Thursday, February 27, 2014 Makes Fun of Kings Super Fan Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

The Sacramento Kings haven't given fans much of a reason to cheer since their "Greatest Show on Court" days of C-Webb, Vlade, Peja and Bibby. They haven't made the playoffs since 2006, and up until last May the incompetent Maloof brothers had been doing everything in their power to literally run the team out of town. So no one would have faulted the home town fans for throwing in the towel and checking out for a few seasons while the team floundered below the mediocrity level.

That's what makes Barbra Rust's story that much more impressive, and's idiocy that much more alarming.

Barbra Rust, known to local fans as "Sign Lady," has not missed a Kings home game since her family moved to Sacramento in 1985. Kings owner Vivek Ranadive says she "truly represents the spirit of the Sacramento Kings in so many ways."

In 2013 she was inducted into ESPN's Fan Hall of Fame, after receiving more than 85,000 votes on the Hall's website. Ask any die hard Kings fan and they'll tell you that Barbra is the heart of the team's fan base. Forward Jason Thompson goes one step forward by referring to her as "The heart and soul of the Kings."

In early October, less than a month before the season was set to begin, Rust was diagnosed with breast cancer. Kings fans and players immediately began flooding social media networks using #LoveForSignLady hashtags. Among those who reached out were former players Bobby Jackson, Tyreke Evans and Thomas Robinson.

Shortly after her diagnosis the Kings honored their loyal fan during their Breast Cancer Awareness night, before a preseason game against the Golden State Warriors. "Pink in the Paint" raised money for Albie Aware, a foundation created in the memory of Albie Caron, a local resident who lost her battle to breast cancer in 2002. The team sold pink merchandise with ribbons and all of the proceeds went to the charity. Fans were also encouraged to come and write their name, along with words of encouragement, to Barbra, who needed the cheers of her comrades more than ever.

Here's an excerpt from the team's press release:
"Along with recognizing Albie Aware, the Kings will honor one of its most beloved fans, Barbara Rust, who recently announced that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Rust is known fondly as "Sign Lady" for the steady stream of inspirational signs she has flashed at the team from her seats in the arena for years. The team also is raising money for the foundation by auctioning off two signs made by Rust especially for this event."
Barbra Rust has since undergone at least one successful surgery, and has made her way back to section 118 at Sleep Train Arena.

Basically, anyone with access to Google could have found out who the Sign Lady was in the same amount of time it takes to sneeze.

Which gives you a pretty good idea to how much effort Rafael Canton, of the click-baiting site, used when he put together his "11 Worst NBA Custom Jersey Fails" slideshow for the site.

Coming in at #4 on his list was the beloved Sign Lady, rocking her famed Die Hard Fan Since '85 jersey, with the caption "Sucks to be a loser" written below it.

"Sucks to be a loser" sounds like an insult Frankie "The Enforcer" would dish out on Boy Meets World

Granted, no one should be turning to Complex for their groundbreaking sports coverage, but the fact that this woman, who has become an inspiration to so many, was looped in with the likes of a Kardashian Mavs jersey, and mocked to boot, is disgusting.

-fresh (@danye33)

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Girl Channels Her Inner Miley Cyrus

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Hot Fiya- Arctic Monkeys "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?"

Been bumping to the Monkeys (relatively) new album "AM" for a minute now, and this has long been my favorite song of the bunch (mainly because it hits a little too close to home), but after hearing this song played at a *trendy* Manhattan bar last weekend I knew I had to post fast before it (GASPS!) becomes too mainstream to enjoy.

So enjoy.

-fresh (@danye33)

Rubio With The Over-The-Shoulder Circus Shot

Rubio may have fallen from many people's graces this season, thanks largely in part to his historically low field goad percentage. But luckily plays like this exist to serve as a reminder to just how entertaining of a player he is.

The Spaniard finished up with 7 points, 11 assists and 3 steals in the Wolves 110-101 upset win over the Suns.

-fresh (@danye33)

The Sacramento Kings and Jimmer Fredette Reportedly Headed For a Divorce

Not quite the dancing Leo gif from "Wolf of Wall Street" but close enough

According to Yahoo sports' Adrian Wojnarowski the Kings are in the process of finalizing a buyout agreement with guard Jimmer Fredette, making the former first round pick a free agent, should he clear waivers. 

Jimmer was the 10th pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, and was acquired by the Kings as part of a three team trade with the Bucks and the Bobcats. Fredette was the consensus NCAA player of the year in 2011, and was drafted ahead of a handful of contributing NBA players including Klay Thompson, the Morris twins, Kawhi Leonard, Nikola Vucevic, Kenneth Faried, Jimmy Butler, Chandler Parsons and teammate Isaiah Thomas.

Unfortunately, the sharp shooter was unable to carve out a consistent role on the underachieving Kings squads, averaging just 7 points per game for his career, including a career-worst 5.9 in 2014 (though to his credit, he is shooting close to 50% from downtown).

In a somewhat ironic twist of fate, point guard Isaiah Thomas, whom the Kings selected with the final pick in the 2011 draft (50 spots after Jimmer) has emerged as a star, averaging 20.6 ppg and 6.4 apg in just his third NBA season.

The decision to cut ties with Fredette shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, seeing as the Kings neglected to pick up his 2014-15 team option last fall, all but assuring he would be playing elsewhere next season. His Mormon ties make Utah an interesting landing spot, and Memphis has openly expressed interest, but in reality any team should be licking their chops at the chance to acquire a long range specialist on the cheap this late in the season.

Rumor has it the Kings will use their open roster spot to sign Orlando Johnson once the Jimmer buyout becomes finalized. 

At 20-37 the Kings boast the second worst record in the Western Conference, however they are the only team in the NBA with three players averaging more than 20 points per game (Cousins, Gay, Thomas).

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Raymond Felton Fulfills Life-Long Dream of Becoming a Shooting Guard

Knicks point guard Raymond Felton was arrested early Tuesday morning on multiple weapons charges, just hours after his team lost to the Mavericks on a Dirk Nowitzki buzzer beater at Madison Square Garden.

The nine year NBA vet, whom the Knicks actively tried to move at last week's trade deadline, was arrested on New York's Upper West Side for allegedly pointing a gun at a woman who is believed to his wife, Ariane Raymondo-Felton. Just last week the point guard was dished divorce papers by his wife after 19 months of marriage. 

Felton is being charged with second and third-degree criminal possession of a firearm (both felonies) and fourth-degree possession of a firearm, which is a misdemeanor. He is expected to appear in Manhattan criminal court Tuesday morning.

New York city is home to some of the most strict gun laws in the country. In 2009, New York Giants wide reciever Plaxico Burress was sentenced to two years in prison after accepting a plea deal on firearm charges. The Super Bowl hero was facing three and a half years at trial as a result of a self-inflicted gun wound at a Manhattan nightclub. If convicted on the second degree felony, Felton could expect a similar sentence. 

The robust ball handler is averaging a career low 10.4 points per game this season, while anchoring a grossly underachieving Knicks team that's 15 games below .500, in a conference where roughly half of the teams are actively trying to lose games. New York recently bought out backup point guard Beno Udrih's contract (along with Metta World Peace), which means that should Felton miss time, the team will be left with 36 yeard old Pablo Prigioni as the only point guard on their roster. 

On the bright side, they should be able to land either Marcus Smart, Tyler Ennis or Dante Exum with their 2014 lottery pick.

Oh wait, they don't have that pick because Carmelo Anthony insisted they gut their roster and trade for him three months before the end of the 2011 season, rather than keep their assets and sign him in June as a free agent. Ironically, Melo plans on opting out of the final year of his deal this summer, which was the whole selling point of him coming to the Knicks via trade in the first place. 

-fresh (@danye33)

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Kate Upton Dishes Out Zero Gravity Boners In New S.I. Swimsuit Shoot

Cheeky girl: Kate shoots a smile at the camera as her perfect curves are put on display

Keeping them under control: The beauties curves threatened to spill out of her swimsuit

Defying gravity: Water is spurted into the air on the shoot to demonstrate the remarkable conditions at Cape Canaveral in Florida

She's out of this world! Kate Upton poses in her tiny gold bikini as she spins around an aircraft in zero gravity conditions on a photoshoot for Sports Illustrated

Quite an achievement: With a hair stylist to keep her locks under control, make-up artist, photographers, videographers and editors all onboard, there was a crowd watching as grinning Kate proved ever professional

The curvy, 21 year old super model posed for the "out of this world" photo shoot inside a zero gravity plane at the Space Coast Regional Airport at Cape Canaveral in Florida. For more Upton, check out Sports Illustrated's 50th anniversary Swimsuit Issue, on sale now. 

Back in fashion: This year Kate has scored the rear of the magazine, following her covergirl spots the last two years

-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy "House of Cards" Season 2 Day!

Who needs a Valentine when you can binge watch the new season of "House of Cards" in its entirety without leaving your couch? Enjoy this Walking Dead inspired intro above, and Kate Mara's O face in gif form below!

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The 3 Man Weave Radio Show Presents "The Story of the Fat Man"

So after about four years of collecting virtual dust inside my external hard drive, I finally decided it was time to dive in to some of my old tapes from my college radio show "The 3 Man Weave" on WSUC- 90.5 The Dragon. We ran about thirteen episodes during spring semester of my senior year, and I'd say about 75% of what we talked about, plus some funny behind the scenes stuff, is on film. Slowly but surely I plan on releasing more and more clips from the show which I think you all will enjoy, but for now sink your teeth into the epic story of "the fat man," a diabetic, recovering coke addict who eats 3+ pounds of meat per meal with a heart of gold.

Unfortunately the above video cuts off (camera died) right as we were about to get into a heated debate over which movie is better- Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison. Guess I'll just have to take that one to the blog for some cinematic justice.

Another reason why this clip is relevant is because I've been thinking a lot lately about getting back into the radio (podcasting) game, and am in the process now of ironing out the logistics of how I can make that happen. So keep your ears open for more Weave radio (title TBD) as 2014 chugs along.

As always, thanks for listening/reading.

Also shout out to my co-hosts- Pat Montgomery, John Fontanelli, Cory Hammock and Andrew Widell

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Chicago Newscaster Inadvertently Televises His Porn Website Of Choice

First off I just want to say there is absolutely no shame in using your smart phone to crank stick. Hell, if you're paying $30 a month for pocket access to the internet anyway, you might as well milk it for all its worth (no pun intended).  So I'm not going to fault this guy for bookmarking his spank bank on what's more than likely a company phone. But what I do have a problem with is his choice of fap material. Pornhub, really? What is this 2008? The game's changed man. That was the go to during the wild west of internet porn, but nowadays I just feel there's a lot better options you could be working with. Using Pornhub is like ordering vanilla ice cream with no toppings. Sure, it'll fill you up and get the job done, but why not go for the cookie dough with syrup and sprinkles if you have the chance?

P.S. I'm dying to see what word is being blocked by his thumb. WHAT IS HE TRYING TO EXPOSE?! It's gotta be titties, right?

-fresh (@danye33)

"Timber" Gets The Doo Wop Treatment

Not that we needed it, but here's more definitive proof that adding a little Motown flair makes any pop song better. God damn those guys singing the backup vocals look cool. I'd take this version over Pitbull yelling in my face everyday of the week and twice on Sundays.

-fresh (@danye33)

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

George Zimmerman Is In For A "Ruff Ryde," As DMX Agrees to a Celebrity Boxing Match Against the Child Killer

Trayvon Martin's killer, and overall scum of the Earth, George Zimmerman, isn't done milking his 15 minutes of murderous fame quite yet. Just months after his girlfriend had him arrested for domestic violence, the portly Hispanic man who famously used Florida's "Stand Your Ground" act to avoid serving time for the killing of an unarmed teen he was stalking is once again out for blood. Only this time it will be in a boxing ring, not on a Florida sidewalk. 

More than fifteen thousand people applied for the chance to legally beat Zimmerman's face to a pulp (including your's truly), and after much deliberation "celebrity" boxing promoter Daniel Feldman has decided to grant rapper DMX's wish. 

TMZ quoted DMX as saying "I am going to beat the living fuck out him … I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up." He also added that he would "literally piss" on George's face.

The date, time and location of the three round boxing event was originally going to be announced today (2/5), which just so happens to be Trayvon Martin's birthday. But after some justified public outcry the announcement has been postponed until next Wednesday. 

It's pretty pathetic that we live in a world where murdering a teenage qualifies you as a "celebrity".
But if that's what it takes to let DMX take out a nation's worth of anger on this assholes' face then so be it.  

They just better make sure Zimmerman goes through a metal detector before entering the ring.  

[via TMZ]

-fresh (@danye33)

Stop, Drop and Roll! The Russian Army Just Set The World on Fire With Their "Get Lucky" Cover

I gotta make this quick because my earphones are literally melting as I type this, but this video is the hottest thing to come out of Russia since Anna Kournikova. Four star generals breaking it down like the Bee Gees. Cadets hitting all of the high notes. It really is a thing of beauty. Almost makes you forget about that country's horrific treatment of gays and a government that's so corrupt it makes the Wall Street honchos look like Mother Teresa.

-fresh (@danye33)

As Many As Half Of All Adults In North Korea Are Addicted To Crystal Meth

(The Wire) The drug is now prevalent in the Northern areas of the country. One of the study's authors, Kim Seok-hyang, told The Journal, "Almost every adult in that area (of North Korea) has experienced using ice and not just once … I estimate that at least 40 percent to 50 percent are seriously addicted to the drug."...Opium was once the North Korean drug of choice, but the fields dried up in the middle of the last decade. But now meth is being embraced. Meth seems to have also reached the people. "Doing ice was a social thing; it was a lot of fun," a North Korean defector told The Journal. Sometimes teenagers give their friends meth as a birthday present. That same defector said he used crystal meth, typically referred to as "bingdu" or "ice," before crossing the Tumen River to escape the People's Republic for China.

Well I think we finally found our plot for "Breaking Bad: The Movie." It picks up with Jesse Pinkmen speeding away from the Nazi Ranch and driving right into the loving, tender arms of Dennis Rodman. The Worm then quickly propositions the vulnerable meth cook into agreeing to a business deal that would allow Jesse to cook the highly coveted Blue Sky meth for Rodman to distribute on his monthly visits to see his BFF Kim Jong-un in North Korea.

Only problem is that Kim Jong can't handle the potency of the near-pure drug, and in a ill-advised, strung out moment of vulnerability decides to launch a missile at South Korea. But due to the ineptitude of the North Korea army, the bomb detonates at their own launch station, killing all of the military higher ups stationed in Pyongyang, including Kim Jong himself.

The U-S then invades under the guise of implementing democracy into the former military state, claiming they were in on the plan to drug Kim from the start. Rodman wins the Nobel Peace Prize for indirectly killing the crazed leader and Pinkman is crowned this millennium's Albert Einstein for cooking the batch that brought down the DPR.

Pinkman is honored at a White House ceremony, where he receives a medal of honor and even gets the Commander in Chief to yell "Yeah, bitch!" right into the Pool cameras. He then begins dating Cat Marnell. Vice runs an eight part YouTube feature on him titled "From Pink To Blue." Then Marell OD's in her sleep, in bed, next to Jesse.

/take Badfinger "Baby Blue"

-fresh (@danye33)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A Williamsburg Bar Completely Swagger Jacked My Poor Man's Margarita

In an effort to promote the "perfect Super Bowl hangover cure" the Playboy Kinja page ran a feature (which was later promoted to Deadspin's front page) on "The Levee," a Brooklyn bar that offers a refreshingly unique Margarita alternative called "The Gatorita." Here's an outtake of the drink's origins from the article-
The Gatorita is—what else?—a bastardization of the Mexican margarita. A classic margarita consists of tequila, triple sec, simple syrup and lime or lemon juice. With the right ingredients and care, it's a cocktail that can be crafted into an upscale masterpiece. However, to save time, many bars, chain restaurants and Jimmy Buffet fans shortcut the process by using syrupy "margarita mix" in place of the citrus juice. The Gatorita takes it one step further by replacing the neon margarita mix with—you guessed it—neon, lemon-lime Gatorade, everyone's favorite post-debauchery sports drink. 
The thought process behind the drink is that since most of your hangover is caused by dehydration, the Gatorade actually helps to rehydrate your body while you consume it. By drinking it you're being proactive. Which is exactly what I was being back in June of 2011 when I created this concoction while tailgaiting for the Dave Matthews caravan at an Atlantic City campground.

Of course at the time of my drink's inception, I had other motives besides rehydration on my mind, with money serving as the underlying spark plug. The thought process behind my poor man's margarita was this: tequila is both an effective and delicious way to get drunk, but margarita mix is too sugary and expensive. So I ditched the mix, picked up two 32oz. lemon lime Gatorade's for $3 from a 7-11, and voila, history was made.

But now I've got these Williamsburg hipsters basking in the glory and stealing the lemon-lime light right from under my nose! That's why I had to set the record straight. So the next time you're in BK and decide to quench your thirst with a Gatorita, just know that Danny Utes was doing it first.

-fresh (@danye33)