Thursday, August 28, 2014

God Bless Whoever Put This Always Sunny "God Dammit" Montage Together

God dammit, Frank 

Keytwitty's Week 1 CFB Power Rankings

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Real Football is back (bye bye World Cup soccer). The great tradition and rivalries of college football have return for the fall. Hot new freshman ready to enroll and seniors looking forward for their last big party. I am super excited to get back in the swing of Saturday college football games. Gone are names/phrases like "Johnny Football" and BCS. However, there will be a playoff for the first time ever. YES PLAYOFFS PLAYOFFS (Jim Mora voice).

The College Football Playoff system now means that every game truly counts for every team in every conference. There will be a four team playoff, selected by a committee of 14 well diverse individuals including former players, coaches, politicians, military personnel, athletic directors and a female Secretary of State. The committee’s task will be to select the best teams and rank them for inclusion in the playoff and selected the remaining bowl games, as well as assign the teams to sites. The four teams in the playoffs will play their semi-final games on New Year’s Day. The winners will play in the National Championship game the following week, which will be played  this year at Cowboy Stadium aka Jerry World.

Now for what I do best- ranking college football teams. Let the “Fall Madness” begin.

The Mad Hatter always has some tricks up his sleeve

#10 LSU- Not a lot of star studded players returning on this roster. LSU comes into the season losing a lot of talent to the NFL draft. However this team does not rebuild they reload. Head coach Les Miles reloaded with 5-star freshman running back Leonard Fournette. LSU also has one of the toughest schedule in the nation, as they open up the season against their mighty Big 10 foe Wisconsin.

#9 Baylor- The Bears might have the highest powered offense east of the Pacific time zone. The School will also open up a brand new stadium with a Robert Griffin III statue. An early Heisman name to watch out for is quarterback Bryce Petty. Last Season Petty threw for 4340 passing yards with 33 TDs and only 3 INTs. Petty might be playing for a different type of statue this season. 

#8 South Carolina - Bye Felicia to  Jadeveon Clowney and lets say hello to running back Mike Davis. The Gamecocks are the favorite to win the SEC East. The Gamecocks will also have the first college football game on ESPN’s SEC Network (call your local cable subscribers for coverage).  The ol' ball coach Steve Spurrier has been in the SEC for over 30 years, so he has seen it all and would love to add one more SEC trophy to his office.

#7 UCLA- The other college football team in Los Angeles has a major talent at quarterback. Brett Hundley has NFL scouts excited for next years draft already. He's got the size, arm strength and mobility to dominate at the college level and put butts in the Rose Bowl seats. If Hundley can put together a season like Cam Newton or Vince Young finished up with, UCLA will win a national championship and he will be on someones fantasy football roster next year.

#6 Michigan State- The reigning Big 10 champs and Rose Bowl winners. This team might have the easiest road to CFB's Final 4, especially now that Big 10 rival Ohio State lost their quarterback, Braxton Miller, for the season to a shoulder injury. MSU might have the toughest team in all of college football and they listen to Rich Homie Quan.

#5 Auburn - The Tigers were so close to winning a BCS championship last year but ultimately fell short. Head Coach Gus Malzahn looks to fire up that high scoring offense once Quarterback Nick Marshall returns from suspension. Auburn had one of the best runs ever in recent college football history.

#4 Oklahoma- Boomer Sooner may be back after a huge Sugar Bowl win over college football power Alabama, but I have my doubts about the Sooners. They score a lot of points but they are destined for a bad upset at some point during the season. It's not easy to get to the Final Four but Oklahoma has all the talent in the world to win a national championship.

#3 Oregon- The fastest team with the fliest uniforms in college football. The Ducks are probably the happiest team with playoff system. The Ducks coined the phrase "one loss BCS team." Now a loss to Stanford doesn't put an end to their national championship aspirations. However, the Ducks can only go as far as Marcus Mariota can take them. Mariota in his career has 63 Touchdowns and only 10 INTs.

#2 Alabama -  The Tide have a lot of talent all over the football field, but they have yet to name a starter at QB. Head coach Nick Saban is a mastermind when it comes to recruiting and game planning. #RollTide

#1 Florida State- This time last year Jameis Winston was a college football unknown. Winston was able to put FSU on his back and lead them to a BCS Championship. The two sport star had a year for the ages, taking home the Heisman and a national championship. On the field he is an unquestioned leader. Off the field there are some things he needs to work on to become a better citizen in the FSU community. With Winston FSU is my favorite to win it all heading into the season.

-Keshon (@keytwitty)

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The 2 Man Weave Podcast #7 with Joe Stevens

In episode #7 of The 2 Man Weave Podcast Joe and I talk about getting your writing recognized in the internet age, his time at TWSS, blogger groupies and the upcoming Patriots season. Joe also reflects on his firsthand experience of the Boston Marathon bombing and the ensuing manhunt that followed. 

-@danye33 @joe_turner00  

Want to hear your question answered on-air? Fire an e-mail to No topic is off limits. 

This Dude's Madden Freak Out Is A Thing Of Beauty

I have no idea how old this video is, but with Madden '15 dropping yesterday, it's been making the internet rounds again and boy is it something special. Look, we've all been there. A Madden play so preposterous and infuriating you re-watch in slow-mo over and over again while fighting off the urge to smash your controller into a million little pieces. Happened to me once. Fourth and goal, last play of the Super Bowl in Madden '12 from about the seven yard line down four points. All my receivers are locked down so I take off running with Cam, and just as I'm about to cross the goal line the ball pops loose and the other team recovers.

So I know how brutal it can be to watch a virtual season's worth of work go up in flames. I'm just thankful this guy didn't have the wherewithal to not record his meltdown and post it on YouTube for the world to see.

P.S. Literally laughed out loud at my desk when his voice cracked while yelling "HOW IS THAT A SAFE-TEEEEEEEEEEEE???" I feel you bro, I really do.

-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, August 22, 2014

Great Moments In Unfriended History, Vol. 16

As twitter user @howyadoin1126 pointed out, that type of weight can be lost in a single bowel movement. Screw going to the gym, just go to the bathroom woman. 

-fresh (@danye33)

The 2 Man Weave Podcast #6 with Chris Conforti

In the latest edition of The 2 Man Weave Podcast, Chris and I talk about The Captain's last days in pinstripes, go long on Gang Green and reflect on the legacy left behind by comedian Robin Williams.

@danye33 / @c_conforti

Want to hear your question answered on-air? Fire an e-mail to No topic is off limits. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

The 2 Man Weave Podcast #5 with Cam Lowder

In the latest edition of The 2 Man Weave Podcast, Cam and I talk about positional battles to keep an eye on as week 1 approaches, preseason football and the league's lenient stance of domestic violence. We also dish out some sleeper running backs who could break out in 2014 and previewing the sure-to-regress Kansas City Chiefs. 

@danye33 / @CamboScoots

Want to hear your question answered on-air? Fire an e-mail to No topic is off limits. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Hot Fiya- Action Bronson "Easy Rider"

With heavy electric guitar riffs over the funkiest of basslines, this is probably the most Bronsolino beat you could come up with. "Easy Rider" is the first track of Action's upcoming album Mr. Wonderful, and if this is any indication of what the rest of the disc holds, big things are in store for Queen's Big Boy. The storytelling is on point and I literally laughed out loud at the "I heard your b*tch still wears Ecko" line. I'm assuming that's supposed to be taken as an insult seeing that I haven't even thought about that brand since their appearance as an unlockable team in Madden 2002 (Angie Martinez was inexplicably their first string running back).

-fresh (@danye33)