle. Especially loved the line about turning down Kim Kardashian. Solid stuff right here.

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

2012 MLB Power Rankings (Part 2)

In case you missed Part 1 of The 2 Man Weave's MLB Power Ranking, click here

20. Pittsburgh Pirates- The Pirates were one of the all-around worst teams statistically last season, but with young talents scattered throughout their lineup, the potential is certainly there for the Pirates offense to become a viable threat in 2012. Thus far they haven’t been able to put it together but the experience is starting to accumulate for players like Jose Tabata and Andrew McCutchen, who enter their 3rd and 4th years respectively. With a solid bullpen and All-Star closer, Joel Hanrahan, the Pirates starting five could be the key their success this season. Adding Erik Bedard this offseason could prove valuable if he is able to stay healthy and he gives them a good starting lefty to replace Paul Maholm. If James MacDonald and Charlie Morton can improve their ERA at the top of the rotation, the Pirates would offer a competitive starting five and a team that could surprise people this season.

19. Los Angeles Dodgers- The Dodger's head into the 2012 campaign owner-less, but not all is bad in the city of angels. They possess two of the best young talents in the league in Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp. The Dodgers struggled getting runners across the plate last season and didn’t get Kemp any help this offseason. They’ll look to rely heavily on veterans James Loney and Andre Ethier to provide protection for their franchise slugger. Fortunately, the Dodgers pitching staff, led by CY Young winner Clayton Kershaw, dominated, ranking in the upper echelon of all the significant pitching categories. By replacing Hiroki Kuroda with Aaron Harang and adding Chris Capuano, the Dodgers will have a well-rounded rotation in 2012. One question mark will be Kenley Jansen and his ability to be the full time closer. Having said all that, I don’t see Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw putting up those kinds of ridiculous numbers again, and I don’t see the Dodgers making much noise this upcoming season, unless new ownership can make some moves, which has yet to be seen.

18. Kansas City Royals- Well, I must say I always thought of KC as a minor league team playing in the majors, but not anymore. Finally, the Royals appear ready to ascend from the bottom of the Central, possessing youthful talent all over the field. Particularly, the corner infielders Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustakas, appear to be the next big names to come out of the Royals farm system. With their talents along with Billy Butler and Alex Gordon, the Royals will have a surprisingly good lineup this season. Another strength of the team will be its defensive prowess, especially up the middle of the field from catcher Salvador Perez, to middle infielders Alcides Escobar and Johnny Giavotella, and center fielder Lorenzo Cain. The pitching staff got a big boost with the additions of Jonathan Sanchez and Jonathan Broxton. Lengthening the depth of their rotation to 3 viable starters along with Broxton in the 8th and Soria in the 9th the Royals will put out the best team they’ve had in quite some time. Ultimately, the question of will the Royals be able to keep this team in tact, and if that happens their return to prominence could only be a few short years away.

17. Cleveland Indians- The Indians were a surprise in 2011, remaining competitive through much off the season. Adding Ubaldo Jimenez mid season really showed the teams desire to win, although they ultimately came up short. Entering into 2012, the key concern for the Indians is health. Grady Sizemore and Shin-Soo Choo missed significant time last season coupled with injury prone Travis Hafner, they are the three keys to the Indians success. Also, I’m not completely sold on Asdrubal Cabrera who blew up last season with his power numbers. If he can prove that last season wasn’t a fluke and the rest of the lineup can remain healthy their offense will be dangerous. The Indians acquired Derek Lowe from the Braves this offseason, giving the Indians a solid trio with Jimenez and Masterson. With a shaky bullpen, Dan Wheeler should help but they still could use another arm in the pen. Ultimately, the Indians health will determine the success of their season.

16. Milwaukee Brewers- No more Prince Fielder. On top of that, Ryan Braun is suspended for the first 50 games. The Brewers will have a big void in the middle of that lineup until the beginning of June. Until then, they’ll have to rely heavily on Rickie Weeks, Corey Hart, and free agent addition Aramis Ramirez to fill those shoes. The losses won’t just affect the offense, with the likelihood of reduced run support will add pressure on the pitchers that could affect their performance. Yovani Gallardo, Zack Greinke, and Shaun Marcum will have to duplicate last year’s success to keep the team afloat while Braun serves out his suspension. If the pitching can keep this team alive until Braun returns than look for the Brewers to put up a fight in the NL Central.

15. Miami Marlins- The theme this year for the Marlins is new. They enter this season with a new name, new logo, new stadium, new coach, and most importantly new budget, which they were not shy in showing off. The Marlins were big players this offseason adding brand named players Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, Heath Bell and Carlos Zambrano. Coach Ozzie Guillen has certainly stepped into a nice situation. With these additions and young talents like Josh Johnson, Mike Stanton, and Hanley Ramirez already in place, the Marlins appear to have a bright future. If Han Ram and Jose are able to stay healthy and consistently get on base, Mike Stanton and Gaby Sanchez will have big years driving those two in. The Marlins have one of the best pitchers in all of baseball in Josh Johnson, adding innings-eater Mark Buehrle will help a weak bullpen stay fresh. Not to mention if Carlos Zambrano doesn’t go bat-shit-crazy and can pitch to even half of his ability, the Marlins will have a very respectable starting five. Unfortunately their bullpen is shaky and losing Leo Nunez will hurt. First year with a whole new team, chemistry could be a concern but the Marlins will certainly be a force to be reckoned with in the always competitive NL East.

14. San Francisco Giants- The Giants offense was anemic last season while their pitching reigned supreme. Top to bottom, the Giants possess the best starting rotation/bullpen combination in the league. Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain are the two aces at the top, to go along with Madison Bumgarner and Ryan Vogelslong. Don’t worry, once you get through the starters you only have to deal with Sergio Romo and “The Beard”, both of whom are lights out.

From one end of the spectrum to the other, enter the Giants offense. Last season, Pablo Sandoval had a bounce back year however with Aubrey Huff slumping and Buster Posey sidelined with the broken fibula, the Giants drove in an NL worst 570 runs, becoming only the second team to score less than 600 runs and post a winning record. Having Buster Posey back will help and if Aubrey Huff can return to form, the Giants will be contenders in the National League.

13. Toronto Blue Jays- The Blue Jays have arguably the most feared hitter in the game today in Jose Bautista. While the team was able to drive in plenty of runs, their lineup struggled getting on base consistently. The key this year will be if Adam Lind and company can provide protection for Jose Bautista, and if so, the Jays offense will be a major catalyst for them to play in October. On the other side, Ricky Romero is the clear ace in the rotation. After him, flamethrower Brandon Morrow has top stuff material but lacks the command necessary to be a star, and newcomer Henderson Alvarez has great command of his pitches but lacks blow away velocity and has a shaky slider. They revamped their bullpen this offseason adding Darren Oliver, Sergio Santos, Jason Frasor, and Francisco Cordero, and it appears the Jays have turned last seasons weakness into this years strength. At the end of the day, the AL East may be too much to overcome for the Jays, but they have the potential to make some noise this season.

12. Washington Nationals- Well, the fans in Washington haven’t had much to talk about sports wise outside of the Capitals in recent years so the you only imagine the buzz that's brewing in the capital city. Adding Gio Gonzalez and Edwin Jackson, along with a full season from Stephen Strasburg, will have the Nats rotation completely revamped. Throw in Jordan Zimmerman and you can now see the Nationals being able to match up with division rivals Atlanta and Philadelphia in the pitching department. The question will be can Ryan Zimmerman and Adam LaRoche stay healthy. You can count on Jayson Werth bouncing back this season, he is simply too good to play that bad again. Also, it will be interesting to see if Bryce Harper will make the team or be called up later in the season. Despite all these questions, I feel a big season coming out of the Nationals.

11. Arizona Diamondbacks- Kirk Gibson had the D-backs pull a 180 last season going from worst to first in just one season. A big part of their turnaround derived from breakout pitcher Ian Kennedy who recorded 21 wins, tied for first in the NL. Accompanying Kennedy, new addition Trevor Cahill along with Daniel Hudson give the Diamondbacks a trio to be feared. Complimenting them on the other side, their offense is explosive. With players like Justin Upton, Miguel, Montero, and Chris Young providing the power, the key will be Stephen Drew’s health as well as Aaron Hill returning to form. Jason Kubel was a nice pick up and it would appear that the D-backs offense will be dangerous again. The D-backs fortified their bullpen adding Craig Breslow and Takashi Saito giving them a solid bridge to closer J.J. Putz. Look for Arizona to take the NL West again this season, and with some playoff experience under their belt already, they will certainly have the ability to make another run at the title this year.


Joe is the 2 man weave's baseball aficionado

AI's Crossover Has Nothing On This Chick

That behind the back dribble, resulting in not two, but four, broken ankles, was pulled off by Chloe Rothman, a freshman point guard for Merrimack College. I haven’t seen a girl hit hardwood like that since Chris Brown threw Rihanna out of his car!

-Col. Mustard

I Want This George Washington Chicken McNugget So Bad I Can Taste It

(DMRA Nebraska woman is auctioning a McDonald’s Chicken McNugget that she believes resembles President George Washington. Rebekah Speights, of Dakota City, Neb., is selling the presidential McNugget on eBay to raise money for a church summer camp.A check of eBay on Wednesday shows one bid for $100. The auction ends next week. Speights says the Nugget almost became a snack during a visit to a Sioux City McDonald’s three years ago. Her children didn’t eat the chicken and she was about to toss it when she saw Washington’s resemblance. Speights stashed the McNugget in her freezer. Now says she’s selling it to raise money for the Sioux City Family Worship Center.

Hate all you want but I actually love this move for two reasons. One, I gave up fast food for 2012. That’s right, no Ronald, Wendy, The King or whatever mascot Taco Bell is using these days (possibly the Chihuahua?) for an entire calendar year. This, coming from a guy who at one point was known for routinely starting stories with “So this one time I was at Wendy’s right-“. It’s been a successful endeavor so far, but the thought of that frostbitten, G Dub nugget, did leave me temporarily salivating.

Another thing- she froze this puppy for three years before bringing it to auction this week, and as crazy as that sounds, I can level with Rebekah on that too. Because when my sister and I were young we used to do the same shit with super crazy long French fries from McDonald’s. We used to put them in a cup of water and then freeze those suckers. No real reason why either, and I have no idea what happened to them after the fact. I’m sure my parents would just wait until we went to sleep and them throw them out. I actually just opened up about the fact that I used to do this last weekend to my girlfriend and now this story comes along and smacks reality back into my face. Only difference between us is that I was a six year old child that didn’t know any better and she’s a grown ass woman freezing 1/4th of her happy meal. 

You have seven days left to bid on this American treasure, and it's currently going for the outrageous price $202.50. We will continue to monitor this item for you.

**UPDATE 2:28 pm** the nugget is up to $356.00

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Happy (Would Be) Fiftieth Birthday To The Crocodile Hunter

Today marks the 50th birthday of naturalist, zoologist, and TV personality Steve Irwin. I’m sure you can recall the media frenzy in early September of 2006 when it was reported that he was stabbed in the heart by a vigilante sting ray while filming the documentary Ocean’s Deadliest. Could you think of another way for one of the most bad ass dudes of all time to go out? Fuck no, you can’t. That’s why I’d just like to take a moment to share with you this song by one of my favorite bands, The Wonder Years, done in tribute to the late, great Crocodile Hunter. Even if you don’t like pop-punk, it’s worth a listen. I gotta go buy a 40 to pour out. CRIKEY!

P.S. Fuck sting rays.

-G Funk

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!! To Crown The Best Sports Movie Ever

Alright guys, you've stuck with us through six polls but we need your help for one more! This is what it all comes down to. This is why we play the game (watch the movie). As Harry from Home Alone would say- "It's the silver tuna". Below we have the winners from our basketball, football, hockey, boxing, baseball and "other sports" polls, so go get reacquainted with the nominees and help us determine once and for all, what is the Best Sports Movie ever. 

The Sandlot

This movie is everything right and beautiful about the game of baseball. The childhood experience is perfectly embodied as these kids lose themselves in a game without a care in the world. It’s an example of how simple life used to be. We didn’t care about cell phones, facebook status or what celebrity showed their cooch getting out of their BMW. It was simple and it simply was BASEBALL. Everybody had those days growing up where no matter what you were playing, you’d go out as soon as you woke up and before you know it was getting dark and you had to be home because mom was bringing KFC for dinner. Every time I watch it I can’t help but feel like wow, this may just be what heaven is like. So many classic scenes, like when the gang tried chewing tobacco for the first time and when Wendy Peffercorn got her Bo Derek on in that bathing suit. All the nicknames are priceless- Smalls, Benny the Jet, Squints Paladoris, Yea Yea, Ham Porter and the list goes on and on. This movie is a must own for me, like no matter what technology comes out I will always till the day I die, somehow own this movie. It’s tough to explain but I think if we could we would all want to have a sandlot of our own whatever it may be. I'll leave you with a quote that I'm sure you all are familiar with and that I think about to this day, and it drives me to strive for greatness in whatever I do. "Heroes are remembered, but legends never die."  (N.M)

Remember the Titans

This movie single handedly taught me everything I know about the civil rights movement and race relations during the 60's. I mean it left out the part of extreme bigotry, hate and violence, but hey, I got the gist of it. It’s an amazing (semi) true story about how one of the first integrated high schools in the south put together an amazing football team and reached the promised land by working together and settling their racial differences. Regardless of the true outcome of the team, this movie still gets you jacked up for the ultimate team sport, even with the cutesy Disney spin put on the entire movie to make it more dramatic. Here are some of the differences from Denzel’s team to the actual team.


Who can rightfully say that they have never mimicked or tried to mimic MJ's last second game winning dunk in this NBA/Looney Tunes crossover smash hit. MJ and the Looney Tunes vs. The Monstars, billed as the best game ever played in this Universe, this movie delivers time and time again like an ACME Bomb exploding in Wile E Coyotes face. Its star studded cast includes the likes of Larry Bird, Sir Charles, LJ, Mugsy Bouges, Danny Devito as a dick head alien, and Bill FUCKING Murray. Not only does this movie have a kick ass cast but also a timeless soundtrack with R.Kelly bringing down the house with I Believe I Can Fly.  Yes, R.Kelly was allowed to work on a children's movie, it was the nineties man. Anyway who knew Bill Murray could ball like that. Guy can straight dish the rock. This movie is imprinted into my subconscious.  No matter what I am doing at the time, if it shows up at 3 am on Stars or Encore or HBO 45 west, I will stop and watch the whole damn thing. I've tried the MJ's Secret Stuff trick on my friends, but it was with an alcoholic drink I made, and it was for us playing beer pong not basketball. This whole movie sums up its own greatness with one single exchange-

Bill Murray “The NBA needs guys with talent, guys who have talent but never really thought of a professional career. You think I got a shot." 

Micheal Jordan "No." 

Bill Murray "It's cause I'm White."

Micheal Jordan "Larry's white."

Bill Murray "Larry’s not White..... He's Clear"

Mighty Ducks 2

The quack attack came back with a sequel for the ages.  They added lovable newcomers like Julie “The cat” Gavin,  Bash Brother Dean Portman, Cowboy Dwayne Robertson, Ken Wu and the knuckle pucker- Russ Tyler.  The Ducks were inexplicably chosen to represent America in the Junior Goodwill games, where they faced off against the evil Iceland for the Gold.  Some highlights from this film include the gang roller blading through the Mall of American, the Bash Brother’s rocking out to BTO's “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”, The Iceland coach blatantly cheap shot Esteves in front of both teams yet no one came to defend his honor, the boys shopping for Bikini’s on Rodeo Drive and Team Trinidad’s iconic tie-dyed jerseys.  Vote for this movie if you love America. (D.C.)

Happy Gilmore

This movie actually features two different sports, hockey and golf. It's one of the funniest movies of all time, and the competitive duel that ensures between Shooter McGaven and Happy is unparalleled in sports today. Despite having star power, the role players in the movie are just as good. Be it the grandma, meestah meestah lady, Ben Stillar as the sociopath elderly home orderly, Chubbs or Jaws from Bond, everyone brought their "A" game for this 90's comedy. Such a balanced attack. Talk about a hole in one. (D.C.)

Rocky IV

The quarto installment that proves trilogies don’t always get it right.  While you can say the Clubber Lang installment is one of the lesser in the series, one cannot ignore the deplorable fifth film.  Tommy Gunn can suck nuts.  That being said, without the bitter the sweet just isn’t as sweet, right?  The gem that shines between the latter mentioned two turds is a beacon of hope in the darkness of growing communism.  Rocky 4 represents the 80’s zeitgeist which had everyone bleeding red, white and blue and screaming in orgasmic unison ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!  Rocky 4 redefined patriotism in film and thus redefined boxing films.  Between the line of propaganda and sentiment we root for Rocky harder this time.  Not just because he’s the proverbial horse to bet on, with that inspirational underdog story.  We root for him because were at war, and he’s the last, best hope for a peaceful victory before mutually assured destruction blows us all to kingdom come.  So raise a Budweiser, wear a flannel and relive the Reagan era as the Italian Stallion goes toe to toe with Ivan… America, fuck yeah. (-Z.S.)


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Baron Burns One Down After Knocking Down His First Three As A Knick

Well it’s good to see Baron’s using his veteran leadership to fill the void of “team stoner” left by Renaldo Balkman’s departure. Dude wets a try bomb and goes straight into puff puff (no) pass mode on his trot back down the court. With that being said I’m actually surprised at how slim he looked after going ten months without playing in an NBA game. At least his cheeba intake to munchies ratio is under control. Somebody do me a favor and cue up the Ben Harper! 

-fresh (@danye33)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Breaking Down The Top #rappersinmovietitles From Barstool Philly

In an attempt to find a name for his fantasy baseball team, Mo from Barstool Philly, came up with the hilarious idea/hashtag of #rappersinmovietitles. He brought some good ones to the table himself, but in the comment section was where the true gold laid.  So I took it upon myself to dig through to the dirt and break down what I thought were the Top 35 funniest movie titles. A good way to judge if a #rappersinmovietitles is funny or not is to see how long it takes you to laugh or "sip" (smile in public) after reading it. For example the The Drag-On one absolutely killed it for me because of how obscure a reference it was and because, well, you know, he's the opposite of h2o.

Feel free to take to the comment section to see if you can top these titles.

1. The Girl With The Drag-On Tattoo
2. KRS-One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
3. Cee Lo Green Street Hooligans
4. Coolio Hand Luke
5. The Wiz Khalifa of Oz
6. T.I. Know What You Did Last Summer
7. Texas Trey Songz Massacre
8. Ma$e Ventura 2: When Naughty By Nature Calls
9. Slumdog Chamillionaire
10. 2Chainz, Planes and Automobiles
11. A Requiem For The Dream
12. Don’t Tell Mims The Babysitter’s Dead
13. To Kill A Wacka Flocking Bird
14. Back to the Odd Future
15. Honey I Shrunk the Kid N Play
16. Look Who’s Talking 2-pac
17. Mos Definitely, Maybe
18. Ja Rules of Engagement
19. LL Cool J Runnings
20. Suge Knight at the Museum
21. E-40-year-Old Virgin
22. The Hunt for RedMan October
23. Method Man on Wire
24. Coolio Brother Where Art Thou?
25. The Hills Have Plies
26. Public Enemy of the State
27. Forgetting Sarah Marshall Mathers
28. The Dre After Tomorrow
29. Snoop Doggtown and The Jay-Z Boys
30. Frank Ocean’s 11
31. Nick Cannonball Run
32. Puff Daddy Daycare
33. Kanye West Side Story
34. Lil Romeo Must Die
35. Momma M.I.A.

-fresh (@danye33)

Former NBA Lottery Pick Accuses Tony Montana Of Implied Incest

If there’s one thing that MTV Cribs has taught us, it’s that wealthy, African-American men, love the movie Scarface. Which is why it should come as a surprise to no one anytime an athlete or rapper makes a reference to the movie, dons a t-shirt with Al Pacino’s likeness on it or says “Say hello to my little friend” in a joking manner. What should come as a surprise though is when an NBA player announces to his more than 75,000 followers that the films lead character, Tony Montana, secretly (or not so secretly?) wanted to bone his younger sister. Flynn, who is averaging 3.1 ppg this year for the Houston Rockets, is the 2 Man Weave’s reigning M.V.T. (Most Valuable Tweeter), and if these ridiculous movie acquisitions continue, he could very well be on his way to a repeat performance in 2012.
-fresh (@danye33)

Weave Gotcha Covered- Mike Posner and Blackbear "Stay Schemin"

Much like its predecessors Music Videos That Don't Suck and Awesome 90's Songs You May Have ForgottenWeave Gotcha Covered is a (fairly) new music feature we've been putting out from time to time to shine some light on our favorite musical covers.  This installment features former Duke frat boy-turned-rapper-turned singer, Mike Posner, and the highly talented, yet mysteriously unknown, Blackbear. The duo covers Rick Ross and Drake’s latest effort “Stay Schemin”, but to be fair, despite sharing the same lyrics, these two songs sound nothing alike. The original version is one of the hardest songs to hit the airwaves in 2012, while the remix sounds like something your 15 year old sister would blast from her Hello Kitty speakers in her room. This cover speaks dividends to Posner’s diverse musical talents and really brings light to the disturbing amount of time Drake spends at the Polo Lounge.

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Debunking The Tebow/Lin Comparison

Various sports media outlets, talking heads and fans alike have used Jeremy Lin’s recent successes as an opportunity to bring back America’s favorite two words- Tim Tebow. Comparing the two is like comparing a piece of steak to a slice of pizza. They couldn’t be any further alike, so why try?

Look, I get where America’s obsession with Tim Tebow comes from. He’s a great role model for young children, and his viewpoints represent the majority of the red, middle American states.  He plays the most lionized position in American sports. He is also a very good looking guy, with excellent morals, who’s exciting to watch, wins football games he *apparently* has no business in winning and respects all walks of life.  But as far as on the field/court credentials go, these two young men couldn’t be any more different if they tried.

During his tenure at the University of Florida, Tim Tebow put together (arguably) the greatest college football career any player has ever had. He won two nation titles, a Heisman trophy (first sophomore ever to do so),  set the career SEC Rushing TD record (as a QB!), eclipsed 50 TD's in a single season and was named Sports Illustrated’s College football Player of the Decade. In the spring of 2010, the Denver Broncos selected him in the first round of the NFL draft.  He was the second quarterback to come off the board.

Any other player with those or similar accomplishments would be expected no less than a Hall of Fame career.  Yet, because analysts tell us that he has a “unorthodox” throwing motion we’re supposed to act as if every time this guy wins a game it’s some kind of divine act from God.  Wrong- he’s won everywhere he’s been, and until proven otherwise, his NFL success should be looked at as talent, not luck.

Jeremy Lin is a different case all together. He led his high school to a state championship in California, where he boasted a balanced stat line of 15ppg, 7apg, 6rpg and 5spg.  Surprisingly, his success did not lead to a scholarship from any D-1 schools, and he wound up walking on the basketball team at Harvard. He has since spent time in the NBA’s Developmental League, been cut by two different franchises (Golden State and Houston) and most recently has taken the entire league (and world) by storm, thriving in a starting role for the New York Knicks.  He became a cultural icon over the course of four games last week. What other human being could make the home town Super Bowl Champions irrelevant just two days after a dramatic, come from behind victory? No one else. Period.

Which is why it’s insulting to drag Tim Tebow within 500 feet of Jeremy Lin’s limelight.  Besides being fun to root for, and having strong Christian views, these two players are nothing alike. WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE ABOUT TIM TEBOW?!!! Can’t we just enjoy this young man’s magical journey in peace? Tim Tebow has been on America’s radar since his freshman year of college. Two weeks ago no casual fans even knew who Jeremy Lin was! In my opinion, Bill Simmon’s friend Chen summed up what Lin has meant to society best, in today’s “All-Linsanity Mailbag”.
"But the fact that his story has transcended race is the real story for me- who doesn't identify with him? Asian Americans, Harvard grads, New York City, working stiffs, religious people, people in the Far East, even anyone who's been dumped by their employer or their girlfriend. He's hitting multiple demos. Every single color and ethnicity on the rainbow identifies with the guy; it's gone beyond the yellow barrier. The real story to me is how this has crossed over — it's a business story because of the economic impact (merchandise sales, ticket sales, MSG stock) and a human story (something that transcends sports, actually)."
The Jeremy Lin story is about as unique and special as you can find in the sporting world, and he shouldn’t have to share this moment with anyone. So why is everyone trying to do just that?

-fresh (@danye33)

2012 MLB Power Ranking (Part 1)

30. Houston Astros- The Astros posted a major league worst 56 wins last season, and once Hunter Pence was dealt to the Phillies midseason it became clear that the rebuilding process was underway. With inexperience up and down the lineup, highlighted with promising young talents like J.D. Martinez and Jose Altuve, the Astros will look to Carlos Lee to not only provide stability in the middle of the lineup but also for veteran leadership. For the Astros to have any success this season, their veteran pitching staff, headed by Wandy Rodriguez and Brett Myers, will have to step up in a big way. In their final year as a National League team, the Astros will struggle mightily and endure another season at the bottom of the barrel in the NL.

29. Seattle Mariners- In perhaps the biggest trade of the offseason, the Yankees and Mariners swapped highly touted rookies, Jesus Montero and Michael Pineda, filling glaring needs for both clubs. The Mariners offense was absolutely terrible last season, finishing dead last in runs, on base percentage, batting average and slugging percentage. The addition of Montero, accompanied by Dustin Ackley and Kyle Seager, give the Mariners a solid nucleus they can build around. However the Mariners offense will still labor through the season due to the lack of depth in their lineup. Seattle will have to wait on the maturity of its youth to begin its turnaround. A staple in the Mariners rotation, Felix Hernandez, has become one of the most feared pitchers in the majors over the past three seasons. Following Hernandez is Jason Vargas, a solid starter who will probably be there #2, and new additions Hisashi Iwakuma and Hector Noesi will round out their 5-man rotation. Ultimately, contending in the harsh AL West will not bode well for the Mariners, as they will be in for a long season.

28. Oakland Athletics- Moneyball was awesome, Billy Beane is the man, and the A’s are fucked, barring another revolutionary equation that is. The A’s were on their way to having yet another great rotation with Cahill, Gonzalez, and Anderson until Billy unloaded Cahill and Gonzalez, replenishing with young studs Brad Peacock and Jarrod Parker, both of whom I expect to be in the starting rotation; Anderson underwent Tommy John Surgery putting his 2012 season in jeopardy. The A’s offense is filled with young talent, headlined by Jermile Weeks, Josh Reddick and Brandon Allen along with the Cuban defector, Yoenis Cespedes. Maybe even more hyped than Japanese pitcher, Yu Darvish, Cespedes is the next big thing to come out of the DR, which is baseball's version of Russia in hockey, constantly supplying young foreign talent. Unless these four have break out years, the inconsistency throughout the lineup will be too much to overcome for the offense to be effective. Perhaps the worst part for the A’s lies in the fact their division rivals, the Rangers and Angels, are the using the Yankees-Red Sox tactic of overpay for everyone and worrying about it later. The A’s are in some trouble for this season.

27. Baltimore Orioles- The polar opposite of the previous two teams, the Orioles pitching staff was pathetic, coupled with playing in the unforgiving AL East, and last season was an utter disaster. Last in ERA, WHIP, quality starts, and 29th in batting average against, new GM Dan Duquette certainly had his hands full and thus far has not delivered any viable upgrades to the staff, adding only two Japanese starters that probably won’t be able to provide the needed support for the Orioles to become serious contenders. Fortunately, it's not all bad in Baltimore, they do present a solid lineup. The key is health, Brian Roberts and Nick Markakis are two of the better hitters in the game when not bitten by the injury bug; combine that with J.J. Hardy, Matt Wieters, and Adam Jones and their offense could be a force to be reckoned with. Realistically, Roberts is almost a lock to get hurt at some point in the season and Markakis enters the season coming off abdominal surgery. Pair that with rivals loaded with pitching talent and I foresee another struggle in Baltimore.

26. San Diego Padres- Right behind Seattle’s offense comes San Diego’s. The Padres finished no better than 28th in the four major hitting categories. Playing in PetCo Park doesn’t help, where all batters seem to enter slumps, with the exception of Adrian Gonzalez. With players like Cameron Maybin and Chase Headley not exactly panning out, the Padres will look to another big name prospect acquired this offseason, first baseman Yonder Alonso. They also added Carlos Quentin, who they hope will be able to breathe life into that floundering Padres offense. The Padres usual strength, their pitching, vanished this offseason as ace Mat Latos was dealt to the Reds, Aaron Harang signed with the Dodgers and losing both Wade LeBlanc and Heath Bell to the new-look Miami Marlins. To fill the voids the Padres got Edinson Volquez, along with Alonso, in return for Latos and look to Cory Luebke who began his transition out of the bullpen last season, to pick up the slack. The Padres have a lot of upside, but the lack of pitching will come back to haunt them.

25. Chicago Cubs- Losing familiar faces like Aramis Ramirez and Carlos Zambrano and releasing Carlos Pena after just one season, Theo Epstein has begun the reformation of the Cubs. His first acquisitions included David Dejesus, Ian Stewart, and Chris Volstad. Losing a big chunk of their power, the Cubs will look to Stewart to bounce back from his disappointing 2011 campaign. Also, they’ll look to young Starlin Castro to continue improving after becoming an All-Star in only his second season. In 2011, the Cubs pitching staff was disappointing, finishing near the bottom in almost every significant pitching category. After re-signing Matt Garza, they’ll bank on him and Ryan Dempster to have strong seasons. New additions Paul Maholm and Chris Volstad should also improve their staff. Starlin Castro is a young star in the making, and after adding young first base prospect Anthony Rizzo; the future looks bright in Chi town.

 24. New York Mets- When talking about the Mets, the first question that comes to mind is "Will Johan’s shoulder hold up?" When healthy, he gives the Mets a bona fide ace, unfortunately shoulder problems have plagued the lefty and left the Mets hopes riding on his shoulders, literally. Although the Mets did not add to their starting rotation, they have bolstered the back end of their pen with the additions of closer Frank Francisco and Jon Rauch, who will look to have bounce back seasons along with Ramon Ramirez. Providing a sigh of relief for Mets hitters, are the new dimensions of Citi Field, which should allow them to jack more than the 25 homers in 2012. Conceivably, this should allow Jason Bay, Ike Davis, and David Wright to flourish and get some of their confidence back. However I feel the glaring holes in the rotation will be too much to overcome in a division that has become one of the best in baseball this offseason.

 23. Minnesota Twins- Ron Gardenhire seems to always have the Twins competitive despite the lack of big name players on the roster. Last year, with Mauer laboring and Morneau still suffering from concussions symptoms not even Gardenhire put forth a competitive team. Combined with the impotent offense, Minnesota’s pitching was woeful. Making it worse, they did nothing to address the situation in the offseason except replace Kevin Slowey with Jason Marquis. If the M&M boys along with Denard Span can come back strong and remain healthy in the upcoming season, including new acquisition Josh Willingham, the Twins will put out a seasoned lineup that will be burdened with having to score a lot of runs in the upcoming season.

 22. Colorado Rockies- One thing you can count on in Colorado is their offense and in 2011 they certainly didn’t disappoint, ranking in the top 10 in all the significant batting categories (except slugging percentage- in which they ranked 11th). Signing Michael Cuddyer, a very underrated hitter, provides protection for Tulowitzki and Gonzalez. Throw in Mr. 300, Todd Helton, and the Rockies meat of the order will allow the their offense to thrive again. Now, the reason for the Rockies struggles has been their pitching staff. Last season, the team finished near the bottom of all the major statistical categories for pitchers. Making things worse, the team said farewell to ace Ubaldo Jimenez when the season was determined to be a wash. This season the Rockies face inexperience throughout their rotation, which could face challenges especially in the launching pad of Coors Field. The lack of experience will be too much to overcome, even for an offense that will plate a lot of runs.

21. Chicago White Sox- Not many people knew about the 50 million dollar giveaway the White Sox held outside of U.S. Cellular Field in 2011. The winners of the contest were Jake Peavy, Adam Dunn, and Alex Rios. Sox fans must have certainly felt this way last season. New manager, Robin Ventura, and hitting coach Jeff Manto, really have their work cut out with not only Dunn and Rios but also Gordon Beckham, the young talent out of Georgia whose play has been declining since his debut in '09. Replacing Mark Buehrle and his 200+ innings a year will not be an easy task. Hopefully, a healthy Jake Peavy can absorb those lost innings. Along with Gavin Floyd and John Danks, together the trio could create a proficient front end of the rotation. Losing their closer to the Blue Jays, the addition of the highly touted rookie Addison Reed should allow Matt Thornton to step into the closer role and solidify a White Sox pen that certainly went through its fair share of ups and downs last season. If the White Sox hitters can turn it around they’ll have a chance to be competitive with their solid starting rotation, but that’s a big IF.


Joe is the 2 man weave's baseball aficionado

Moron Sells Safe on eBay With $26,000 Still Inside

(WMCTV) MEMPHIS, TN - A Bartlett man found thousands of dollars inside an item he bought on eBay. James Labrecque sold an old safe on eBay for $122.93. He did not have the combination to the safe and believed it to be just another item to turn around.  Upon receipt, the buyer brought the safe to a welder, who cut it open. Inside the safe was $26,000 in cash. The buyer gave Labrecque a positive review and shared the news. "I feel like the stupidest idiot in the world," said Labrecque.  In a contentious e-mail chain Labrecque provided to Action News 5, he asked for a cut of the cash.  The buyer declined, citing Labrecque's seller policy that states, "What you see is what you get, no returns, and no money back."  "That's a chunk of change, you know.  That's life-altering money," he said.  "I mean, if I was in that situation and I found that kind of money and I bought it from someone, I'd say, 'Here man, I found this money.  I'll give you half of it.'" 

James Labrecque can cry me a frickin river.  Dude just sold a LOCKED safe, no key, no combination, no nothing, for $123.  He even went as far as to include the douchey “What you see is what you get, no returns, and no money back” disclaimer. You dug your own grave, now lay in it. $123 for something that you might not even be able to use is like armed robbery. And spare me the whole “if I found this money I would have given you half” crap because you and I both know it’s a god damn lie. If you’re willing to charge triple figures for an item that might not even be usable, then you sure as hell aren’t the type to share your winnings frivolously with total strangers. I couldn’t feel less bad for this guy if I tried.

But we’re not done here folks. We still have some issues that need to be addressed. One- why the hell was there 26k unaccounted for, locked up in this sucker? Did he rob a drug dealer in his younger years? Or had he at one time bought that very same safe on eBay and simply neglected to try opening it?  Either way this is a fail of epic proportions. Literally double the amount of money was lost here than that 80 year old who donated his suit to Goodwill with his entire lifesavings tucked away on the inside pocket.  And secondly, talk about taking a shot in the dark and having it pay off? This bro shells out a C note plus for some locked safe and ends up striking gold. Guess the sayings true- “you gotta be in it, to win it.”

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Lincredible Journey Rolls Through Toronto

Jeremy Lin added a new chapter to his story book season last night, leading the Knicks to a 90-87 win on Asian Heritage Night in Toronto. With just twenty seconds left in a tie game, Lin called for an isolation, and his teammates gladly made way for the undrafted point guard out of Harvard.  He dribbled in place for what seemed like too long, before finally making his move towards the three point line. After dribbling between his legs and progressing forward with three seconds left, Raptors point guard Jose Calderon took a fatal step backwards, allowing Lin just enough space to sink the game winning three pointer with half of a second remaining. Lin continued his string of excellence by tallying 27 points, 6 of which came in the games final minute, to go along with a career high 11 assists.  

The Knicks overcame a 17 point deficit to the injury plagued Raptors, capped off by a 13-1 run in the games final four minutes.  New York doubled the Raptors fourth quarter score, 24-12, as they continued to win ball games on the defensive end of the court, something that has quickly become a staple for the teams recent success.  In their last two games, both of which were decided by 3 points or less, the Knicks have allowed a combined 23 fourth quarter points. Tyson Chandler and Iman Shumpert have been the guys responsible for implementing this defense first attitude, and it was a mid-game defensive switch that placed Shumpert on Calderon that completely neutralized the Spaniards play, paving the way for New York's comeback. 

Last night also marked the return of superstar forward Amar'e Stoudemire, who had missed the previous four games while coping with the loss of his brother, Hazell Stoudemire Jr. The big man didn't skip a beat on the court, scoring 21 points and grabbing 9 rebounds, but afterwards he very open about the nightmare that he is dealing with.  He spoke to reporters about the the teardrop tattoo he had done below his right eye, saying that he got it because he will "forever (be) crying (on the) inside".

The Knicks look to get back to .500 tonight as they host the West's second worst team, the Sacramento Kings, at Madison Square Garden. 

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Is Bleacher Report Shitting Me With This Potential Knicks Trade?

No one actually takes this website seriously, right? They boast that they have over 7,000 contributors yet they've NEVER broken a story in the sites entire existence. They pry on unintelligent sports fans who are too dumb to realize that what they're reading has zero context and then feed off the page views their slideshow style format produces. 

This hypothetical trade was the icing on the cake for me and I refuse to stay silent on this issue any longer. Lets start at the beginning of Featured Columnist, James Pearson's, post, shall we? 
"Jeremy Lin is in; Iman Shumpert is out"
First of all, it's been five games. Lets pump the breaks here before we start kicking first round draft picks off of our team. Secondly, Shumpert's FG%, ppg and rpg have all increased since Lin took over at the point. In my eyes, Iman is far better suited at the 2 guard position to begin with, so this entire debate should be a non-issue. The notion that Jeremy Lin makes Iman Shumpert disposable is an atrocity to basketball journalism.
"With "Linsanity", the Knicks would be better off with a veteran point guard to compliment him, so why not go get Dragic, who was coincidentally playing his best basketball under Mike D'Antoni's system that was still in place under Alvin Gentry in Phoenix?"
Goran Dragic has been on the Rockets for over a year now. Furthermore, his numbers have improved since  he landed in Houston, completely disproving the fact that Dragic played his best basketball under Alvin Gentry.
"Lin and Dragic would form a great one-two punch at the point guard position for the Knicks. If Lin is indeed the real deal and Dragic resigns this summer, New York would have their point guard position filled for years to come." 
How about instead of wondering if they can hypothetically resign Dragic, lets worry about resigning Lin. Due to the Knicks current salary cap woes, the team would be unable to match any offer greater than $5 million dollars for the restricted free agent to be.
"The Rockets get immediate defensive help in their backcourt in Shumpert, who is a better complement to come off the bench for Kyle Lowry than Dragic."
So Iman's defense would help the Rockets out but not the Knicks? And what about the part where you never trade productive players on their rookie contracts unless you're getting a star player in return? Douglas and Shumpert both make less money than Dragic, and Iman has a very bright future in front of him. He's currently third in the league in steals and has freakish athletic ability. I know the Knicks have a history of horrible trades, but even Dolan wouldn't be stupid enough to deal a future starter on a rookie contract for a backup point guard.

Give me a homeless mans Russel Westbrook over a rich mans Tom Coverdale anyday.

-fresh (@danye33)

Monday, February 13, 2012

AMC Pulls The Old Bait And Switch After Last Nights "Walking Dead" Premiere

Last night AMC kicked off season 2.5 of their fan favorite zombie drama, The Walking Dead. The show picked up right where it left off, with officer Rick Grimes standing over the still warm zombie corpse of Sophia, Carol’s daughter, who had been missing since the first episode of season 2.

The episode, titled “Nebraska”, saw Hershel fall off the wagon, Daryl make a funny,  Shane piss people off, Rick commit a completely justifiable double-homicide, Lori doing everything in her power to prove the stereotype that woman can’t drive right and Carl come to grips with the fact that with Sophia gone, there is now an 82.3% chance that he will never, ever, lose his virginity. Okay, so I made that last one up, but you can’t honestly say that that thought hasn’t crossed your mind. Pool little guy.

In a move that was both clearly calculated and highly effective, the show returned to its famed 9pm Sunday night time slot, filling America’s football void without skipping a beat. Over 10 million viewers tuned in to watch the highly anticipated debut, and after a where-the-hell did that come from? shootout to end the episode, fans were eager to see what was in store for the gang next week. 

But as the credits rolled and the suspense mounted, we were informed that if we wanted too see what happens next week, we would have to wait until the first commercial break in Comic Book Men, a new, one hour, unscripted television series set in Kevin Smith's (Silent Bob) comic book shop in Red Hook, New Jersey, that premiered following last nights Walking Dead.

From a marketing, money making, business stand point, I loved this move. It forced people who would normally have no interest in watching this show, to do just that.  Maybe they gained some new fans, maybe they forced people to throw their remote controls through their LCD screens.  But regardless of what people thought, the word was out, and for better or worse, people were talking about this show.

From a viewer, fan, and television consumer standpoint, I hated this move. It was manipulative, greedy, and an inconvenience to the loyal fans who simply wanted to see what happened next at the old saloon in a timely manner.

The surprise wait led me to this below text message exchange with my friend Zach-

Zach: Super douche move on not showing the next episode preview

Me: Seriously, are you going to watch comic book man?

Zach: Not a fucking chance
six minutes later
Zach: This is brutal, Kevin Smith is a fucking dick nerd.
Zach: That guy with the beard has only had sex with his hand. 
Zach: This preview better knock my socks off

Me: For real
immediately following the Walking Dead preview, approx 10:16 pm 
Zach: That was awesome. Not worth it- but awesome

Me: I know man, can't wait for next week

Zach: U gonna finish CBM?
Little did he know, upon hearing about this ridiculous delayed viewing of the preview, I DVR'd Comic Book Men (so that I could fast forward straight through to the Walking Dead spot whenever it aired and not have to deal with a show that I had zero interest in) and instead had already switched over to the Grammys, just in time to see Adele preform a stunning rendition of Rolling In The Deep (Side note- Adele and Kelly Clarkston are in the middle of an epic battle to see who can shed more arm fat in a calender year. We're about six months into this thing and right now it's Clarkson's award to lose. However, barring some comfort food meltdowns, this race is still 100% up for grabs), fully knowing that I would get a text from Zach once it aired allowing me to then breeze through the episode to get to what I wanted to see. 

This point right here illustrates that no matter how infuriating AMC's tactics were, in the end, it worked. Not only did they get at least one person who other wise never would have checked out their program, but by the time the preview aired, he was already referring to it in acronyms and was contemplating sticking it out for the long run. I was able to take some solace in the fact that I controlled my own viewing destiny, and didn't give into the man. Score one for the schemers!

The lesson here- no matter what, DVR always wins.

-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, February 10, 2012

Sports Movie Showdown (Other Genres Edition)

The search continues for the BSM. Last week we broke down baseball and just as I expected, The Sandlot laced up its PF Flyers and sped away with the victory after receiving 47% of the vote. Childhood classics have DOMINATED the voting thus far. Since we couldn't give each sport it's own catagory, we've decided to group the best of the remaining movies and throw them into our "Other Genres" column. So without Freddie Adu, let's meet our nominees and punch that final ticket to the big show! 


This isn't comedy. It transcends comedy. It isn’t something that can truly be described. It’s the perfect storm of unbelievable once in a lifetime talent, writing and timing. Just look at the roster- it’s stacked (Murray, Dangerfield, Chase) with all of its stars at the prime of their careers. This is the Miami Heat of comedy. I wish I could make a funny movie with all my friend just to have it compared to a turd that Caddyshack pooped and left in the pool (I know it was a Baby Ruth). To me, this is the barometer to which every comedic movie should be judged upon. Oh and by the way, it’s kind of about golf.  (N.M.) 

Color Of Money

The days of old when men were men and pool sharks ran wild duping everybody except their own mama. The days before we all realized how short Tom Cruise was. And before he got all weird and started believing in aliens and shit. It was the 80’s and the movie was “The Color of Money”. In a sequel made nearly two decades after the original, Paul Neumann plays the sly pool shark veteran who takes Cruise under his wing to try and teach the game to the newbie. Predictably, a girl gets involved and the duo breaks. I won’t give away the ending, but it’s definitely deserving of a BSM ever nomination. Also, Fast Eddie is a fucking great name. (N.M.)

Karate Kid

For those who say Karate is not a sport, you need to make your way down to Long Island and find Ralph Macchio. Then ask him to deliver a precise crane kick to your face. Now after he does that get up and try to do anything....anything at all. If that doesn’t convince you that karate is a sport and that those who practice it are athletes, I don’t know what will. No better movie to describe teen angst in the 80's than karate kid. you have the short unassuming new kid in town that battles the douches of all douches in and out of the dojo. Who would Danielson be without the help and tutelage of Mr. Miyagi? The wise and strange Asian man next door. Any way this movie kicks cobra kai ass. (N.M.)


Think outside the box or should I say think outside the Keg. What competition or sporting event do we all participate in most in? The answer is Drinking Games. To my knowledge this is the only film to accurately showcase the sport of drinking. It’s not just throwing a ping pong ball into a cup. It’s a battle of whit and drinking ability. It’s man vs. man to see who can stand the longest without throwing up or flipping over the table in anger because you lost to a chick in flip cup. When we watch professional sports we admire the sheer beauty of athletic ability at its peak performance. Those who have seen an incredibly intense drinking game have to admire the sheer beauty of how amazing some people are at drinking games. That makes them an athlete in my eyes. So in homage to this beer guzzling classic I chant at the top of my lungs "THEY'RE NOT THAT DRUNK"! (N.M.)

Happy Gilmore

This movie actually features two different sports, hockey and golf. It's one of the funniest movies of all time, and competitive duel that ensures between Shooter McGaven and Happy is unparalleled in sports today. Despite having star power, the role players in the movie are just as good. Be it the grandma, meestah meestah lady, Ben Stillar as the sociopath elderly home orderly, Chubbs or Jaws from Bond, everyone brought their "A" game for this 90's comedy. Such a balanced attack. Talk about a hole in one. (D.C.)


Warrior, which scored a 8.3/10 on imdb, came out last fall, and was well received by both critics and MMA fans alike. I actually haven't gotten a chance to see this movie yet, so I'm not going to blow smoke up anyone's ass or pretend that I know anything about this movie other than what I've heard second hand. But from the responses that I've gotten from people who have seen this movie, it was evident that it deserved a shot at the title. (D.C.)

-Miggs with a side of fresh