Saturday, August 31, 2013

Breaking Ignition Taking You Into The Weekend

Good luck in your fantasy drafts everybody! And remember, no Raiders player is worth it.

-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, August 30, 2013

Dude Pissing On Lava Because, Well, The Internet

You show that magma who's boss!

Awesome 90's Songs You May Have Forgotten- Big Head Todd and the Monsters "Bittersweet"

Maybe its because I just moved into my first apartment with my girlfriend, or maybe its because I was too lazy to scroll past "B" on my iPod on my walk to work the other day, but either way this song has been penetrating my ear buds like a frat bro on spring break all week.

"Bittersweet" was the first single off Big Head Todd's 1993 major label debut album Sister Sweetly, and peaked at #14 on Billboard's Mainstream Rock Chart (lol @ Billboard rankings being a "thing"). This song is eons better than any of the crap you hear on the radio nowadays, and its bums me out that these guys never really blew up the way they deserved to.

Despite getting progressively darker as the track progresses, I'll leave you with this verse from the early goings. Definitely more sweet than bitter

"A little light looks through her bedroom window.
She dances and I dream, she's not so far as she seems,
Of brighter meadows, melting sunsets,
Her hair blowing in the breeze.
And she can't see me watching.

And I'm thinking love..."

-fresh (@danye33)

Chooch's 2014 College Football Mega Preview

The summer is coming to an end and I’m happy to return to the 2 Man Weave for my 3rd season of college football coverage. The football offseason lasts an excruciating 7 months, which makes the sport’s return in autumn a cherished American tradition. I’ll be writing for the weave each week to summarize the results of each weekend and previews of the upcoming big games, as well as a weekly Heisman watch. This week includes a brief overview of some of the storylines to pay attention to as the season gets under way.

Things to pay attention to in 2013

Tide Dominance: Can anyone derail the kraken program that Nick Saban has built in Tuscaloosa? After 3 national championships in 4 years, the Tide show no signs of slowing down. The program is as stocked with talent as ever, even after losing multiple first round draft picks in each of the past several years. Keep an eye out for Jeoffrey Pagan, CJ Mosley, Adrian Hubbard, and Hasean Clinton-Dix as the next generation of elite defenders at 'Bama. Until proven otherwise, it's hard to envision anyone dethroning the Tide.

SEC Dominance: Many are asking whether anyone can challenge the SEC’s dominance, but I think the better question is whether other teams within the SEC can challenge Alabama’s. Despite much of the hype around the conference, the SEC has been extremely top-heavy in recent seasons. In 2011, there wasn’t a single really entertaining Saturday afternoon CBS SEC game besides Bama-LSU. Florida, Georgia, LSU, Texas A& M, and South Carolina all show potential to dethrone the Tide, but none has truly delivered. It would be nice to see Tennessee make a comeback. That’s a great program and fanbase that has fallen on hard times.

Who can challenge the SEC?: What conference can provide the biggest challenge to the SEC? Many point to the Pac-12, with Oregon and Stanford as the frontrunners. Each provides different styles-Oregon the up-tempo spread offense, Stanford the smash-mouth power-running attack. The winner of the Pac-12 north might have its shot against the SEC champion. Also look to Ohio State in the Big Ten. Urban Meyer is building an SEC clone in Columbus (both on and off the field) and should be in a position to challenge them.

Can Notre Dame bounce back?: This seems like an odd questions to ask coming off a shocking 12-0 regular season run for the Irish, but the national title game left a bad taste heading into the offseason. This, compounded by a disastrous offseason that saw quarterback Everett Golson suspended for 2013 due to academic reasons, and several transfers, has many people down on ND this season. If the Irish can channel these setbacks as motivation, they can still have a nice season led by a top defense.

Big season for Mack Brown: During the 5 years from 2005-2009, Texas played for the national title twice, winning once in 2005 behind Vince Young. Since Colt McCoy’s departure after 2009, however, Texas has struggled mightily. Mack Brown has changed coaching staffs and tried new approaches, but nothing seems to be working. This could be a make or break year for Brown, as Texas, as always, has more than enough talent to win the Big 12.
Week 1 Preview:

Game of the Week:

Georgia at Clemson: How could this be any other game in week 1? Number 5 Georgia travels to number 5 Clemson in an old rivalry between two schools very close to each other geographically. Both teams harbor national title aspirations behind veteran senior quarterbacks (Aaron Murray at UGA and Tajh Boyd at Clemson) and loads of young, albeit inexperienced talent on defense. This is also a big game for the ACC, as it seeks to add some big non-conference wins against the SEC this season. This game should come down to how Clemson matches up in the trenches with Georgia. The SEC’s strength has always been its line of scrimmage play, not its speed. If Georgia’s lines can bully Clemson’s it will be a long day for the Tigers.

Other games to watch:

LSU vs TCU (Arlington): Two more geographically close rivals take part in a rare game in Jerryworld this weekend. LSU is annually one of the most talented teams in the country and could be too much for TCU, but Gary Patterson always has his squad up for big games. LSU is an enigma this season. If everything comes together, this team could challenge Alabama for a national title. Or, as we’ve seen in some seasons, LSU could collapse under Les Miles’ bizarre coaching style and finish with 3 or more losses.

Alabama vs Virginia Tech (Atlanta): The annual kickoff game in Atlanta between the SEC and ACC features the 2 time defending national champions, who should have no problem rolling over a young Hokie team. Virginia Tech had its worst season in years under Frank Beamer last season, and is annually losing out on the state’s top recruits. Keep an eye on freshman cornerback Kendall Fuller though; he’ll be playing on Sundays three years from now.

(Ed Note: I usually go for the sexy pics, but this chick's eyes were too crazy to not post)

Boise State at Washington: All college football fans must prepare for another season of Boise State bullshhit, as little stands between the Broncos and another undefeated season (and appearance in the poor Fiesta Bowl, which always seems to get stuck with these BCS-busters). The best chance for a loss could be week 1 at Washington, which is looking for a breakout season in former USC assistant Steve Sarkisian’s 5th year as head coach.

Northwestern at Cal: This game only intrigues me because of Northwestern under coach Pat Fitzgerald, who’s building a very solid foundation in Evanston. Northwestern could pose a challenge to Michigan, Michigan State, and Nebraska in the Big Ten Legends divisions this season, and this game will tell us a lot about whether that is truly feasible.

Preseason Heisman Watch:

1. Teddy Bridgewater-QB-Louisville: There’s not too much to say about Bridgewater. The guy is an elite quarterback and will be one of the top players drafted next April. Every highlight I see from him I am more impressed, not because of his freakish athleticism (which he has), but his pocket presence and comfort in the position. An easy schedule should allow Bridgewater to put up monster numbers.

2. Johnny Manziel-QB-Texas A & M: Last year’s winner should again have a big year stats-wise (hey, why not pad stats against 4 scrub opponents), but could struggle without some of the elite offensive linemen A & M lost after 2013.

3. AJ McCarron-QB-Alabama: McCarron hasn’t garnered tons of respect because Alabama is loaded all over the place, but the quarterback has been the glue of back-to-back national championships. He has a chance for a 3rd ring as a starter this season, and will remain in the conversation throughout.

4. Braxton Miller-QB-Ohio State: Miller should put up monster stats in Urban Meyer’s system, and against an easy schedule, should have the wins to secure an invite to New York.

5. Lache Seastrunk-RB-Baylor: The only non QB on my list stated in the offseason that his goal for 2013 is to win the Heisman. The former Oregon RB certainly has the talent and plays in an offense that will showcase his abilities. The glass ceiling has been broken as well after Robert Griffin III has already won
the award at Baylor.

See you guys next week!

-Chooch (@MrCianciulli)

Fantasy Football Talk With Miggs- RB Edition

2 Man Weave Fantasy Football Running Back Rankings 

30. Ben Tate (Hou) 29. Mark Ingram (N.O.) 28. Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis (CIN) 27. Montee Ball (DEN) 26. Lamar Miller (MIA) 25. Amhad Bradshaw (IND) 24. Chris Ivory (NYJ) 23. Geo Bernard (CIN) 22. Ryan Matthews (SD) 21. Eddie Lacy (GB) 20. Mcfadden (OAK) 19. Demarco Murray (DAL) 18. Reggie Bush (DET) 17. Chris Johnson (TEN) 16. Frank Gore  (SF) 15. David Wilson (NYG) 14. Steven Jackson (ATL) 13. Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC) 12. Steven Ridley (NE) 11. Jamal Charles  (KC) 10. Matt Forte (CHI) 9. Marshawn Lynch (SEA) 8. Alred Morris  (WAS) 7. Lesean Mccoy (PHI) 6. Doug Martin (TB) 

5. Trent Richardson (CLE) 

I know, I know, he plays for the browns. but this team will actually surprise some people this year and this guy is the main reason why. If you want to talk about true, premier starting running backs this is the newest entry into that club. A powerful runner cut from the mold of AP, Richardson burst onto the fantasy scene last year (950 rush yds, 11 rush TDs, 51 recs) and I expect him to continue his upswing this year. If new OC Norv turner uses him the way he used LT in his prime, I fully expect Richardson to finish the year up as a top 5 fantasy running back.

4. CJ Spiller (BUF) 

YOU ARE ELECTRIC? Ron Burgandy said it best about Rebecca Romijn Stamos but i think if Ronny Redwine was describing an electric running back, it would be C.J. Spiller. Guy is filthy in the open field, and his skills are as diversified as Wu-Tang's financial bonds. Early reports have this guy taking on an increased workload in Buffalo and becoming the focal point of Doug Marrone's new offense. He used to be the ultimate feast or famine player, with a 25 pt outburst one week and a 3 pt dud the next. I'm not saying that he is going to reach the next level in performance, but I am saying that we are going to see a more consistent output from C.J. Which makes him a very viable option as a top 5 pick. Fantasy owners can expect to SPILL out a lot of liquor for their playoffs chances if they don't have this guy on their team.

3. Ray Rice (BAL) 

New Ro's finest, and Super Bowl champion Ray Rice should be the consummate number 3 running back taken. He finished up last season with more than 1,700 total yards to go along with double digit scores and 60+ receptions and you can expect more of the same this time around. Don't be deterred by Bernard Pierce's playoff emergence, this is still Rice's team and he should be your choice to lead your fantasy team to the promised land. That is, so long as you don't have picks #1 or #2, which leads up to...

2. Arian Foster (HOU) 

Arian and the Texans might be the best team in the AFC this year, as a lot of the perennial contenders seem depleted by injury/loss of free agents, oh and murder. This guy is as consistent a player as you're going to find at this position. His 41 rushing TDs in past three seasons are good for best in the league. Yes, his YPC has dropped in each of those seasons as well, but touchdowns win fantasy titles and no one is better at finding their way into the end zone than this guy.

1. Adrian Peterson (MIN)

SHOCKER! There is no reason on Earth this guy shouldn't be drafted one overall. He makes grown ass professional football players look like they belong playing flag football on the weekends. The doubters still say "hey, we still don't know if that knee is going to hold up". SO WHAT, I feel like if he played on one leg he would still rush for a buck fifty and 2 scores each week.

It doesn't matter if opponants put eight men in the box every play, they know the ball is going to #28 and they also know there's not a damn thing they can do about it. The reigning league MVP fell just nine yards shy of breaking Eric Dickerson's record for most rushing yards in a season. He rushed for more than 107 yards in 9 of the last 10 games of the regular season, and carried a team that had no business playing postseason ball to the playoffs. Just imagine what he could do for your fantasy team.

-Miggs (@NickMiggs)

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Eminem To Release "The Marshall Mathers LP 2"

I myself did not watch the VMA’s, so I missed the commercials advertising Eminem’s newest album, “The Marshall Mathers LP 2,” set to be released on November 5, 2013. But needless to say, after Recovery (2010), it is hard to not be excited for this upcoming album. Hate ‘em or love ‘em (no pun intended), Eminem has had quite a successful rap career. It will be interesting to see if he can one-up his last effort.

Marshall seemed to have won back a lot of his fans after 2009's dud-of-an-album Relapse, where even Eminem himself would later go on to admit-

“Let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was ehhh, Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground, Relax, I ain't going back to that now…”
-Not Afraid
But songs like "Love the Way You Lie", "No Love (feat. Lil’ Wayne)", "Won’t Back Down" and "25 to Life" reminded me of classic Marshall. I speak for myself when I say I can listen to that Recovery album start-to-finish, no problem. And I don’t feel like I’m the only one who feels this way.

If you’re not aware, there are currently two tracks – "Survival" and "Bezerk" – which have already hit YouTube.

"Survival" – interestingly enough – is going to be featured in Call of Duty’s newest video game, GHOST. This was released on August 14th. Even though the chorus is a little corny at points, I really like this track. The verses are classic, angry Eminem.

"Bezerck" was released a little more than a week later on August 26th. This song uses Billy Squier’s "The Stroke” as its beat (the song in Billy Madison when Billy goes back to High School ). Its almost got a Beastie Boys vibe to it, if that’s possible. Just like "Survival", the verses are better – in my opinion – than the chorus.

Although not his best, these tracks are meant to serve as taste of whats to come for his fans, leaving them hungry for more.

Dinner's served November 5th.

-Chris Conforti (@c_conforti)

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Keytwitty Breaks Down His College Football Preseason Top 10

10)  LSU - The Tigers lost a lot of great talent to the NFL Draft, but I never bet against the Mad Hatter! Coach Les Miles always finds away to win in a very tough SEC west.

9) Louisville - If Heisman hopefully Teddy Bridgewater is the real deal, the Cardinals could find themselves in the BCS title mixes!

8) Florida - The Gators are back (on paper). Florida will have many chances to prove themselves this season with big time matchups against Miami, LSU, Georgia, South Carolina and instate rivals Florida State.

7) Texas A & M - The Aggies will go as far Heisman winner Johnny Manziel can lead them! Johnny Football has had a super crazy off-season that had social media buzzing! A & M should be good if the NCAA lets Manziel play this season!

6) Clemson - They have great team speed! Do you remember the name Sammy Watkins? Well this time around he’s back and healthy!

5) Georgia - The Bulldogs are the good team in the SEC that no one is talking about! Aaron Murray is an NFL ready pocket passer that is going to lead the Bulldogs to SEC championship! Well, at least that's what folks in Hotlanta are hoping.  

4) South Carolina - In Jadeveon Clowney we trust! Clowney would have been the first pick in the NFL Draft this past April had he been eligible. He’s back with the Gamecocks and with the old ball coach Steve Spurrier. All types of smoke and mirrors are possible!

3) Oregon - The Ducks and their prom night uni’s have reloaded since ex-head coach Chip Kelly moved on to the NFL! With their hard to stop spread offense, and their unique play calling signs, the Ducks are ready to fly this season!

2) Ohio State - The Buckeyes are ready to go BCS bowling in year 2 of the Urban Meyer era. OSU has a very “light” schedule and the super hype machine is locked and loaded on quarterback Braxton Miller. Could the Buckeyes be the team that finally ends the SEC's BCS national championship run? Not if this next team has anything to say about it...

1) Alabama- 'Bama is #1 because they deserve to be #1! The crimson and white have won an unprecedented 3 out of the past 4 national championships and Nick Saban might be the best coach in all of football. 'Bama has become the mecca of the college football world, and winning titles, along with breeding NFL studs, has become the normal way of life in Tuscaloosa


- @Keytwitty

Take A Few Minutes And Soak In Martin Luther King Jr.'s Words on The 50th Anniversary of His "I Have A Dream" Speech

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Weave Gotcha Covered- Zander Zon "Mr. Brightside"

It's been a big month for "Mr. Brightside". First Zander Zon drops a killer (no pun intended) bass cover of the '03 mega-hit, then the song goes on a Cinderella run from the 9th seed all the way to the Elite 8 (and counting!) in Grantland's Best Song Of The Millennium bracket.

For more Zander Zon, check out his YouTube page.

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Smoke Show Impersonates 19 Different Artists While Singing "Total Eclipse of The Heart"

Still not as good as The Dan Band's version at Frank's wedding in Old School, but I'd say Christina Bianco did a hell of a job here.

-fresh (@danye33)

Great Moments In Unfriended History, Vol. 15 (Trifecta From The Same Guy!)

I can't be the only one who hoped while reading this that things were going to take a drastic turn for the worst, and that this couple would somehow end up dead in the East River, right? 

No. Just no. If you want to tell the most spectacular woman on the face of the earth how you fall for her more and more each day, buy a goddamn card at Hallmark and send it to her. Ain't nobody got time for this kind of virtual PDA. 

Have an annoying "friend" taking up space on your newsfeed? Screen shot his or her status and send it my way to

-fresh (@danye33)

Four Rookies To Keep An Eye On

1) Montee Ball, RB Broncos

Ball is probably the most over-looked player in college football during the past five years, throughout his tenure at Wisconsin. He set the NCAA Division I record for rushing touchdowns with 77, and total touchdowns with 83. We all know about Ron Dayne, the Heisman winner in 1999 who had unlimited potential, but unfortunately for us Giants fans, never panned out in the NFL. Montee has a much different style than Dayne, so don’t let that cloud your vision.

Ball is extremely quick, strong, and has great vision and agility. He ran behind an excellent Badgers offensive line fulled with current and future NFL linemen, dominating teams at the line of scrimmage. Ball portrayed the classic Big 10 ground and pound style but also became dangerous as the check down receiver. He could not have been drafted into a more ideal situation than the one he is in with the Broncos, with Peyton Manning keeping opposing defenses on their toes. If Ball can stay healthy, I wouldn't be surprised to see 1,200 yards and 8 touchdowns.

2) Tyler Eifert, TE Bengals

At 6’6, 250lbs Eifert effortlessly gets up in the air and makes the tough catches. Tyler had a great career at Notre Dame and being drafted with the 21st pick overall is expected to immediately step in and contribute for the Bengals. His size is his strongest asset, and he is almost unstoppable against smaller corners, simply because he can out jump pretty much anyone. Eifert is currently 2nd string behind Jermaine Gresham, but don't expect things to stay that way for long. This duo could become the new Hernandez & Gronk. As the season progresses his playing time will increase, and although he’s a rookie, expect to see some great catches from the bruiser from Notre Dame.

3) Knile Davis, RB Chiefs

One of my favorite players in the SEC over the past few years, this kid has crazy speed and agility, but unfortunately is prone to injuries. He was hurt most of last year but during the 2010 campaign when he played with Ryan Mallet he had almost 1300 yards and 14 touchdowns. Davis was drafted 34th overall to the Chiefs and is currently behind Jamaal Charles, another injury prone back, on the depth chart. As Andy Reid takes over the reigns in KC with his high octane, pass first west coast offense, Davis should be getting some solid playing time. And we all know how Reid likes to use his RBs, a la Shady McCoy and Brian Westbrook. If Knile can stay healthy and catch the rock in the flat, he'll do a lot of damage in the up and coming AFC west.

4) Aaron Dobson, WR Patriots

We all know about the problems the Patriots are facing as they enter the season with Gronk sidelined, Hernandez in jail, and most recently, Brady's injury. Their two starting receivers are Danny Amendola and Mike Jenkins, nothing special. Look for Dobson, whom Belichick drafted 59th overall from Marshall, to emerge as a pure playmaker who excels in the open field and has the potential to become Brady’s favorite new deep threat.

-Nick D'Apiece

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Japanese Doritos Are Way More Extreme Than Ours

Beyond confused here. For starters, why is the dude in the yellow latex suit cheesing so hard (no pun intended). The guy is getting his family jewels stomped out from the wheel-barrel position and looks happier than a pig in shit. If these chips are really that good that it can make you ignore a good kick to the balls than I need to order a box of them, and I needed to order it yesterday.

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Here's The Trailer For A Movie Where Joaquin Phoenix Falls In Love With A Computer

I'm not going to sugar coat this, the only reason why anyone would have any desire to go to this movie is to see how they pull off the inevitable Phoenix-phone sex scene. Does he physically penetrate the plastic? Or does he call for more mayo while "Samantha" talks dirty to him?

I guess we'll have to wait until "Her" hits theaters November 20th to find out.

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Friday, August 2, 2013

The Riley Cooper Situation (Reader E-Mail)

Just to bring everyone up to speed, on Wednesday a video surfaced on the sports blog Crossing Broad of Eagles #2 wideout hopeful Riley Cooper using a derogatory slur at a Kenny Chesney concert. He has since been fined by his team and sentenced to "sensitivity training classes." More than a few high profile players, including Riley's Pro Bowl teammate LeSean McCoy, have made it clear that that type of language is unacceptable.  

What's your take on Riley Cooper? The media will certainly make him a pariah, and using that kind of language is inexcusable...but the players forgive him (didn't forget, but forgave) and that should be what matters most right? You hate to see a young kid have his career ruined because of a single slip. How much leeway do you give him? It's a tricky situation but he seemed sincere in his apology. And lastly do you think it would have garnered an equal reaction had he used a derogatory term for another race?


Well you're right about that type of language being inexcusable, and just because a few players have forgave Cooper for his drunken slip-up (to put it very lightly), doesn't mean that things are back to normal. There's still literally hundreds of players in the league who were no doubt offended by his choice of words and either didn't have the social platform speak up or didn't feel the need to address is publicly. 

It's NEVER acceptable to use that word, but its probably an even worse idea to use that word when your profession allows for physical assault on a play-by-play basis. You can bet your bottom dollar there's going to be 30 safeties out there (Tom Zbikowski excluded) licking their chops every time Cooper crosses the middle. Lets just say that fine won't be the only formal punishment he receives. 

As far as how much leeway I give him, the answer is none. When you're a professional athlete (or any job that puts you in the public eye) you have a responsibility to rise to the occasion and act like a decent human being. You're representing your franchise and league every time you walk out of your house. Even though Cooper was probably 20 beers deep and swimming in country ass at the time of the video, he showed us his true colors and that's what's so unfortunate about this. Because no matter good he plays on the field this skidmark is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and rightfully so. 

But this is the NFL, where alleged murderers have been able to bounce back to become Super Bowl MVPs, so I don't think this will be the end of Riley Cooper's career. Sure, its going to be the first thing we all think about anytime we hear his name, but if he can produce he'll continue to wear a jersey and get a gigantic paycheck each week. 

Your last question was great one- "do you think it would have garnered an equal reaction had he used a derogatory term for another race?" I think that if Cooper had replaced the N word for the derogatory term for gays then we would have witnessed equal outrage from the media, though not as much feedback from the players (other than Chris Kluwe). It's unfortunate, but I think if the slur had been aimed at another minority ethnic group it would have gotten swept under the rug. It just so happens to be that African Americans (the group Cooper targeted) make up the the majority of the league that he plays in, hence the (predictable and justifiable) backlash. 

The Redskins will be the first team to get a crack at Cooper this season, provided he remains an Eagle, on Monday Night Football (9/9) in D.C. 

-fresh (@danye33)