Friday, November 30, 2012

Passion Pit "Take A Walk" Taking You Into The Weekend



This song has been stuck in my head all week, so now it's my turn to pass it on over to you.

Have a safe weekend everybody, and make sure you shave those damn beards!

-fresh (@danye33)

The Governor Is A Boob Man, And Other Observations From Season 3 Episode 7 Of "The Walking Dead"


The word of the day is Penultimate, which the Webster’s dictionary defines as “the last kick ass episode of The Walking Dead before the mid-season finale.” I might have tweaked the definition a little bit but to be honest it makes sense for someone writing about this week’s episode. It set the frame work for what should be an explosive confrontation between Rick’s Crew and Woodbury. Some people say there are no guarantees in this world except death and taxes. I say bullshit, there is a guarantee that there will be death, but also dismemberment and every viewers elevated heart rate for next week’s finale. So let’s break down The Governors sexual shakedown in this week’s Walking Dead recap.

This week’s episode “When the Dead Come Knocking” begins with Michonne on the outside of the prison waiting to see if Rick is going to let her in. Her zombie costume is beginning to wear off and the zombies surrounding the fence begin to take notice. As zombies start to swarm Michonne like frat boys chasing the last girl standing at the bar, she fends off a couple with some bad ass head chopping action. Rick hesitates to help the stranger out, but Carl takes the initiative and pops two zombies in the head before they can make a nice Michonne lunchable. They save Michonne and bring her into the prison. Of course nobody trusts anybody so they take her sword and lock her in a different cell block. And now for another installment of times when Miggs almost cried during a zombie apocalypse show.

Yes, when Rick finds out Carol was alive, my eyes welled up a little bit. That moment just furthers the idea that these people are no longer just a group of survivors strung together but are inching closer and closer to becoming what a post zombie world family structure would look like. Michonne also sees this moment and realizes that these are good hearted people and finally for the first time in her entire run on the show lets her guard down. She reveals what she knows about The Governor and Woodbury. It riles up Rick and the rest of the group so they decide they better find Woodbury first before The Governor finds the prison.

So back at Woodbury it just seems to be that The Governors’sexual tension has spilled over into many aspects of the show. From his ongoing relationship with Andrea to how he is now interrogating Maggie and Glenn, this guy seems to be very sexual in every move he makes, hence my nick name for him “The Lovernor. First things first, let’s just have a moment of silence for all the men who had to adjust their pants during this week’s episode because they were watching with their SO or family. Let’s give a round of applause for the talent displayed this week by both Andrea and Maggie. Who knew they both were hot, but that? DADDY LIKEY. All be it Maggie’s scene was more creepy than sexy, no one can deny that she’s one HOT PIECE OF ARSEEEE.



Now we enter the torture/interrogation portion of this week’s article. Glenn and Maggie were taken hostage by Merle, and Glenn draws the lucky card of being interrogated by Merle. After dealing with a severe beating at the “hand” or Merle, Glenn stays strong and doesn’t give any info in regards to Rick and the prison. Merle gets pissed and goes to plan b. releasing a live walker into the room while Glenn is tied to the chair. Doesn’t he realize that Glenn is now a fully fledged bad mamajama? Glenn gets the zombie kill of the week for just goin hard and killing the shit out of that zombie with his hands tied behind his back. And if you were counting, I believe Merle’s ongoing racially insensitive comment score this week was 2. He made two racially charged remarks. Once again I repeat- WATTADICK.

Just a quick blurb on what that scientist guy was trying to do- he was trying to figure out if a zombie remembers anything from its past life once it turns. I believe this scene provided us with some insight. All I could think of during this scene was that they were trying to see if The Governor’s undead daughter can remember anything from her past life. And it also showed us a big difference between Rick’s group and Woodbury. That difference is toughness and experience. This guy was so stupid that he almost got himself killed, and it took somebody who survived out in the wild like Andrea to save his ass. Keep that in mind when we get closer to the confrontation between camps. Who do you think is more adept at surviving the people who have been behind big walls away from all the death and destruction or the people who have been fighting for their lives for a better part of a year?


Now to the part of the show where I got some serious heebe jeebes going. The Governor decides that he is going to interrogate Maggie. He pretty much gets straight to the point and demands she take off her shirt. Okay interesting tactics Governor, if he were interrogating a nudist would he demand that she dress heavily?  He then pretty much simulates what it would be liked to be raped by The Governor without actually doing it. Tough scene to watch especially with your SO because of the way he used his tactics between Glenn and Maggie. He eventually threatens Glenns life forcing Maggie to give up the location of the prison. So that marks it, no more gray area for me. Once you threaten rape on a poor young woman that whole possible good guy thing gets thrown out the window.

So now the table is set for a mid-season finale showdown next week. We’ve got some key match ups on our hands in Rick vs. Gov, Michonne vs Woodbury, Daryl vs Merle.  Who will make it out alive? Is this conflict going to end next week or is it just going to escalate and then save the drama for the second half of this season. All I know is that I will be glued to my TV come 9 o’clock Sunday night. So tune in and then check back next week for the Walking Dead Season 3 Part 1 finale recap.

-Miggs

A Jet Fan's Open Letter To Bart Scott


Dear Mr. Scott,

This is an open letter to you from a lifelong jet fan. With all due respect sir, and I do mean with all due respect, just shut up and play some respectable football. This whole season you've been holding grudges with entire “groups” of people. First it was the “media” whom you unsuccessfully tried to boycott. Now you’ve set your sights on the people that pay your salary. Yes, I get it, we’re not the easiest fan base to love and play for, but you do owe it to us to play your hardest at all times.

The problem stems from the fans obviously noticing a lack of heart, something this jets team hasn’t had in over two years. We don’t just boo for bad play, I mean we do boo for that, but what really gets us going is when your constant talk is backed up by poor play. The entire Jets franchise has been touting how good they are since Rex took over. So you have to expect when that happens the bar is going to be raised. Why don’t you play up to that bar instead of blaming everything else when you fall short of that level?

Yes, the fans were out of line with in that now infamous Thanksgiving Day video, but they have the right to be frustrated. They spend their hard earned money to go watch a professional football game and that performance, and for much of this season, the New York Jets have been anything but professional. You think the reaction would have been that bad if you came out and played tough and hung in there versus a better team?

No.

They boo because it was painfully obvious that you guys had given up in the second quarter. Once again you showed your “professionalism” by saying that the fans that were booing were a bunch of “guys who would have been picked last in dodgeball.”  So go ahead keep being delusional and thinking that the fans are stupid, uneducated, jealous people that are just being haters because we wish we were athletes. Well DUH!!!!!!! Everyone wishes they were a professional athlete. That’s what frustrates us when we see a noticeable lack of effort or heart because we will never get a chance to play in a professional football game.

So when we see players take it for granted because they were blessed with incredible athletic ability and worked hard to perfect their sport, WE WILL GET FEROCIOUS ABOUT IT. To be honest I get that you’re probably frustrated too, but be smart about it. Retaliating to the fans is such a lose lose situation for you. Keep that in mind when you make comments like this because you may one day over step your boundaries and find yourself on the free agent market mid season. It’s not like you’re an untouchable commodity anymore. If you were the star and leader of the team, people would honestly respect and care about what you have to say. But truth be told you’re an aging middle linebacker in the twilight of his career who has been slowly but surely fazed out of the defense.

I’ll leave you with this, how do older players with diminishing skills stay on a roster? I’ll give you one hint- it’s the fans. Players have been kept way past their time purely on the fact that they are loved by the fan base. So keep that in mind and maybe you’ll extend your career before you have to take up dodge ball full time.

Sincerely,

Miggs

Notre Dame Punches Their Ticket To Miami, And Georgia-'Bama Battle To Be Top Dog In The SEC- It's Your Championship Week College Football Talk With Chooch


I don’t claim to be a lifetime fan of Notre Dame. My fanhood began in earnest once I was accepted to the university back in April 2006. Back then, ND was coming off a resurgent 2005 season, one that had ostensibly “woken the echoes” once again for Notre Dame football. The team was a pre-season #2 and the student body as well as the ND fanbase everywhere was full of optimism. But all those dreams came crashing down in week 3 at home against Michigan, when ND suffered a 47-21 beatdown that wasn’t even as close as that score indicates. The last week of the season, ND was killed again by USC, and then once again was killed in the Sugar Bowl by LSU. The results of these games revealed an uncomfortable truth for ND fans: their team simply did not have the athletic ability to compete with the elite of college football.

The next three years of the Charlie Weis did nothing to dispel this myth. Now, ND had bad coaching to go along with its lack of NFL talent. Even when Brian Kelly was hired, he produced some dumbfounding losses in 2010 (to Navy and Tulsa), along with the unspeakable collapse at Michigan in week 2 of 2011 (the sheer absurdity of which led to the only time I’ve ever been cut-off at a bar). The 2007-2011 seasons seemed like a torturous March towards the nadir of Notre Dame football, from which it would never recover.

Behind the scenes, however, Brian Kelly was laying the foundation for future success. What has made Kelly such a success in his 20 years of college coaching has been the mental and physical toughness he instills in his team. That was a process, not evident in his first two seasons, but something that fully took hold over this 2012 squad and will be present going forward. In addition, ND’s recruiting on the defensive side of the ball, particularly on the front 7, was elevated to SEC levels. That is how games are won.

Nevertheless, it’s incredible to watch this process come to a head and result in a magical dream season for the Irish. Before the season, no one, including myself, could have envisioned this 12-0 season. Along the way, Notre Dame was supposed to get exposed. Michigan State was going to bring them back down to earth. Oklahoma was going to expose the patchwork Irish secondary, which features 3 former offensive players. USC was going to do the same. Each week, ND answered the bell, and will play for a national championship January 7th. Simply unbelievable.



Now let’s preview the weekend’s big games, most of which are conference championships.

SEC Championship- (3) Georgia vs. (2) Alabama: Two years before college football gets 4 team playoff, we get a de facto national semifinal game this weekend in Atlanta when Georgia takes on Alabama for the SEC title. Many in the college football world believe that the SEC team playing the best football right now is Florida, but the Gators lost to Georgia 17-9 in Jacksonville in a mistake-riddled game that saw 6 Florida turnovers. So, we are left with the Bulldogs in the title game even though they’ve played a downright awful schedule this season. Alabama is here as expected, although most didn’t envision a loss at home to Texas A & M. The difference in this game will be line play. Bama’s oline is the best in the country, but its dline has struggled to get a consistent pass rush, which will hurt against Georgia QB Aaron Murray and his talented receivers. The winner will advance to play Notre Dame in the BCS National Championship Game (I can’t believe I just wrote that).

ACC Championship- Florida State vs. Georgia Tech: This game was made much less compelling after FSU’s loss to Florida last week and the fact that Miami and North Carolina are both ineligible due to bowl bans. Instead, the 6-6 Yellow Jackets get this spot. ACC football needs a lift, and this type of title game isn’t it.


Pac 12 Championship- UCLA at Stanford: The Pac 12 title game is played at the home stadium of the higher-seeded team. This game actually features a rematch from last week, so it’s hard to tell how much of the playbook UCLA showed (UCLA was in the title game regardless of last week’s results). Stanford brings a tough, physical style to the Pac 12, and only has 2 losses coming in, at Washington, and an OT loss at Notre Dame on a goal line stand. Winner goes to their first Rose Bowl in seemingly forever.

Big Ten Championship- Wisconsin vs. Nebraska: Another game marred by sanctions. 12-0 Ohio State would be in this game if it weren’t on probation. Instead, we get 7-5 Wisconsin. Nebraska should win this game but I wouldn’t be surprised to see an inspired effort from the Badgers.



Texas at Kansas State: KSU’s title hope are dashed, but they can still win the Big 12 and go to the Fiesta Bowl with a win over Texas.

Heisman preview to come next week.

-Chooch

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Week 13 NFL Picks


So Brandon Marshall went on record this week saying that he's "heard of (NFL) players using Viagra for a competitive advantage", which makes for hilarious puns and article titles, but begs the bigger question of how?  Apparently that little blue pill serves as a blood thinner as well as a cock thickener, and it gives players an extra boost. To be fair, Brandon Marshall is a noted crazy person, and Bears OC Mike Tice insisted that "(Marshall) has to be making that up." Either way it sure as hell makes former Raiders wide receiver Louis Murphy's 2011 arrest for Viagra 100x more suspicious.

Regardless, I don't think I'll ever look at a loose ball pile on the field the same way again.

2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (7-5) Jax +6 in the ruff tuff Buff

I'm gonna come right out and say it- I love this Jags offense with Chad Henne under center. They've shown that they can score on anyone and their WR corps are exciting as hell to watch. Cecil Shorts is guaranteed to score at least one garbage time touchdown per game, and even though I think the Bills will win this game, they have no business laying this many points.

And now, the picks!

The King's Throne
Gary 88-81-5   N.O. +3.5, Chi -4, Minn +9, S.F. -7, NYJ -4.5, Car -3, Indy +4.5, Jax +6, N.E. -7.5, Hou -5.5, Den -7, Oak, S.D. +1.5, Dal -9, NYG -2.5

Watch The Throne
Chooch  85-84-5  N.O. +3.5, Chi -4, G.B. -9,  S.F. -7, Ari +4.5, Car -3, Det -4.5, Buff -6, N.E. -7.5, Hou -5.5, Den -7, Oak, S.D. +1.5, Dal -9, NYG -2.5

Muggsey  84-85-5   Atl -3.5, Chi -4, G.B. -9,  S.F. -7, Ari +4.5, Car -3, Indy +4.5, Jax +6, N.E. -7.5, Hou -5.5, T.B. +7, Cle, S.D. +1.5, Dal -9, NYG -2.5

Flem 83-86-5 N.O. +3.5, Chi -4, G.B. -9, S.F. -7, NYJ -4.5, Car -3, Det -4.5, Buff -6, N.E. -7.5, Hou -5.5, T.B. +7, Oak, Cin -1.5, Dal -9, NYG -2.5

The Mush
Danye 76-93-5  N.O. +3.5, Chi -4, Minn +9, S.F. -7, NYJ -4.5, Car -3, Indy +4.5, Jax +6, N.E. -7.5, Hou -5.5, Den -7, Oak, S.D. +1.5, Dal -9, NYG -2.5

Obscure Gif Of The Week /  Dude downs a pitcher of beer like a BAWSE



Babe of the Week / Candice Swanepoel


Random YouTube Video Of The Week That Has Nothing To Do With Football / Father and daughter come dangerously close to two whales while canoeing in Australia 



Game Time Snack Of The Week / Pigs in a blanket

Chief Keef "Locked 'N Loaded" Fantasy Player To Watch For


Jeremy Maclin, WR Eagles

"This week I’m hafta go with Maclin cause I been known to get my mack in when I’m sipping on that lean. You dudes ever sipped purp and got some head? Word to mother ain’t ever experience nuffin better in my whole life. It’s like that Juvie song Slow Motion only with some slurpin’ going on namean? But yea wif DeSean p*ssy ass out for the season and McCoy with the noodle brain those Birds best be looking for Jeremy all day. May fuck around and throw a C on it. Bee-lee-dat."

-fresh (@danye33)

I Asked A 2x Super Bowl Champion About Spy Gate


(TD) When Hurricane Katrina stuck the Gulf region back in 2005, hundreds of New Yorkers flew down in the ensuing months to volunteer, re-build and do their best to help get things back to normal. Fast forward seven years, and now thanks to Hurricane Sandy, the New York metropolitan area finds itself in a similar situation.
For one Super Bowl-winning defensive end, this was just the excuse he needed to give back to the area that once had his back.
Jarvis Green spent eight seasons with the New England Patriots, racking up 28 sacks and winning two titles along the way. But it’s Green’s off the field accolades that really jump out to you when measuring what type of man he truly is. He recently took a break from his philanthropy work to talk to TDdaily about how his foundation plans on helping victims of Sandy, along with what the Giants offensive linemen were doing on the infamous Super Bowl XLII “helmet catch” and more.
***************
TD: Did you guys on that ’07 Patriots team use ‘Spy Gate’ as extra motivation to play even harder to prove how good you really were?
JG: I think it was more just adversity man, people throwing stuff at you. For us, we played well, we had a great year through that and just managed to go out there and show people we don’t need cheating to be successful and win.

To read the rest of this interview, and hear about what the Giants offensive line was doing during the infamous "helmet catch", click here

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Weave Gotcha Covered- Obadiah Parker "Hey Ya"



Much like its predecessors Music Videos That Don't Suck and Awesome 90's Songs You May Have ForgottenWeave Gotcha Covered is a (fairly) new music feature we've been putting out from time to time to shine some light on our favorite musical covers. This installment features Obadiah Parker covering Outkast's ultra catchy, yet deceivingly depressing, 2003 mega-hit "Hey Ya". Don't believe me? Just take a look at these lyrics-
If what they say is "Nothing is forever"
Then what makes love the exception?
So why oh why oh, are we so in denial,
When we know we're not happy here?
 Parker does a phenomenal job of stripping this song down to it's true core, without all the flashly back up dancers, uptempo beat and repetitive lyrics. It's a song about a lost love, and the singers heartache cannot be hidden in this cover.

Also, this YouTube comment is awesome



-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Week 13 Waiver Wire Pickups


As we approach the final week of the regular season I find myself in playoff contention in all five (yes, five) of my fantasy leagues. And if you've been following my weekly advice all season long, then you too may soon find yourself enjoying the short lived enjoyment and never ending anxiety that comes along with obtaining a playoff berth. This week St. Nick comes early, and a pair of first round running backs come back from the dead. For write ups on all those guys, as well as the best of the rest on the waiver wire, check out my "Win Week 13" column over at TDdaily.com.

-fresh (@danye33)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Chris Brown Deletes His Twitter Account After Telling Female Comic He Wants To Fart On Her Face While She Gives Him Top





(USA) Chris Brown deleted his Twitter account Sunday after engaging in a vulgar war of words with comedian Jenny Johnson. MTV reports that the feud began when Brown tweeted a photo of himself with the caption, "I look old as (expletive). I'm only 23." Johnson, who has been ribbing Brown since the singer pleaded guilty to felony assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna, responded, "I know! Being a worthless piece of (expletive) can really age a person. The exchange continued to go downhill from there and included crude oral sex references and references to Brown's mother.
I just want to start out by saying that intentionally farting while someone is giving you "top" has got to be the most diabolical thing you can do to a person. Like all jokes aside, just the idea of Chris Brown purposely farting while getting head has to be the most ridiculous visual I've ever had.
I mean I don't have any problem with how either of these two adults handled the situation. On one hand you've got a comedian whose job is to make people laugh, and by attacking Breezy for attacking Rhianna, she's just doing what she does best. But at the same time how can you get mad at Brown for showing his true colors and replying with his well documented hatred for women? Just like when Dennis Green played the Bears, Chris Brown is who we thought he is. A raging misogynist with little-to-no conscious. 

All I know is that just like the NBA with Derrick Rose and the rap game with a clear minded Eminem, Twitter is hands down a much better place with Chris Brown in it. So for the sake of fans, comedians and people in need of finding someone to laugh at in an attempt to feel better about themselves everywhere, I hope CB reactivates his account, and I hope he does it soon. 

If not, than I'm going to need Wiz Khalifa to start threatening to dookie on Chelsea Handler's face. 

-fresh (@danye33)

Jameer Nelson Broke Paul Pierce's Ankle



To keep with the theme of NBA players getting embarrassed at the hands and feet of their colleagues, here's Jameer Nelson with the shake and bake on Paul Pierce. And for all those people out there saying that Paul has lost his step this season, well that not's fair or true.

He's lost his dignity, and that, my friends, is way harder to get back.

***UPDATE***

Then this happened Wednesday night



-fresh (@danye33)

[via Ball Don't Lie]

Harrison Barnes Emasculates Nikola Pekovic



This facial came during the second quarter of Golden State's 96-85 victory over Minnesota on Saturday night. Barnes finished the game with 10 points, 11 rebounds and one monster ego boost. The rookie out of UNC is averaging nearly 11 and 5 so far this season, and has made Warriors fans completely forget about his predecessor Dorell Wright (which admittedly, isn't that hard to do).

As for Pek- keep your head up, and think about getting out of the way the next time the freight train rolls through town.

-fresh (@danye33)

Music Videos That Don't Suck, Vol. 16



Because all MTV airs is lactating teens and internet dating gone wrong, I've taken the responsibility upon myself to present to you, the reader, worthwhile music videos to watch. This installment features "Mercy" by the Dave Matthews Band, their first single off of their latest #1 album Away From The World.  The video is made up almost entirely of DIY submissions from the more than 14,000 fans across the globe who responded to an e-mail sent out by the band asking for fan contributions in mid-July. Mercy was released with the intention of spreading awareness to National Voter Registration Day, and the song boasts the message that "one by one we can turn it around." It's a beautiful music video for a beautiful song that is sure to make you hit your daily quota of goose bumps.

DMB kicks off their fall tour this Friday at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, NJ. The band will be donating $1 million dollars from that show to Superstorm Sandy relief efforts.

-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, November 23, 2012

Week 12 NFL Picks



I hope you guys all had a better Thanksgiving than I did. For the sake of future and current employers, I'll leave out the details and give you a toned down version of the events that took place on TGE. In short, far too many drinks were consumed, clothes came off and urine didn't quite make it all the way into (or even remotely close to) the toilet. Needless to say I spent the entire holiday feeling like Mark Sanchez after he rammed his head up Brandon Moore's asshole. Let's get to the picks.

2 Man Weave Anti-Lock Of The Week (6-5) Pats -6.5 in New York

Look, I know I didn't post this in time due to unforeseen problems that occurred, but if you don't believe me that this was my lock of the week just check out my Jets/Pats preview column I wrote yesterday for TD Daily. This game was literally free money. Anyone who still believes in Mark Sanchez's ability to lead a football teams need to be sent to a psych ward.

The King's Throne
Gary 82-74-4  Hou -3, Wash +3.5, N.E. -6.5, Oak +8, Indy -3, Den -10.5, Jax +3, T.B., Sea -3, Bal -1, N.O. +2, St. Lou +2.5, G.B. +2.5, Philly -2.5

Watch The Throne
 Flem 80-76-4 Hou -3, Dal -3.5, NYJ +6.5, Oak +8, Indy -3, Den -10.5, Ten -3, Atl, Sea -3, Bal -1, N.O. +2, Ari -2.5, G.B. +2.5, Philly -2.5

Chooch  76-80-4   Hou -3, Wash +3.5, N.E. -6.5, Cincy -8, Indy -3, Den -10.5, Jax +3, T.B., Sea -3, Bal -1, S.F. -2, St. Lou +2.5, G.B. +2.5, Car +2.5

Muggsey  76-80-4   Hou -3,Dal -3.5, NYJ +6.5, Cincy -8, Indy -3, Den -10.5, Jax +3, Atl, Mia +3, Bal -1, S.F. -2, Ari -2.5, NYG -2.5, Philly -2.5

The Mush
Danye 70-86-4   Hou -3, Wash +3.5, N.E. -6.5, Oak +8, Buff +3, Den -10.5, Jax +3, Atl, Sea -3, Bal -1, N.O. +2, Ari -2.5, G.B. +2.5, Car +2.5

Obscure Gif Of The Week / Roof jump fail



Babe of the Week / Jessica Zepeda


Random YouTube Video Of The Week That Has Nothing To Do With Football / Kramer Advertises For Hennigan's



Game Time Snack Of The Week / Hot Pizza Dip

Chief Keef "Locked 'N Loaded" Fantasy Player To Watch For


Victor Cruz, WR Giants

Lots of cats be out here hating on the homie Cruz cuz after he scores he does his girly little salsa dance in the end zone. But what these dudes is failing to realize is that bitches be at home double clicking away on the labia when they see Victor move them hips. Might as well be doing a mating dance out there. Win-win situation if I ever seent one. Put some points up on the board, guarantee yourself some pussy after the game. It's like he's got it down to a science, and if there's one thing I'm wit, it's robbing fools. But if there's too things I'm wit, it's slaying females so I support the salsa. 

-fresh (@danye33)

Allow Me To Introduce You To "The Lovernor"- It's Your Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 6 Recap With Miggs


Of all the paranormal shows out there, nothing sucks viewers in quite like "The Walking Dead." The series itself is so addicting that I even turned to the comics to get my zombie fix because one hour of Rick and the game per week is simply not enough. I started reading The Walking Dead compendium 2 last week, which is the second hundred issues of the graphic novel all put into one large book. Needless to say it's been giving me a pretty big big nerd-on, so I was extra stoked to watch this week’s episode "Say The Word". 

Many questions were left unanswered from last week's episode such as who is prank calling Rick? Is Carol dead? Will the Governor get to know Andrea in a biblical sense? And when will contact be made between the people of Woodbury and the Rick's group of survivors? Luckily, all of these questions were answered on Sunday, setting up what's sure to be an explosive final two episodes.


The episode begins with Merle Dixon leading a group of gunman through the woods to find Michonne. This is further showing that Woodbury is not just a wonderland of hopes and dreams and that nobody gets to walk away unscathed. Michonne battles through the woods, taking out one bad guy at a time and in the process gets shot and gets covered in a whole bunch of zombie guts.

Meanwhile back in Woodbury Andrea admits that she kinda digs the sick, sadistic behavior that presents itself in the quaint little town. In fact it's kind of what attracts her to the Governor. They talk a while, share a drink and then get down to business. The governor made me laugh when he tried to be all cool and answered Andrea's arbitrary question by saying “hell yeah.” He went from being the Governor to the Lovernor in my book.

Finally we have our first interactions between Woodbury and the Survivors. Glenn and Maggie are making a run for baby formula and other assorted items when GOOD OL’ Merle shows up. What a dick. Of course an argument ensues and Merle can’t just do something normal or easy, he has to make everyone in this world hate him even more so he kidnaps Glen and Maggie and brings them back to Woodbury. Michonne witnesses this happen and picks up the items collected by Glen and Maggie and makes her way towards the prison.


Back at the prison Rick just answered a phone call in an abandoned prison that somehow someone out there magically had the number to at the exact moment that Rick happened to be next to it. There are two options- either there is a group of well put together survivors who have somehow figured out a way to get power and a working phone and contact a random number, or the more likely scenario, Rick is nuts. Seeing how he just lived through his wife dying and being completely eaten by a zombie, I’d have to go with the latter of the two. Yes, Rick is hearing voices that happen to be his late wife. Some may think this spells the end of Rick. How can he be insane and survive the zombie apocalypse? To be honest, I think it’s the best way for him to get over it. He has to snap out of it quickly and help his family, so hearing her voice tell him everything's okay and stuff is going to help in the long run. And by the end of the episode Rick seems to be snapping out of his murderous rage a little bit.

Daryl takes Carl under his wing for this episode as they clear out more and more of the prison. They swap stories about how their mothers passed away. Daryl is like "yea my mom smoked in bed and the house caught on fire". Carl who seems totally unimpressed basically says “Ummm I'm pretty sure I shot my mom in the face a couple days ago, but yea your story is pretty sad too.” Daryl eventually finds Carol and she has survived without harm. I called it last week, further confirming that you can’t proclaim that someone is dead in this series until they are completely eaten or shot in the head.

Finally, as Rick cleans up and leaves the bowls of the prison to be a father again, he actually embraces his newborn child for the first time. It’s quite a contrast from the Rick we've seen recently that goes on zombie killing sprees and talks to his dead wife via telephone. He appears to be getting back to being as normal as possible in this situation. As the show closed we see Michonne make contact with the survivors and so marks the beginning of “outsiders” coming into the prison. Some will be good (Michonne), some will be bad (Merle), but we now know what we are in for in the last two episodes of the season. I’m looking forward to the first meeting between Rick and The Governor. Two gentleman this similar in nature battling out for survival will make for great television. I'm looking forward to breaking it down for you on next week’s Walking Dead Recap.

-Miggs

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Week 12 Waiver Wire Pickups


Fantasy playoffs are right around the corner, and you know what that means? You have a 90% chance (or 92% if you're in a 12 team league) of falling short of that elusive title and spending the next eight months sulking in your parents basement while masturbating to low budget internet porn  But fear not! Follow my waiver wire advice and you may live to see another week. 

This installment features a record breaking quarterback, two (yes, TWO!) Jaguars and a do-it-all Patriot. To read up on all these players and more check out my "Win Week 12" column over at TDdaily.com. 

-fresh (@danye33)

Great Moments In Unfriended History, Vol. 9


Reason #632 why you shouldn't be allowed on Facebook once you go through menopause.

Have an annoying "friend" taking up space on your newsfeed? Screen shot his or her status and send it my way to dan.chiavetta@gmail.com.

-fresh (@danye33)

New Study Finds That Sex And Booze Bring People More Happiness Than Religion


(DNA / MSN) Kids are said to fill our lives with poignancy and inexplicable joy, yet it appears many parents would rather be tossing back some bourbon and rolling around in their skivvies than taking care of their beloved offspring. A new study by Carsten Grimm from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand has found people rate sex as the top activity that brings them happiness, followed by drinking alcohol or "partying." Caring for kids (yawn) fell down the list at number five. God also got the cold shoulder, with people rating meditating and religion at number four.

 So you're telling me that people would rather have orgasms and get pants shitting drunk to forget about all their trivial day to day problems than go to church and be told when to sit and what to say by some dude in a robe? Well you don’t say!  Seriously working in news and blogging for these past three years has really opened by eyes to the fact that 90% of all “studies” are just blatantly obvious observations backed up by small sample sizes of data. Like we didn't need a research team to tell us that fucking makes you feel good the same way that we didn't need a study to tell us that old people prefer happy memories or that people are happier on the weekends. But if it’s really necessary for these studies to be conducted, then for the sake of science I figured I might as well chime in with my very own top 10 list of things that bring me happiness.

1. Sex (Intercourse/BJ/HJ/OTPHJ/ZJ)

2. Eating a bomb meal (I could seriously fill out slots 2-10 with specific foods if we wanted to go that route, but for the sake of variety I’m just going to group them all together here)

3. Winning in sports (Doesn't matter if it’s one on one b-ball, flag football, beer pong or mini-golf, there’s nothing like getting a dub)

4. Winning my fantasy football match-up (Nothing makes or breaks a weekend like your fantasy team’s performance)

5. Drinking beers with good friends (A few years ago this post would have read funnels/keg stands/TEQUILA SHOTS, but in case you didn't know I’m all mature and stuff now and enjoy a low key drunk night just shooting the shit)

6.  Beach (Swimming/tanning/reading/drinking/scaring off young children with my chest hair, it doesn't matter. Put my ass on a beach and I’m happier than Adele at the Pizza Hut buffet)

7.  Getting RT’d on Twitter (Not only does it mean someone thought your joke was funny, but it means they thought it funny enough to share with all of their followers. IN YO FACE FAVORITES!)

8. Funny YouTube Videos (Preferably of unintentional self inflicted pain, fan fights at sporting events or that black dude from “Unforgivable”)

9. Beating Bowser in Super Mario World (Stupid dinosaur, ain’t nobody stopping me from getting all up in Peach’s ass)

10. Listening to good music (This probably should be higher on the list, but since I don't have anything funny to add I had to put it last)

-fresh (@danye33)

Monday, November 19, 2012

Fantasy Player That Makes Me Want To Jump Off A Cliff (Week 11 Edition)- Rashad Jennings


Rashad Jennings, RB Jaguars- Week 11 Stats: 3 carries, -1 rushing yards.

I know, I know, shame of me for starting this bum against the leagues second best run defense but A.P. and Bradshaw were on byes and I didn't feel like going with an RBBC guy like Vick Ballard or Mark Ingram. I was confident heading into my matchup because the wonderful minds over at Yahoo! Sports had projected Rashad to get 11+ points, which I would have signed off for faster than it takes Tony Siragusa to polish off a munchkin from Dunkin' Donuts. Long story short Jennings gets benched after rushing for -1 yards on three carries, and then his backup, third stringer Jalen Parmele, ends up rushing for 80 yards. Rashad lost his starting job to the only player in NFL history* to be named Jalen. To make matters worse I also purposely benched Cecil "Salute Your" Shorts (3 rec/81 yds/TD) because I didn't want to double up on Jaguar players going up against a top defense. YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME JENNINGS, and for that I will take great solace in dropping your ass.

*unverified

Got a fantasy player that makes you want to jump off a cliff? Share your woes with the Weave- and e-mail your story to dan.chiavetta@gmail.com

-fresh (@danye33)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

No One Is Happier That Oregon And Kansas State Lost Than This Kid



Last week the Texas A & M Aggies knocked off then #1 ranked Alabama Crimson Tide, thanks largely impart to Johnny Football's Heisman coming out party. The game came down to the wire, but ultimately was decided by an A.J. McCarron interception on 4th and goal with a minute and a half left. Many folks across the country were happy to watch the Tide go down, seeing as it brought schools like Kansas State, Oregon and Notre Dame one step closer to the BCS National Championship.

This 'Bama fan in the above video was not one of those folks.

The clip was recorded over Xbox Live while some gamers played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 in their parent's basement. It captured the 'Bama fans reaction in live time, starting with their second and goal run. This video has since been dubbed over so you can now watch the actual game footage with the manic Southerner's commentary. It's pretty fucking priceless if you ask me.

Fast forward to last night, where #1 ranked Kansas State got their asses handed to them by Baylor, and #2 Oregon lost to Stanford because Chip Kelly doesn't make his boys practice field goal kicks. What this means is that Notre Dame is the new #1 team in all the land, but what it really means is that we may have a chance to watch this kid root for Alabama in a title game. All jokes aside I would let Sandusky babysit my first born from the pen if it meant we could get another video of this kid's reaction to a 'Bama title game loss, choked away in the final two minutes.

Somebody please make this happen.

-fresh (@danye33)

Sexy Lingerie And Cake, That's What Gaga Does


via @ladygaga

Friday, November 16, 2012

WRESTLEMANIA ZOMBIE EDITION! It's Your Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 5 Recap With Miggs

Coming back to watch this week’s episode of The Walking Dead was like seeing an ex-girlfriend whom you had a real emotional break-up with. You don’t want to revisit the pain you felt, but you still want to know if she got fat or not. Which basically means I was nervous about dealing with the emotions of last week’s tumultuous mid-season blowout, but was intrigued at finding out if the group would regroup and move on. Just a quick side note/prediction- I thought that Carol got away scott free last week and survived thanks to T-Dog's heroic actions, but from various recaps I've read, it sounds like she died. Honestly the way this show is going, unless I hear or see someone’s head getting blown or chopped off I’m not guaranteeing a character is dead until we see the lifeless body. They dug a grave for her in the episode but we haven’t seen the corpse yet.

This week’s recap begins in the town of Woodbury. Little by little each week we get to see little psychotic nuggets of information that are more damming to the people of Woodbury and the Governor. Going from a group of normal people just trying to survive and get their old lives back, to a group of unaffected sociopaths who are now turning everlasting danger into entertainment. So in another creepy revelation about the Governor we discover that he is keeping his young undead daughter alive in his closet. For those wondering how and what does she eat to stay alive, well you have to wonder where all the bodies of the heads that the Governor is also keeping in his house went. So that little trash compactor is still hanging around. As sick and as gross as it may sound to keep a dead little girl in your closet, it actually gives the Governor a sense of humanity. It's his baby girl who he doesn't want to let go of even though he must murder people to feed her. It’s pretty much a modern day dramatic version of Little Shop of Horrors FEEEDDDD MEEE SEYMORRRR, I mean GOVERNORRRRRR. 



Michonne is snooping like crazy to get her sword back and discovers the Governors documents and a list that we can assume is one of those convenient “who I'll murder next” lists. She then finds a cage filled with walkers in which she unleashes and dispatches them in what looks like a therapeutic manner. Michonne and Andrea argue about whether or not to stay or leave Woodbury. Michonne books it and Andrea stays back to see what else this small, murderous town can provide. Andrea then gets to witness for herself a little bit of the true identity of the people of Woodbury. As there only form of entertainment each week two men battle in a ring surrounded by zombies waiting to eat them. It may sound sick to some people but honestly I don’t have much of a problem with it. The Governor makes a solid point when Andrea exclaims “You teaching people not to fear them?” and the Governor responds “ No, we're teaching them not to be afraid.” To be honest, if you're living in a world that seems hopeless, why not try and adapt and put this massive undead population to some good use. Like if you could train 22 zombies to play football would you not want to recreate Friday Night Lights every week? With that being said, I think we're in store for some more shocking revelations to come out of Woodbury in the next couple weeks.

If you didn't suspect it already, back at the prison is pretty doom and gloom in the days following a harrowing tragedy. Rick has definitely lost his shit, but it's making for great television. In one of the coolest scenes in recent memory he goes on a zombie killing spree in the prison. Just slicing and dicing his way through the bowels of the prison that will forever hold his wife’s soul. Rick is confronted and pleaded with to return to the group but he almost kills Glenn in the process. You can see the glazed over look in his eyes. The same glazed over look I get when I'm on my fourth plate of dumplings at the Chinese buffet. Daryl and Maggie go off to find baby formula for the baby and Glenn begins digging three graves for those lost in the previous episode. 

The prisoners offer a hand and looks like they are slowly inching closer to becoming part of the group. Maggie and Daryl get the formula and return unscathed. The group, minus Rick, gather around the newborn as it begins to eat and they decide that they have plenty of woman’s names of those lost that they could possibly name the baby. Now Rick enters the room that should contain the body of his dead wife. They don’t show her and there's no indication that her body was taken and buried. Not sure if the writers were inferring anything, again this is just my opinion of what happened. He finds a zombie struggling to move and laying down with a huge belly full of something. Rick dispatches the zombie with a gun to the mouth and then finds a knife and stabs it repeatedly in the gut. My thought is that this zombie found Lori's dead body and literally ate everything. Not sure if that is my sick mind or the way the show played out. Finally in the last moment of the show a phone rings. Rick answers it but we won't find out who it is until next week.


A little note if you guys didn't notice the theme of this week was adaptation. Say it with me kids AD-AP-TAT-TION. It’s the transformation that living in this world forces on its inhabitants. As displayed by Rick, Michonne and the people of Woodbury. Conventional ways of blowing off steam like punching a pillow or masturbating don’t seem to work anymore. So they adapt to their surroundings and use the undead to distress. It was cool to see such an intricate part of the novel played out on TV because it is such a violent experience. All in all I give this episode a B since it would have been hard to top last weeks episode in action and suspense. This week was a solid combo of exposition and action. Come back next week as we begin the homestretch of this season as the final three episodes look to be an intense cap on what has already been an intense season.

P.S My prediction on who dialed 1-800-dial-a-rick….I happen to think it's Morgan, the guy in the pilot who takes Rick in and explains what is going on. 

-Miggs

JOHNNY FOOTBALL!!!! It's Your Week 12 College Football Talk With Chooch



Alabama’s loss to Texas A & M last week shook up the BCS. With just three weeks left, here’s what you should be paying attention to this Saturday.

Looking Ahead To Week 12

Stanford at Oregon: The second-ranked Ducks begin a 3 week stretch of tough games at home vs. the Cardinal this week. Stanford has had a very solid year and is currently ranked in the top 15, but they match up very poorly with Oregon. Expect the Ducks to get their playmakers out in space to exploit Stanford’s powerful but not overly quick front 7. Oregon may get challenged a bit early, but I fully anticipate that they’ll pull away by 20 points in the end.

Kansas State at Baylor: The Wildcats shouldn’t really be challenged by the Bears, but strange things happen in November. How will Kansas State respond to being #1? As long as Collin Klein plays though, it’s tough to see KSU getting beaten.


USC at UCLA: This local rivalry has been re-energized by UCLA coach Jim Mora (and some UCLA fans). The winner of this game goes to the Pac 12 title game to face presumably Oregon. This season has been a huge disappointment for USC, already with 3 losses. It can be partly salvaged by wins over rivals UCLA and Notre Dame over the next 2 weeks.

Ohio State at Wisconsin: Technically a meaningless game (OSU is ineligible for the Big Ten title game and any bowl game this season), this is still intriguing for the fact that OSU is 10-0, perhaps the quietest 10-0 team in history. Wisconsin would hate to ‘back’ into the Big Ten title game and would love to spoil the Buckeyes’ perfect season.

Wake Forest at Notre Dame: This had better be a boring game.

Heisman Watch

1. Collin Klein, QB Kansas State: The award is still Klein’s to lose, but he’s being pushed by the other candidates.

2. Kenjon Barner, RB Oregon: He continues to put up mind-boggling stats.

3. Johnny Manziel, QB Texas A & M: The college football world finally took notice of the incredible season Manziel is having after he led A & M to an upset win over Alabama.

4. Manti Te’o, LB Notre Dame: Added his sixth interception of the season last week vs. Boston College.

5. Marquise Lee, WR USC: Puts up crazy numbers, but will playing on a 3-loss team hurt?

See you all next week

-Chooch

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thursday Night Football Preview- Dolphins At Bills




The Reggie Bush Backlash

Running back Reggie Bush was benched for fumbling in the first half of the Dolphins loss to the Titans on Sunday. Afterwards, the former Heisman winner took to the airwaves on the Paul and Young Ron Radio Show in Miami where he admitted to being upset by the benching. Then, things got a little off topic.
Reggie was asked by one of the hosts whether or not he thought that women were going to be topless in the cold on Thursday night, to which the other co-host responded “You don’t want to see that.” Bush agreed and said ”Not Buffalo women“.
In hindsight, Reggie should have let the DJs do the joking, but it was too late—and right on cue the internet erupted with scorned upstate New York women calling for Bush’s head. Reggie responded to both his haters and supporters on Twitter:
Still, you can bet he’ll hear plenty more in person as soon as he takes the field for warm-ups. But this shouldn’t be a distraction for the seventh-year back, and I fully expect for Bush to let his play do the talking and quiet the crowd with his feet.

For more storylines and my prediction, check out the full article over at TDdaily.com!

-fresh (@danye33)